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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋

Following a few morning clouds, expect more sunny skies and decidedly cooler temps as the high drops to 80 degrees today—BUT! Don't you think that's still warm enough to enjoy the Mercury's SUMMER OF SLUSHIES? Go get those boozy, frozen cocktails courtesy of your fave Portland bars—and don't forget, they're only $10 each! (By the way that was a rhetorical question... it's definitely warm enough to enjoy a slushie! Now? Let's slush up some NEWS.)

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• U.S. District Judge Michael Simon has ordered the federal government to immediately release a 24-year-old asylum seeker, identified as Y-Z-L-H, who was kidnapped by ICE agents in the hallway of Portland Immigration Court in early June, and then transported to a Tacoma detention center. The asylee's lawyers argued that ICE agents had failed to provide any proof of a crime before unlawfully snatching him up... so why did they? The only reason the assistant US attorney could provide for their actions is that they were told to do so by Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem (AKA "ICE Barbie") who according to the Trump administration, "doesn't need a reason." Holy shit.

• By the way, if you haven't read this banger of a story from our Courtney Vaughn, hop to it already!

A Portland-area father is among several asylum seekers in Oregon who's been arrested and targeted for deportation without cause. Attorneys say asylees are being summoned to check in with ICE, only to be detained and transported. One man was threatened with deportation to Sudan if he didn't comply.

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) July 1, 2025 at 7:12 AM

• And the fallout continues for the Oregon legislature after they failed to pass an extremely necessary transportation bill before their session ended last Friday. Portland Mayor Keith Wilson noted that the lawmakers' failure to act could result in our city losing a whopping $11 million in funds which are desperately needed for street repair, and could lead to up to 50 transportation workers being laid off. Absolutely terrible news for Portland's Bureau of Transportation, which was already in a deep budget hole (to the tune of $6 billion) and are hanging on by their fingernails. So forget your dream of safe sidewalks, and learn to love your local potholes, I guess!

• In sporty-sports news, beloved former Blazer Damian Lillard has been waived by the Milwaukee Bucks and is now an unrestricted free agent, as he recovers from a ruptured Achilles tendon and will probably miss the upcoming season. Should the Blazers snap him up? Some think "yes," some think "no"—but most importantly, what do YOU think?

• If you're wondering what shows to attend this weekend, our resident music scene expert, Nolan Parker, has all the picks you've been looking for, including Bijoux Cone at Mississippi Studios, IX of Swords at the Lollipop Shoppe, and tonight, Shanea at Holocene! MISS AT YOUR PERIL.

For your dinner reading: I took a big word dump on this toilet of a movie

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— Dom (@sinacolad.bsky.social) July 1, 2025 at 4:49 PM

• Speaking of movies (and the people who love them... I'm talking about YOU), don't miss our Lindsay Costello's new column, Second Run Portland, which lists the absolute best returning movies to see this coming month at our city's top-notch independent cinemas!

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Breaking news: REPUBLICANS HATE YOU. Yesterday the GOP shitheads of the Senate passed King Fool's "Big, Beautiful Bill"—you know, the one that will kick 17 million Americans off their insurance, cut $1 trillion from Medicaid, defund Planned Parenthood, practically end nutritional assistance for 2 million children, and give YUGE tax cuts to their billionaire benefactors, while putting our country trillions in debt. And now it goes back to a GOP-controlled House for a final vote, where lawmakers are rushing back in order to pass the bill before the completely arbitrary July 4 deadline. There are some conservative holdouts who are butt-hurt about the changes made in the Senate—so expect a few fireworks, but because they are spineless weasels, they will most likely follow the orders of their dark lord and master.

A federal judge has moved swiftly to block Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem’s efforts to end the protected status for hundreds of thousands of Haitian migrants ahead of schedule, just days after the decision was announced.

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— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast.bsky.social) July 2, 2025 at 6:05 AM

• Good and bad news for music mogul Sean "Diddy" Combs: A jury has found Combs not guilty of sex trafficking and racketeering, but chose to convict him on two lesser charges of transporting people for prostitution, which is a federal felony, each carrying a maximum ten-year prison sentence. Attorneys are currently arguing whether Combs should immediately be released, or if he still poses a threat to the public—or at least to the many women he's been accused of abusing.

• WOMP-WOMP!

Breaking: Tesla’s global sales tumbled for the second quarter in a row, leaving the carmaker in a deep hole to dig out from to avoid consecutive annual declines

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— Bloomberg News (@bloomberg.com) July 2, 2025 at 6:22 AM

• Back to the topic of "spineless weasels": Paramount (which owns the CBS network) announced they will pay President Trump $16 million to settle the lawsuit he has against them, over last October's 60 Minutes interview with Kamala Harris. King Fool alleged the show edited the interview to show favoritism to Harris—but he's probably just angry that, in comparison to his former opponent, he consistently looks like a fucking moron. Anyway, I'm sure the following sentence has nothing to do with their decision: "Paramount is simultaneously seeking approval from his administration for its proposed merger with Skydance Media." Spineless weasels.

• In much better news, the Wisconsin Supreme Court has struck down a 176-year-old ban on abortion in the state. The ban was lifted in 1972 when Roe v Wade went into effect, but following the US Supreme Court's most recent decision on the medical procedure, shithead conservatives were screaming that the original, older ban was once again the law of the land. Not that it matters to Republicans, but a solid 62 percent majority of Wisconsin voters are in favor of legal abortion. 

• And finally... I had the same thing for breakfast as this guy.

@nursinghomecomfessions What did you have for breakfast this morning? #nursinghomeconfessions #ai ♬ original sound - nursinghomeconfessions