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Good Morning, Portland! And welcome back global warming! She was always with us but she's a little more evident on days like Thursday, which topped out at a record-breaking 81 degrees. Cherished local icon KOIN meteorologist Josh Cozart says the warm weather should continue through Saturday before April closes out in her gorgeous mid-60s.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• If we are accepting grades from [checks notes] realtor.com... Oregon received an "F" this week, placing in the bottom five of US states—in terms of housing affordability and rate of new home construction—as considered by [checks notes] a real estate listing website. Okay, I know the government fired the analysts, but we can't seriously be listening to the citation-free ramblings of some Zillow with a more fortunate domain name.
• A new survey of Portlanders, this time conducted at the behest of Council President Elana Pirtle-Guiney and Councilor Steve Novick, sought to comb the responses of 600 registered voters into a read of public will on city budget cuts. The Oregonian's analysis: "Large swaths of Portlanders say police should be cut first," but those numbers are higher in some neighborhoods than others. From where I sit, the report suggests that police and public safety may be the thing Portlanders are more willing to cut than other suggestions in the poll, like fire fighting, homelessness services, Portland Street Response, and parks. None of the totals really speak to an overwhelming majority—other than the idea of increasing the taxes on large, national retailers, a notion which seems to carry support across those surveyed.
• When I read the Oregonian headline "We finally know what’s replacing Bed Bath & Beyond in Tigard," I wondered if it have been written with AI—the state's paper of record has been doing that with their real estate stories—but it's actually an incredible troll. Because the thing that is going into that former Bed Bath and Beyond is actually a Pickleball Kingdom, and it's slated to open this summer. I know you're all crazy for MOAR PICKLEBALL CORTZ. You do you. I'll do a pickleback.
• Speaking of my alcoholism, for the 2025 Portland Fun Guide I contributed an argument-inciting screed on how one might seek to classify Portland's dive bars. Already there are people in my inbox, asking if something is really a dive, and why I didn't include Paymaster Lounge. Thus, I present to you—cut for space—the half-assed list I was keeping as I wrote that round-up: Bars That Are NOT Dives.
• Oh, but this is actually a nice list. A new music video from local up-tempo punks Nasalrod, “The Maker,” is packed with famous cameos—from members of Dead Moon to Help to Mudhoney. Can you find them all?
• That'll probably be in a Pop Quiz PDX soon—but THIS WEEK's Mercury news quiz takes another stroll through Portland notables, inquiring: "How Much Do YOU Know About Portand's Top Landmarks?"
• Saddle Mountain is a fun and punishing hike / natural area out by Seaside, Oregon—but due to some scheduled removal of potentially hazardous trees (which is what you say when you don't want Taylor Griggs to come screaming out there on her bike) the recreation and death hike areas will be closed from May 6-May 10. Saddle fans take note! This is but ONE of SEVERAL scheduled maintenance projects this summer / fall. If you frequent the Saddle—for the love of god, stop her before she kills again—stay up to date on her temporary closures and developments here.
• Truly, I hunger for the mountain's vengeance because it is mother fucking Bradford Pear season again.
IN NATIONAL /INTERNATIONAL NEWS:
• OH FUCK, HERE WE GO. Arresting judges doesn't seem like a great new development from the Trump administration. The New York Times reports that FBI agents arrested a Wisconsin county judge, saying that the agency suspected she “intentionally misdirected federal agents away from” an immigrant person being pursued by federal authorities. (FWIW, those authories say they got the person they were seeking.) Further context from the NYT: "The Trump administration has vowed to investigate and prosecute local officials who do not assist federal immigration enforcement efforts, denouncing what they call 'sanctuary cities' for not doing more to assist federal apprehensions and deportations of millions of undocumented immigrants." The Trump administration also did this during Trump's first term, but dropped the charges in that case, allowing the judge in question to "refer herself to the Massachusetts Commission on Judicial Conduct."
• In other news, the phone number Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth used in the now-infamous "clean on OPSEC" Signal chat was also used for WhatsApp, Facebook, and a fantasy sports site, according to NYT. The AP reports Hegseth also "had an internet connection that bypassed the Pentagon’s security protocols set up in his office to use the Signal messaging app on a personal computer."
• Admission of idiocy here, I thought Russia's invasion of Ukraine was a bipartisan issue, but President Trump is failing utterly or just plain trying to give parts of Ukraine to Russia, as he attempts to force the European country to make massive concessions. Republicans, when will you come get your certifiable son?
BREAKING: President Donald Trump tells Time magazine "Crimea will stay with Russia," as he presses for a deal to end Moscow’s war in Ukraine.
— The Associated Press (@apnews.com) April 25, 2025 at 5:13 AM
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• Preorders for the Nintendo Switch 2 went up yesterday, and retailers were quickly overwhelmed by the volume of interest. Some will say it devolved into chaos—probably more like a publicity stunt that involved GameStop employees being yelled at—but like... it'll be fine. It's really weird to call that chaos when the FBI just arrested a judge.
• Finally, a scary movie that says something to me about my life (GUILTY of brushing aside dangerous but cheap living situations):
