Holiday Debauchery Guide 2021
’Tis the season for indulgence—and what’s better to indulge in than taking care of yourself and the people around you? Nothing!
Even perpetual-optimists can admit that the vibes have been bad for the past two years (Five years? Ten years? Since Reagan introduced trickle-down economics? I’m not an optimist.) Cleanse those vibes—and the accommodating quarantine stank—with a crystal-infused Wellness Candle from local, women-owned candle shop Bee Lucia. Each candle is poured with an intention in mind, like healing, love, or relaxation, and layered with a corresponding crystal. Plus, according to Bee Lucia, the candles are made with coconut oil, beeswax, and essential oils, making them hypoallergenic. If your gift recipient isn’t much of a crystal believer, they can still enjoy the layered scent, soot-free burn, and the intention you’re trying to give them through the candle—it’s the thought that counts!
Candles start at $14.95 for 4 oz. online and in-store at 1825 SE Franklin, Suite B
We all know at least one person who has been craning their neck and hunching over their work-from-home desk for the past 19 months. Please, for the sake of their spine, give them the gift of massage! Zen Garden in Lake Oswego boasts a full list of services, including deep tissue massage, a head and shoulders massage for those of us with “tech neck,” and a four hands massage where two massage therapist work simultaneously to knead your muscles until you feel like a relaxed puddle of primordial soup. Plus, all of Zen Garden’s massage therapists are fully vaccinated, so your gift recipient can feel more confident hanging out in a room with them for 60 to 90 minutes. Fully vaccinated clients may take off their masks once lying down, and everyone else must stay masked the entire time.
Gift certificates can be ordered over the phone or at one of Zen Garden’s two locations.
When I think of luxury, I think of gorging on crusty bread with rich cheese and eating grapes off the stem like a wealthy royal in the Middle Ages. Aristocratic time travel isn’t possible, but personal charcuterie boxes from Little Bee can do the trick. Little Bee curates selections of locally sourced cheese, crackers, jams, and seasonal fruit and packages them into photo-worthy boxes complete with a bow and compostable utensils. The boxes can be customized according to personal preference, allergies, and dietary restrictions (AKA yes, they have vegan cheese!). Little Bee’s charcuterie offerings are pretty popular and commonly sell out during the holidays, so keeping an eye on their Instagram is a good way to be notified when they restock seasonal orders.
“Personal stash” boxes start at $15 and can be ordered online.
While Portland has had an unseasonably warm fall so far, it’s still cold enough to trigger those aches and pains in our knees and fingers. Fortunately, there’s a salve for that! Sunriver Botanicals makes a topical CBD salve made with coconut oil, beeswax, and lavender essential oils that soothes localized pain, muscle cramps, and itchy skin. There are a number of CBD slaves on the market, but Sunriver Botanicals’ formula is unique because it offers a strength range from 600 mg for mild body aches to 2400 mg for severe and chronic pain. According to reviews, a little goes a long way!
Sunriver Botanicals’ CBD salve starts at $60 for 2 oz.
Being well means taking care of your brain, not just your bod! If you’re looking for a gift for someone who isn’t into the typical self-care fare, how about offering them an opportunity to dig into their creative side and learn something new? Assembly PDX offers a variety of in-person and live online crafting classes like intro to embroidery, leather wallet making, resin art, and watercolor workshops. Classes are catered toward beginning crafters and are open to creatives of all ages (though you get to decide whether you want your child to be set loose with a wood burning tool). Classes average $50 to $60 dollars per person depending on the materials provided.
A list of Assembly’s workshops can be found on their website.
If your purse strings are a little tight this year—or you’re not embracing the capitalistic holiday vibes—remember that the gift of time is also luxurious. Carving out time to spend together, offering your time to someone who deserves a break from their responsibilities, or giving yourself permission to spend a day doing jack shit are all phenomenal gifts!