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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!đź‘‹

Gird your loins for an absolutely gorgeous and warm May Day, that arrives with blindingly sunny skies and a high of 85 (the warmest day of the year so far)! And if you're looking for a good time, may we suggest our guide to May Day demonstrations and get-togethers? And if you'd like even more fantastic ways to spend a sunny day, don't forget to pick up the Mercury's latest print issue, "The Fun-Lover's GUIDE TO PORTLAND"!  It's a veritable horny cornucopia of fun ideas to turn your collective frowns upside-down(s). And now here's your daily horny cornucopia of NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• As previously mentioned, it's MAY DAY, a time to recognize and champion workers' rights... which trust me, are already under serious fire now that the government is in direct service of billionaires. Planning on getting out in these streets to lift your voice for the protection of others? Our Taylor Griggs and Suzette Smith have the best May Day protest roundup in town, which features a rally hosted by the Portland Association of Teachers, and even some weekend events for those who can't escape work—which kind of solidifies why we need May Day protests, isn't it? Read the whole thing here.

This Thursday is May Day—also known as International Workers’ Day—and Portland is showing up, with events starting tomorrow through the weekend. With the federal attacks on workers, immigrants, and marginalized people across the board, May Day is all the more relevant and important this year.

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) April 30, 2025 at 9:37 AM

• Oregon Republicans think they have a great idea to solve the state's backlog of road maintenance, and surprise... it's TERRIBLE. Instead of raising taxes on the people and organizations doing significant damage to the roads (cough—heavy freight, oversized pickup trucks, people who refuse to take off their snow tires—cough), they want to once again penalize the poor and those trying to protect the environment by making severe cuts to public transit, bicycle projects, and yanking back rebates for electric vehicles. Does their thoughtless plan have a snowball's chance of worming its way into the state budget? Of course not, but it's just another reminder how Republicans are not only unable to "read the room," they don't recognize anyone in the room except themselves and the stupidly wealthy.

•  The Oregon Zoo's famous and beloved Tilly the Otter has died at the age of 16. Tilly was rescued as a pup in 2009, and went on to become a mother—not only to her own kids, but adopting other motherless otters as well—and even made an appearance on the NBC sitcom 30 Rock. Tilly had a fantastically long life for an otter, as most cared-for otters live to an average age of 12. RIP to a real one. 

• Hold on, hold on, HOLD ON: An all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant in Portland that's actually good? Believe it, because our Andrea Damewood has a review of Hamono Sushi and its unlimited omakase, which she says is "delicious" while also giving you the friendly advice of making a reservation ASAP to secure your spot at this tiny, lovely restaurant. Read it here! 

• One of Portland’s best hip-hop producers, The Mayoress, has dropped a new video that's dedicated to... [checks notes]... Portland International Airport's wooden roof? Why, yes indeed! And not only is it fire, the video features an absolute banger of a lineup that's a veritable who's who of Portland hip-hop. Our Jenni Moore has more!

• Oh, and here's your must-read of the day:

If you believe we are still living in the same US that conducted elections in November 2024, you are living in a dream. That America is gone. The one we are in now is not run by someone acting like a dictator—or, as Rachel Maddow claimed, “too incompetent” to be a dictator—but is the real deal.

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) April 30, 2025 at 10:07 AM

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• The world's worst boss and crybaby billionaire, Elon Musk, officially announced yesterday that he will be reducing his workweek with the money-wasting agency DOGE to focus on the other businesses he's ruining (Tesla, Twitter, and SpaceX). Musk says he will now only devote two days per week on DOGE—which experts say has wasted almost as much money as it purportedly saves—adding that the bullshit agency has fallen into a "rhythm" and doesn't need his day-to-day attention. Instead he'll reportedly turn his focus to Tesla, which has seen a 71 percent drop in profits during the first quarter... thanks to people like these Portlanders who have been protesting weekly at local Tesla dealerships, and deserve our hearty thanks for helping show the world that Musk is nothing more than an entitled billionaire loser who looks like his face is covered in Saran Wrap. 

• A bipartisan measure to undo Trump's economy wrecking global tariffs has failed in the Senate, after certain members of the GOP revolt against Trump (including human turtle Sen. Mitch McConnell) failed to show up for the vote. While Republicans are trying to claim that the measure had zero chance of passing in the GOP-controlled House, everyone and their dog knows that they are all cowardly cult members who are simply going to "cult."

this would be so funny if this guy wasn’t president

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— onion person (@junlper.beer) April 30, 2025 at 8:33 AM

• In her first major speech since her loss to Trump, Kamala Harris unsurprisingly condemned King Fool, saying that he has brought the country to the brink of a constitutional crisis (hello... already there), and has caused the "greatest man-made economic crisis in modern presidential history" (true facts). It's expected that Harris is seriously considering running for California governor, or (less likely) having another go at the presidency in 2028.

• Speaking of economic ruin, CNN reports that "the countdown to shortages and higher prices has begun" due to Trump's insanely stupid tariffs, and according to experts, Americans will be facing a tsunami of undeniable inflation and product shortages in about six-to-eight weeks. (Translation: It's going to be hard for MAGAts to continue supporting Trump's alleged 2028 run for president if they can't afford their precious red hats.)

• And finally... while one should never bring a knife to a gunfight, I see nothing wrong with bringing a skateboard to a cat fight.

@kellysica

As he should🤭

♬ original sound - kellysica