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[In an extremely nurse Dana Evans voice] Good Morning, Portland! Ooof! It was 37 degrees this morning! Colder than it’s been, I tell ya. The weather ahead this weekend and early next week is lookin’ surprisingly stable: high around 60; lows around 40. Friday afternoon will be particularly nice (hey maybe you should take a walk to Revolution Hall and see a comedy show), and Saturday looks cloudy but dry for all the No Kings protests. Don’t put your booties away just yet—here’s the news!
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• First reported on Reddit! Portland Fire & Rescue responded to a fire at Tom’s Restaurant & Bar in Southeast Portland last night. A PF&R information officer told the Mercury this morning that a fire in the grill area of the kitchen worked its way up the flue and onto the roof. Firefighters were able to “knock down” the flare up quickly, and keep it from spreading to other areas of the building. Somewhat miraculously—or perhaps speaking the the endurance of Tom’s sheer, rugged existence as a dive bar—”the bar reopened shortly after the incident.” Reached by phone this morning, Tom’s staff confirmed that the diner side is closed “indefinitely,” until it can be restored, but they have opened the bar side for breakfast service and are currently serving what can be cooked in a fryer.
• Speaking of hot, the tear gas forecast for protests at Portland’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) facility just got a whole lot spicier. A court above the two Oregon judges who restricted federal agents from using tear gas or other chemicals outside the facility put temporary holds on those restrictions. Just like two lies makes a truth, a hold on a restriction means federal agents can continue to gas protesters, reporters, and the poor apartment building located kitty corner to their facility (the elementary school already moved out).
• The new order shouldn’t impact any planned Portland assemblies for No Kings protests this weekend, as all those protests are being held at areas far from the building: Tom McCall Waterfront Park, the Oregon Convention Center, and plenty of prominent corners around the city, like East Burnside and 28th, NE 15th and Multnomah, NE 42nd and Fremont (find other grassroots protests at nokings.org).
• Sarah Maywalt had been curling at her local club in Beaverton for years. Then Trump took office for a second term. Now, she says the sport she grew to love turned its back on her, in response to federal mandates from the Trump administration that prohibit trans women and girls from competing in women’s sports. Read the whole story from news editor Courtney Vaughn.
• The New York Times published another piece about Portland on Wednesday. This time, the country’s major newspaper of record declares life in the Rose City is “weird but good.” Oh, Melissa Locker wrote this. She writes for us too. Nice to see an article by someone who actually lives here.
• Reviews are coming in about Lindy West’s new book, Adult Braces: Driving Myself Sane, and we’re seeing a lot of critic sins in play, such as 1) synopsis of plot and packaged hot takes to share with your friends, or 2) I wish the thing had been like this instead of what it was. As of Wednesday, the thing getting as much or MORE chatter than the book itself is this Slate profile by Scaachi Koul, which doesn’t seem particularly negative, but which earned a legitimately rage-filled response from West’s husband Ahamefule Oluo, who many Mercury readers will remember because they are also famous. Also in this story: former PICA artistic director and curator Roya Amirsoleymani, West and Oluo’s girlfriend. The New York Times Modern Love interview with West is actually extremely sweet. The only strong assessment I can offer—at this time—is that I can’t find West’s prepandemic essay about riding the bus—Lindy, if you have a google alert set for your name, it was named something like “your ass will be sitting.” Do you still have that somewhere?
• Mercury Music Picks, your weekly live music and music happenings resource, is proud to say, yes, there are a host of shows worth your time, money, energy, and hearing loss this week. The Bay Area Shortiez are in town to slam you down, Bend’s Larry & His Flask are back at it after seven years, and you better believe there’s some experimental bagpipes that need listening to!
• Today’s installment of our ongoing fin dom relationship with the Portland Trail Blazers comes courtesy of ProPublica:
IN NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL NEWS:
• How is President Trump’s war on Iran going? Well, despite obvious lies claiming that Iran is “begging for a deal,” Iran rejected America’s ceasefire proposal on Wednesday via an announcment on its state-controlled media. TBH it’s not super clear who would even have the authority and willingness to negotiate, reports AP.
• AP also reports that with the war in Iran is drawing attention from Russia’s invasion of Ukraine (now entering its fifth year, although people in Ukraine would argue its been going on longer), and an emboldened Kremlin has stepped up its ambitions and deadly attacks.
•To the surprise of… checks notes… no one, Trump’s plan to deploy ICE agents to some of the nation’s busiest airports is not helping long TSA wait times—like, at all. As you recall, there’s currently a partial government shutdown in which Democrats are refusing to fund the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) unless significant legal restraints are applied immigration agents who have a nasty habit of murdering innocent people. According to an analysis of wait times at the busiest airports, Trump’s sketchy plan is definitely not working, with travelers at Houston’s George Bush Intercontinental Airport waiting on average more than 4 hours (!) to get through security. Meanwhile an estimated 480 TSA agents—who have gone unpaid during the shutdown—have quit their jobs. Never one to back down from a stupid idea, Trump is doubling down and is suggesting sending in another wildly unqualified group to assist TSA: the National Guard. But that’s Trump for you… always focused on keeping Americans safer. (Sorry for all the sarcasm dripping off that sentence—can someone please grab a mop?) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
In other vomitous news, deeply unfunny Boomer Bill Maher has been announced as the next winner of the formerly prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Much is being made about Maher’s hot/cold relationship with Trump: The comedian has cheered the administration’s cruel/deadly immigration policies (the “mass removal of stone cold criminals”) while also offering at one point to pay $5 million to the charity of the president’s choice if he could prove he was not “the spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan.” However, Maher’s “comedy” has also included using the n-word (2017), disparaged Muslims (2014), compared mentally challenged children to dogs (2001), transphobic rants (2017), platformed right wing influencers like Milo Yiannopoulos (2017), and he has repeatedly criticized critical race theory while appropriating the word “woke”— the Black-coined word for racial justice—as a pejorative (like, all the freaking time). I suppose Maher’s excessive and dense right wing rants overrules his occasional Trump insult. Maybe we should be thankful that Trump’s Kennedy Center didn’t choose Joe Rogan. WSH
• In conclusion, I couldn’t decide if I should send you into Thursday to become a dog that looks sort of like a paralysis demon and be an orange cat: the entire problem. You can have both!
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