The 18th annual HUMP! Film Festival is coming! (lol) 

A brand new lineup of sexy, dirty, funny, kinky, hot, and weird short films will premiere at Revolution Hall on March 3, with showings every weekend through March 11. And tickets are ON SALE NOW! Why am I yelling? Because early-bird tickets are only available through December 31! Once the clock strikes 2023, prices will go up and HUMP! screenings will start selling out like they always do so GO GO GO BUY BUY BUY!

What's that? You'd like me to calm down and tell you a few more enticing details? How's this: The official 2023 HUMP! Film Festival lineup IS HERE!

A few weeks ago several staffers at the Mercury's sister publication, the Stranger, gathered at a secret location in Seattle to eat bagels, sip mimosas, and watch hours and hours and hours of porn. We watched well over 100 HUMP! submissions, in fact, to ensure the all-new selection is as hot and entertaining as humanly possible.

It was all such a blur: quicksand, glitter, a surprisingly massive amount of food, a stapler, a shower curtain, one of those large plastic syringe-like thingies, mustard, a car jack being used in ways I could never imagine, and more mustard! So which movies made the cut? 

Cream-filled and ready to eat. Courtesy of The Cannoli Brothers
Here's the official list, each one a brightly shining horny little diamond:
Feast of Fantasy
For those who love to play dress up and live their most surrealist erotic lives.
Get Ready with Betty
Drag queen and makeup artist extraordinaire, Betty Wetter’s step-by-step tutorial on the perfect look for any occasion!
The Cannoli Brothers
They may not be real brothers, but their cannoli are anything but fake.
Ménage à Fromage
Come for the orgy, stay for the cheese platter!
Crimson Cruising
Hot summer. Hot cars. Hot bodies. Hot Sex.
State of Mind
BDSM can be a pathway to spiritual transformation when practiced in ways that are safe, sane, and consensual. For this to happen, the union between Dom and sub must be built on a solid foundation of trust, honesty, and communication.
Demon Seed
This is a story of a young mage, Damian Dragon, taking a risk and building a bond with the Demon, Kemono Dragon. The young mage summons the demon for his commitment, protection, power, and, most of all, to bear his child.
Grace. is an ode to abcde Flash’s understanding of her cycle and herself. By accepting each phase for what it is, she’s transformed this never-ending experience of highs and lows into a most reliable routine: a cycle that, like clockwork, she knows she can count on.
A Deep Undersanding
Two different talents share their sinking feelings about acting in quicksand fetish movies.
For Your Health
Take you meds, obey, repeat. Let the caretaker open you, it’s good for you.
No Translation
When a Translatina immigrant from Colombia meets a Transmasculine Brooklyn boy, they discover that their love goes beyond Spanish or English.
Set in a voluptuously 1,800th-century backdrop, Karla Lane and Marina Maree explore each other's luscious bodies.
Cum as You Are
Empowerment is fucking sexy.
Body Language
When two bodies merge, a common language is made. Hearts beat as one.
Two queer space cadets cruising the galaxy crash land on a strange planet. Things really go awry when the planet's inhabitants appear... insatiable.
Shadow Play
From scrotal screen to silver screen, Shadow Play brings two horny paper silhouettes to life.
It's Mr. Yamface!
Ever wonder how your dolls fucked?
Bloom Room
This playful and quirky film is sure to leave you in a good mood.
Color Me Wild
Welcome to the Neon Jungle. A space for psychedelic sexploration.
Ronald McBottoms for Some McDicken
American national treasure, Ronald, thought he was one of a kind—until now! When Ronald meets Ronald, worlds collide, and lust blossoms into a food-fight fiasco full of mustard and mayo... and we're lovin' it!
Two gal pals in the 1970s tune in to a world of technicolor television fantasies.
The Boy with the Tighty-Whities
This short film explores a young man's curiosity for fetish and kink, with a focus on tighty-whities and wedgies.
Score! Courtesy of Screen/Play