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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋

Hey goth kidz! Enjoy your last day of partly cloudy weather (with a high of 78), because the sun comes rrrrrraging back tomorrow and through the foreseeable future, with highs ranging from 90 to 94. And now? Prepare to rrrrrrrage about today's NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• I'm afraid we need to start with some very troubling news: According to City Administrator Michael Jordan, Portland stands to lose hundreds of millions of dollars in federal grants used for such basic services as providing low-income housing, transportation improvements, and gun violence reduction, unless we follow Trump's racist plan to practically eliminate the city's DEI policies and programs. According to Jordan, "the City currently manages 126 active federal grants totaling $387 million—more than 90% of it invested in housing and transportation. Last year alone, Portland was awarded $98 million in federal grants." This currently puts our city in a very troubling situation, and according to this report from our Courtney Vaughn, the mayor and city council are currently considering all avenues of response, including legal challenges and more. (Question: If an utterly corrupt federal government continues to divest from us, at what point do moral people divest from the federal government?)

Portland City Administrator Michael Jordan said the city is poised to accept several new federal grants, but it won’t actually receive the funds unless it certifies compliance with Trump's recent anti-DEI executive orders. Portland is currently utilizing 126 federal grants totaling $387 million.

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) July 9, 2025 at 5:25 PM

• Very much related: OPB has a deep dive into how Trump's recently passed "Big, Beautiful Bill" could decimate the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (AKA SNAP, or food stamps) which feeds one-in-six Oregonians, almost half of whom are seniors, people with disabilities, and children. “The idea that we are going to send hundreds of thousands of people into hunger is a very, very worrying, sad moment for me,” says the executive director of NeighborImpact, Scott Cooper. “We’re trying to do something about it, but there’s only so much you can do.” (Again, if the federal government continues to divest from us, at what point do moral people divest from the federal government?)

• And while we're on the topic of the possible necessity of (at least temporary) federal divestment: "'Big Beautiful Bill' may have killed key funding source for Rose Quarter freeway project." (Who's starting to feel like a frog in a pot of boiling water? 🙋‍♂️)

• Since I brought it up, let's talk a sec about divesting from the federal government. Full disclosure: I have no idea how this would practically work, because I am not an economic neurosurgeon. However I do think exploring this concept is better than some reactions I've been reading online, suggesting that the city should basically "lie" to Trump, remove the DEI and equity programs from online, and then "sneak" them back in when the feds aren't looking. Besides the fact that this is an extremely dicey strategy, it ignores one VERY IMPORTANT POINT: People of color already distrust white Portlanders for very good reasons. We have a long history of making grand proclamations and promises, only to walk them back later because they are inconvenient. This is a moment in Portland history where the rubber meets the road. Either we believe and act on our stated beliefs to protect and recognize underserved communities, or we reveal ourselves to be exactly what people of color already (justifiably) suspect: that we are privileged hypocrites. Maybe federal divestment isn't the answer. But throwing our claimed beliefs and communities of color under the bus? That's far worse.

BACK TO THE NEWS!

• After only two months on the auction block, Portland's U.S. Bancorp Tower—AKA "Big Pink"—has been sold to Jeff Swickard (of the Swickard auto dealerships) for the low, low price of $45 million... a fraction of the $372.5 million that U.S. Bank paid for it in 2015. This is good news for us, because the next time we buy a car from Swickard, we can easily talk him down to a fraction of the vehicle's price... because fair is fair, right? 

Guest opinion: "Three years after the Normandale Park shooting, I have the uneasy feeling that my city has moved on, failing to absorb important lessons about its most expensive bureau."

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) July 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)—which Trump has tried to disassemble via major cuts from DOGE—has unsurprisingly stumbled under the leadership of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem in the wake of the devastating flood that killed at least 120 people so far. But guess what? The worst is yet to come as the hobbled agency is facing a potentially deadly hurricane season that's scheduled to arrive this summer. While Republicans are desperately trying to claim that the now-skeleton agency is "more nimble" with fewer experts onboard, there is a definite void of leadership following the exodus of "16 senior officials who took with them a combined disaster expertise of more than 200 years."

JUST IN: Judge issues new nationwide block against Trump's order seeking to end birthright citizenship. It's meant to comply with the Supreme Court's opinion. cnn.it/3In1i76

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— CNN (@cnn.com) July 10, 2025 at 8:10 AM

• Despite King Fool's whining disappointment over President Vladimir Putin's carefree refusal to end his war against Ukraine, Russia once again bombed the shit out of Kyiv last night. The country fired at least 400 drones and missiles at the Ukrainian capitol, killing two and injuring at least 17 others. According to Kier Giles, of the London-based think tank Chatham House, “For all the twists and turns of infighting within the Trump administration over what should or should not be sent to Ukraine as military aid, support for Kyiv is dwindling, accompanied by a resolute determination [from Trump] not to impose costs on Moscow.”

• Billionaire crybaby Elon Musk has been forced to revamp his Grok AI chatbot after an earlier update turned it into a raging antisemite who named itself "MechaHitler." (Can I just pause for a moment to scream into the void, "WHAT KIND OF FUCKING TIMELINE ARE WE LIVING IN?!?" Back to the news.) Besides producing several posts praising Adolf Hitler, it accused “radical leftists with Ashkenazi surnames” of “pushing anti-white hate,” while also claiming that Hollywood was overrepresented by Jewish people. Internationally, the chatbot called Poland’s Prime Minister Donald Tusk “a fucking traitor” and “a ginger whore,” before finally being taken offline Tuesday and presumably repaired. As for Musk, he shrugged off the blatant racism and lies of his creation, saying “Never a dull moment on this platform [that he objectively ruined].”

• PERFECT TIMING! 😂

“Grok is coming to Tesla vehicles very soon. Next week at the latest,” Elon Musk stated Thursday in a post on X.

The EV brand would catch up with the likes of Mercedes-Benz and Volkswagen, which have already integrated ChatGPT into their vehicles as voice assistants.

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— WIRED (@wired.com) July 10, 2025 at 7:47 AM

• Trump's MAGAts are hilariously losing their goddamn minds after the president's hand-picked DOJ came out with a memo claiming that sex criminal Jeffrey Epstein's famed "client list" doesn't even exist in an attempt to bury the story—probably for reasons we all suspect. King Fool's obsessive base are currently furious because of the long-held belief that the government was covering up Epstein's many crimes, and... OH NO! NOT OUR DEAR LEADER, TOO! 😂

• And finally... if you're looking for the happiest video of dogs twerking in the world—you've come to the right place.

@happydogworld Super happy dog !!! Who said dogs can’t dance? 🤣🤣#dog #dogsoftiktok #funny #funnyvideos #foryou ♬ Lil Boo Thang - Paul Russell