Local queer website QPDX has posted an interesting account of getting heckled outside Gaycation, one of Holocene's most popular gay dance nights, for being trans.

The short story of the heated interaction is by Nik Rapier. Check it out:

We were standing outside Holocene, cooling down from that overheated dance floor, when you reeled out the door, steps unsteady and eyes full of malice. After looking our little group over, you apparently decided that we didn’t pass your definition of acceptable gender presentations, because you stopped right in front of us and let fly some of the more transphobic comments I’ve heard in a drunken slur.

“Pick a fucking gender,” you said, “pick a fucking gender! And fucking stick with it!”

Dramatically grabbing your crotch, you graphically demonstrated the depth of your conviction. “Penis!” Pointing to each of us in turn, you emphatically blurted “Vagina!” and then grabbed your crotch again, yelling “Penis! Fucking pick a gender!”

With this charming display of transphobic pyrotechnics, you rather effectively gained the attention of not only my group but also the entire line waiting to get into the Holocene, startling us into silence. You finally reeled off down the street, a drunken fag in women’s shoes, a small-minded and fearful man. And I know what you’re afraid of: you’re afraid of me. You’re terrified of me — a queer, genderqueer transman who doesn’t often pass, who is comfortable in gay and queer spaces, and who comes equipped with a cunt. Well guess what? I come with a penis, too. Several, in fact, varying in length, width, and color depending on the preference of those I am intimate with.

I know you’re threatened, scared, and act hateful because of it, but it really makes me wonder what kind of internalized homophobia you must live with on a daily basis. Are you even remotely happy in your life? Do you ever genuinely enjoy life without thinking about how you have to live up to someone else’s notions of what is socially acceptable? Do you ever go out and just dance without drinking, just letting the music lift you up, free you, let you breathe and be? Are you always so desperately unhappy?

It’s a funny thing: I’ve lived all up and down the west side of this country and the only place where I have consistently met with queer- and trans-phobia is Portland. I’ve lived here for the better part of six years now, and in that time I’ve been harassed on street corners and walking down the street just for being who I am and looking the way I do.

Read the rest of the whole story over at QPDX.