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What you do with your money is nobody’s business, but what the government does with your money is everyone’s business. 

At a time of year when parents across the nation get suckered into splurging on pricey, short-lived toys (sorry, but your kid is never gonna learn to play that keyboard and there’s a good chance that Easy-Bake Oven will burn your house down), we set out to see which public agencies and city bureaus received the biggest, coolest, and most expensive toys—thanks to you and your tax dollars. 

While these agencies may have been blessed with many of the toys on their wish lists, we know austerity measures are coming. The Portland mayor’s office recently offered a budget preview that reveals city bureaus will likely need to cut another 5 percent from their budgets in the upcoming fiscal year. If that sounds like a bone dry way of explaining the city’s money sitch, imagine if you already had to cancel all your streaming services and lower your grocery bill last year, and now you have to cut even more expenses, to the point where you’re considering cancelling your internet service and just stealing the shoddy WiFi signal from that coffee shop down the street.

And though the government shopping sprees may be coming to an end for now, let’s take stock of some big-ticket toys, tools, and trucks that taxpayers recently bought for our public agencies. Show this to your kids to explain why “Santa” had to scale back this year.

Portland Police Bureau

Body cameras

What they are: small video cameras roughly the size of a credit card that clip onto officers’ uniforms. In December 2023, Portland City Council authorized police to spend up to $10 million on body-worn cameras over the next five years. The end-of-year purchase was a bit of an impulse buy. The council approved the expense in an effort to save the bureau $1.5 million by approving a contract with camera manufacturer Axon before the new year. This feels like the equivalent of springing for a new washer and dryer during a Presidents Day sale because the deal is too good to pass up. 

Estimated cost: $10 million

Portland Police Bureau

Drones

What they are: small, aerial cameras also known as unmanned aircraft systems, which record video and images from the vantage point of a bird or an insect buzzing above your head. PPB started using drones in 2023 as part of a pilot program. This year, the City Council coughed up nearly $100,000 for the bureau to buy more devices. Police mainly use them to help get images at major crime and crash scenes. 

The bureau says the high-flying cameras allow officers to “monitor critical incidents from a distance, assist with search and rescue, and provide evidence of crimes.” Recently, PPB has deployed drones at crisis scenes involving uncooperative, potentially dangerous subjects, to try to peer into windows or gain a view of other hard-to-reach spaces. Police swear they’re not using drones for any type of facial recognition efforts. 

Estimated cost: $166,000

Portland Police Bureau

Crowd control weapons; armor

What it is: tear gas, riot shields, and impact munitions. Earlier this year, the Portland Police Bureau revived its crowd control specialists, formerly called the Rapid Response Team. Crowd control officers responded to large-scale protests over the spring at Portland State University and now, the bureau is preparing for demonstrations and potentially violent protests following the November election. The city didn’t skimp on PPB’s shopping budget, authorizing $1.1 million for the purchase of 100 shields; 350 tear gas canisters; 350 kinetic impact projectiles; 300 impact munitions with chemical irritants; 100 flash-bang incendiary devices, and munitions training. 

Note: Since they’re spending your tax money, all of these weapons will be used on you, dear readers… which gives new meaning to the phrase, “You get what you pay for.”

Estimated cost: $1.1 million

TriMet

Articulated transit bus,
AKA “bendy bus”

What it is: a long, 60-person public transit bus with an accordion-like middle section, allowing the long bus to maneuver around tight roads while carrying more passengers. The buses are diesel-powered and allow TriMet to expand capacity on select, highly-used routes. Frequent service and more seats = more fentanyl traces, baby!

Estimated cost: $935,000

Portland Fire & Rescue

Tractor-drawn aerial truck

What it is: a big-ass fire engine with superpowers. Tractor-drawn aerial trucks give firefighters extra maneuverability and include an aerial ladder for reaching tall and tight spaces. They also have independent rear steering, so the trailer attached to the truck can be angled even when the cab isn’t. These behemoths typically range in length from 55 to 65 feet. 

Estimated cost: $1.7 million

Portland Bureau of Transportation

Street sweeper

What it is: A heavy-duty truck that sweeps and vacuums. The latest street sweeper purchase by PBOT was a 2023 Elgin Eagle. The model boasts a conveyor that won’t jam, a variable height lift system and a high-capacity dump feature (paging Sir Mix-a-Lot!) As the manufacturer notes, the Eagle sweeper can maintain highway speeds and ensures “dumping is a breeze.”

Estimated cost: $424,500 

Portland Water Bureau

Snow plow 

What it is: A SnowDogg plow attachment for heavy-duty trucks that can scoop snow and debris off roads. You probably thought PBOT was the only bureau to come to our rescue during a snowstorm. Not so! The Water Bureau is also responsible for keeping roads clear during crummy weather, while responding to water main breaks and other crises. The Water Bureau recently bought two plow attachments and even opted for discontinued 2019 models to save some dough. The latest purchases weren’t meant for general use around the city. Instead they’re mostly meant to secure watersheds, clear access paths to the Water Bureau’s own facilities, and other bureau-specific responses—but still, it never hurts to have more of these puppies available during the next snowpocalypse.

Estimated cost: $5,600