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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋
Get ready for THONG CITY, baby, as sunny skies remain for most of the work week and today’s temperatures skyrocket to an especially balmy 76 degrees! But relax, heat-haters… because the temps for the rest of the week will skootch back down to a much more reasonable—in your warped eyes—60 to 65 degrees. Now I invite you to turn those same warped (but undeniably sexy) eyes to today’s NEWS.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• Ye gods! Controversial local auto dismantler NW Metals—located on North Commercial Avenue—has amassed more than… [checks notes, rubs eyes] $550K (!!) in state fines over the past decade for ignoring environmental regulations. Environmental watchdogs and state agencies say the scrapyard business continues to operate without proper permits, jeopardizing public health and safety. Meanwhile, the owner claims he’s been the victim of racist, targeted enforcement by state regulators. Reporter Michael Williams dives deep into the situation and pulls out some very interesting facts in this must-read Mercury report!
• According to analysis from the Oregonian, eviction rates in Multnomah County continued to creep upward last year, averaging about 1,000 per month during 2025. Most of the evictions were filed when occupants were unable to pay their rent, and while many of these cases were ultimately dismissed (for example, if renters were able to pay off their balance before their court date), others chose to move out before their evictions could take place. This rise in eviction filings comes as local governments back away from previously enacted eviction prevention and diversion programs, according to Evicted in Oregon researcher Colleen Caroll, who rightly added that “support at the city, county and state level is inadequate.” (And this has been your “understatement of the day.”)
• In a very much related story, Mayor Keith Wilson is asking neighboring Washington and Clackamas counties to pitch in millions of dollars to help support Portland’s homeless shelters, saying the counties have “crucial mutual interests, including a shelter system that serves our regional communities.” While it’s unclear how much money the city is asking from Clackamas County, the mayor has reportedly asked the Washington County Board of Commissioners for $6 million to beef up our system, as Multnomah County continues to face dire financial straits within its current homelessness budget. It’s unclear how much our county neighbors will be willing to fork over for Wilson’s (stubbornly insisted upon) shelter plan—particularly now that, despite the mayor’s promises, thousands more people have become homeless since he took office.
• Calling all music lovers (and those who love to read): You’ve almost certainly heard the karaoke classic “She’s Actin’ Single (I’m Drinkin’ Doubles)” before—but the story of honky-tonk king Gary Stewart has so much more to offer. Portland author Jimmy McDonough has written a 544-page biography on the country singer he says moved him the most, and the always excellent Melissa Locker has the review!
• Step aside, Filet-o-Fish—there’s a new shrimp burger sheriff in town! Bbang, a Korean-inspired burger and fried chicken spot, opened next to Holy Ghost bar on February 18, and the shrimp burger has been one of the restaurant’s most popular dishes. At the heart of it is a six-ounce handmade shrimp patty, a mix of coarsely chopped and smoothly blended shrimp that’s battered in panko and fried. Think rectangular, springy fish ball meets shrimp tempura. (DEAR GOD that sounds delish, and if you’re in the mood to drool further, check out the review from our Katherine Chew Hamilton!)
IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:
• Iran is refusing to kowtow to Trump’s blowhard demands to open the Strait of Hormuz and end the war (which he helped start), and said it would forcefully retaliate if the president follows through with his threats to bomb crucial Iranian infrastructure, such as power plants and bridges. (Note: According to legal experts, such an attack could be considered a war crime under international law—but when has that ever been a concern to Trump?) In a social media post, the president screamed into the void, “open the Fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards,” threatening to begin attacks on “Tuesday, 8 P.M. Eastern Time!” before adding “Glory be to GOD!”—which is a completely normal and level-headed act of international diplomacy and leadership, don’tchathink?
• Two American pilots have been rescued from Iran after their jet fighters were shot down over a mountainous region of the country, and are currently receiving care at a military hospital in Germany. To aid in their rescue, the CIA allegedly launched a deception campaign within Iran, spreading the rumor that the US had already found and transported one of the pilots to safety, supposedly confusing the Iranian military.
• It’s looking more and more likely that criminal contempt charges against former White House advisor Steve Bannon will be dropped. In 2022, Bannon ignored a subpoena from the congressional committee investigating the January 6, 2021 domestic terrorist attack on the nation’s capitol, in which he would’ve been asked to spill the beans on his discussions with Trump about inciting the MAGA mob. Bannon appealed the conviction which recently came before the Supreme Court, who is putting the decision back in the hands of a lower court, where it is expected to be dismissed. That said, Bannon’s dismissal would be mostly symbolic, as the human turnip already served four months in jail in 2022.
• The crew of the Artemis II are on target to slingshot around the far side of the moon today, taking them further into space than any human has traveled before. The trip is a precursor to a plan which NASA hopes will eventually lead to an eventual landing on the moon, and the establishment of a lunar base and settlement.
• And finally, me, heading into this busy work week like….
