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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋

If you were bemoaning this past weekend's cloudy skies, you're in for a treat, because this week is all about the sunny-sun-SUN with highs hitting the low 80s and popping up to 90 by this weekend. And in other good news, the Mercury is currently hiring for an additional news reporter to join our crackerjack team of journalists! Are you a reporter? Do you hate your current job because your boss is a dick? Are you constantly disappointed by your career because you don't get to pursue the stories you're passionate about, and again, your boss is a dick? Then the Mercury could be the answer to your career dreams. And best of all? NO BOSS DICKS. Find out more here, and let your reporter friends know! And now, let's passionately pursue the NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• As expected by everyone and their sister, the Trump administration is attempting to flex their laughably saggy muscles by insisting that Oregon—and other like-minded states—reverse its sanctuary status policy on treating immigrants/human being with the respect they deserve, or they "will take legal action." (Like what? LEGALLY BORING US TO DEATH? They're doing a pretty good job of that already.) After the eternally boring US Attorney General Pam Bondi issued the warning, Governor Tina Kotek immediately responded by saying “We will not be bullied into doing the federal government’s job of immigration enforcement.” Note to Mayor Wilson: This is how one should respond to threats from a flailing, impotent government, rather than immediately rolling over when faced with the loss of federal funding. (Reminder: "Federal funds" are actually OUR tax dollars that are being stolen by Trump's corrupt cronies... so maybe don't help them do it?)

"I must emphasize that for anyone who has lived in any big American city, these Republican men are almost indescribably pathetic." prospect.org/justice/2025...

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— ryan cooper (@ryanlcooper.com) August 18, 2025 at 7:37 AM

• The mass-scale kidnapping of immigrants continue, and the perpetrators, ICE, is leaving all sorts of trauma and tragedy in their wake. The Oregonian tells the story of Sotelo García, who was forced to quit her job, take over her father's vineyard service business, and care for her 17-year-old brother and two nieces, after her dad—who has no known criminal record—was deported back to Mexico by immigration agents. Her mother is also out of the picture after she chose to leave the state out of fear of also being deported. Now García, at 26-years-old, finds herself running an unfamiliar business, and being the matriarch of the family, while also dealing with the grief associated with her parents forced removal from the country where they've built their lives. And lest we forget, this story is being repeated with hundreds of thousands of families across the nation.

Highest 2 Lowest is Spike Lee’s fanboy homage to Akira Kurosawa—and yet another chance to make fun of Boston sports fans.

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) August 15, 2025 at 12:14 PM

• In yet another jarring example of Trump screwing over his base in Oregon, rural counties that have relied on timber sales are discovering they have been tricked by the president's "Big, Beautiful Bill" and, due to the fact that congress has not provided the funding they need, will soon run out of money for basic necessities, including transportation repairs and law enforcement. According to this report from OPB, "In Curry County, the sheriff’s department already only responds to calls for life-threatening emergencies or crimes that are actively happening," and the worst is yet to come. This timber money, which at one time was barely funding these counties, will now be funneled out of the state and directly into the greedy pockets of Trump's federal government. In the words of Foghorn Leghorn, "I say, I say... you've been had, son."

• The driver of a tractor trailer truck struck and killed one pedestrian and seriously injured another Sunday morning in the Lloyd District before fleeing the scene. While police caught the truck driver miles away from the area, officers are saying "It is not clear if the driver was aware of the crash." 🙄  

Let's go, brainiacs! It's time for another brain-teasing POP QUIZ PDX. In this week's trivia quiz: Ugly (cute) dogs, athletic hogs, and what food should be declared Portland's official "signature dish"? See how well YOU score! 🤓

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) August 14, 2025 at 9:57 AM

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• After being dog-walked and utterly humiliated by Vladimir Putin during their brief Alaska "peace talks" last week, King Fool is expected to meet with Volodymyr Zelenskyy today to try and convince the Ukrainian president to surrender Crimea—which Putin blatantly stole from the Ukrainian people—and drop his dream of joining NATO. As you undoubtedly recall, Trump recently pretended to get "tough" with Putin, demanding a ceasefire from the war criminal, but then folded like a house of cards the second he came in contact with his former puppet master—because if nothing else, Trump is and always will be TACO. 

European leaders joining Ukrainian President Zelenskyy at the White House are looking to safeguard Ukraine and Europe more broadly from any further aggression from Moscow — but also are providing a show of support for Zelenskyy after his last visit to the White House led to an angry confrontation.

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— The Associated Press (@apnews.com) August 18, 2025 at 8:00 AM

• Calling all Rachel Maddow fans: The progressive news network MSNBC is splitting off from its sister organization NBC News, and will be renamed MS NOW (which clumsily stands for "My Source for News, Opinion, and the World"). While the network has previously relied on reporting from NBC News for the majority of their content, they've been slowly building their own roster of journalists and news gathering infrastructure in order to stand on their own—and yes, it appears that for now, fan favorite Rachel Maddow will be remaining with the company.

• Following their two-week walkout/protest, Texas Democrats say they are returning to their home state and their jobs—which means corrupt state Republicans can go forward with their plan to gerrymander Texas and award themselves five more congressional seats in their already overwhelmingly red state. The Dems say they were inspired to return after seeing other states—primarily California—draw up plans to redraw their own US House maps in order to counteract the GOP's nefarious scheme.

The White House press secretary’s signature necklace has been noticeably absent after being brutally trolled.

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— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast.bsky.social) August 17, 2025 at 1:24 PM

• Protests are exploding in Israel, as more and more people are joining the demonstrations to end their government's continuing genocide of the Palestinian people. "Hundreds of thousands" of protesters have reportedly blocked highways, and are even showing up at the homes of politicians to demand that the Israeli government stop bombing Gaza which has created a humanitarian crisis and is putting Israeli hostages in danger. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu responded to the protests on Sunday with more airstrikes against Gaza, killing at least 17 people whose only crime was waiting on food from aid trucks, and trying to avoid starvation.

• And finally... if you're disappointed by your current dating pool, THIS IS THE ANTHEM FOR YOU.

@loveaquamoon Last night at Trixies #openmic ♬ original sound - detroitaquamoon