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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋

Expect mostly sunny skies with some occasional clouds for the next few days, with much cooler highs than last week, dropping to the upper 50s and mid-60s. Oh, and fun fact: Despite evangelical Christians success in taking over the federal government, they are doing VERY POORLY in Oregon, where the number of Oregonians who consider themselves Christians dropped from 67 percent in 2007 to 43 percent in 2024. Soooooo... happy post-Easter, I guess! (To those who do NOT celebrate.) And now, let us rejoice! FOR THE NEWS HAS RISEN.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• In case you missed it last week, Portland City Council has temporarily hit pause on a proposal to ban the sale or use of algorithmic rental price-fixing software in Portland. The council was all set to vote on banning the AI-driven software—such as the one produced by RealPage, which some say encourages landlords to team up in order to simultaneously raise rent across the city and maximize their profits—but Councilor Angelita Morillo hit the brakes because of a lawsuit that RealPage has launched against the city of Berkeley, California (who has already instituted a ban on the software), and wants to see how it plays out. RealPage is claiming that any ban on their software violates their First Amendment rights—which is a dicey AF argument if I've ever heard one—so don't be surprised if the judge laughs them out of court, and our own City Council holds a vote on it in the near future. Our Courtney Vaughn has all the deets, so eat 'em up.

50501 - Portland, OR
April 19, 2025

#handsoff #pdx #rosecity #protest

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— BunJenn (@bunjenn.bsky.social) April 20, 2025 at 9:29 PM

• In other City Council-adjacent news, the baldfaced capitalists of the Oregonian Editorial Board have written another doozy of an editorial, this time pooh-poohing our City Council's decision to deny PGE the right to clearcut a big swatch of land in THE PROTECTED Forest Park, in order to bolster the city's electrical grid. Yes, Portland absolutely needs to have a more solid grid—but even though PGE could have chosen to put the electrical infrastructure in at least two other places, cutting into the natural beauty of Forest Park is easier for them, so of course that's what they want to do. And... prepare for the shock of your lives... the Oregonian Editorial Board (who has an embarrassing history of being the mouthpiece for big business interests) has once again shown their love for defending corporations over the people they are supposed to serve. They scolded the council for not rolling over for PGE's bid to privatize our public park, citing that the other two proposed sites wouldn't work... which is, ummm, not accurate. The only reason PGE wants to chop up Forest Park is because it's cheaper for them to do so. (I'd ask the O's editorial board to do their homework, but their "teachers" are the city's business lobby.)

I feel like @oregonianopinion.bsky.social is missing both the forest AND the trees here. This paragraph gives up the whole game: The PGE choice was to expressly avoid alternatives that might require money or regulation. Going through the *public park* was just pure expediency. 1/3

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— Terry J. Harris (@trryjhrrs.bsky.social) April 20, 2025 at 10:30 AM

• A federal investigation into the shenanigans of former Oregon Secretary of State Shemia Fagan has been closed, without filing criminal charges. As a refresher, Fagan was forced to resign after she was found to be doing private consulting for a cannabis company, while her office was auditing the state's weed industry (that's a conflict of interest, y'all). However, Fagan isn't out of the woods yet, as another investigation—this one from the Oregon Government Ethics Commission—will relaunch after it was paused to see how the feds' case was resolved. The commission will be discussing the matter in early May.

• Looks like another big step forward for professional baseball in Portland, as the Oregon Senate has voted overwhelmingly to support an $800 million “jock tax” (gross!) to help pay for a waterfront stadium. The bill will now move on to the Oregon House, and if successful, on to the desk of Gov. Kotek who has signaled support for the $800 million, 30-year bond that will use tax money from major league ballplayers and team staff to pay off the debt. But before you get too excited (if this is indeed something that excites you), the tax will only go into effect if Portland gets awarded a MLB team, and apparently there's quite a lot of competition for a new franchise, including Salt Lake City who already has funding for their stadium. Want to learn more about the pros and cons of a MLB team in Portland? Check out this smarty-pants analysis from Abe Asher. 

Let's go, trivia lovers! It's time for another hilarious edition of POP QUIZ PDX. This week's trivia Qs include: naughty landlords, the latest in bizarre doughnuts, and we're sorry to report it's time to fire the Easter Bunny. 🐰 See how well YOU score!

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) April 17, 2025 at 9:55 AM

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Pope Francis, the first Latin American pope, has died at the age of 88 after a lingering battle with respiratory illness. Defying his doctors' orders, Francis didn't slow down in recent days, greeting his followers on Easter Sunday, and even having a meeting with the ridiculously inane Veep JD Vance. Francis was known for bringing a more inclusive attitude to the famously non-inclusive Catholic Church, though he brought about few actual changes to the way the church operates. And now? It's conclave time, baby, wherein the church will launch into an unfathomably complicated procedure to choose a new Catholic leader. (Watch the very entertaining and soapy movie Conclave for an interesting peep into the process.)

• Saaaaad Trommbooooone:

BREAKING: The Dow sinks 1,000 points as worries about President Trump’s trade war and his criticism of the Federal Reserve cause investors to pull further from the U.S.

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— The Associated Press (@apnews.com) April 21, 2025 at 8:43 AM

• ICYMI, the Supreme Court issued a rare rebuke to their boss Donald Trump on Saturday, handing down an order that at least temporarily stops King Fool's inhumane deportation of immigrants under the Alien Enemies Act. Only two of the court’s leading dick conservatives, Justices Thomas and Alito dissented, which in turn led to Alito pitching a hilarious, late-night hissy-fit. (Which in my book is the best kind! 😀) 

“Infested with a parasitical ideology”: Trump allies declare war on the justice system after a surprise 7-2 rebuff.

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— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast.bsky.social) April 20, 2025 at 2:02 PM

• To the surprise of absolutely no one, drunken former FOX News personality and current Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has fucked up AGAIN, by leaking US secrets about planned strikes on Yemen in a group chat that included his wife, brother, and lawyer. 🙄 Trump replied that he still "absolutely has confidence" in Hegseth, which means Pete will probably be standing in the unemployment line (or promoted to vice president) by next week. 

• Today in the "what the fuck was she thinking, carrying around $3K in cash, but also ha-ha-ha" headline of the day: "Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s bag, including $3,000 in cash, is stolen from DC restaurant."

• And finally... here's what would most likely happen if Jesus had died during the internet age.

@jakelambertcomedy

 

♬ original sound - Jake Lambert Comedy