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I, Anonymous Blog

The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.

Feeling Flat

Sometimes I see nails and screws on the road, and I just look at them, hoping they'll end up in a tire. I make no effort to kick it off the road or pick it up. I may have had this consideration at one time in my life. When your world is walking and public transportation every where you go, sometimes carrying heavy groceries, I kinda give zero fucks about people in cars. Their cars that are speeding, plain loud, zero regard for my safety walking on the dirt because there is no sidewalk. I was with a friend driving once who swerved a tiny bit to some teens he thought was walking too much on the road. This happens. I probably care more for their inanimate object car more than the person, actually. See, people in cars give zero fucks about me in a crosswalk with the right of way as they're turning right. They give zero fucks about me crossing a street or walking in a parking lot, zooming by, ripping a turn to get ahead of me instead of waiting a minute for me to walk across. Why would I care about you?


You’re not and you’re fucking crazy

You don’t always get what you give back. It only takes a few people, snakes in the grass, to corrode belief that if you’re good to people all people will be good to you. I can’t think of a single thing, short of homicide, you haven’t accused me of. And the we talk and talk and talk and a day or two later you apologize. Well. Some things shouldn’t be forgiven. I gave you graciousness and accommodation. You’ve shown yourself; destroyed my career, my life and my family. How many days until you call me and say I’m sorry? What do you expect for me to say back? Now that you’ve got me on the edge of a cliff are you expecting me to relent and say you’re right? You’re not and you’re fucking crazy.


Deep Thoughts on driving fast.

Work is 9 miles as the crow flies. 18 miles by car, mostly highway. I've driven like I was told, 5 miles+ over the speed limit, pass on the left, herd mentality catch up to the cars in front of you, drive with the flow of traffic. I get home 3-5 minutes faster. I understand my lizard brain getting acclimated to a faster pace means if I drive slower, I will get impatient, maybe even angry. Mostly it is the sloping brow, the knuckle dragger who honks, or speeds up and drives around me aggressively, cutting around my car very close but for no other reason than to add a silent 'fuck you.' as they flip me off. I'm curious more than angry. Why must you speed up to get to the red light? Or speed up around me to hit your brakes, to catch up to stopped traffic? Why speed up around me only to ride your brakes around the on/off ramp? Your fuel consumption is lousy, the wear and tear on your breaks and engine is needless. I'm baffled that you think you're a good driver. You can't grasp simple mathematical concepts of speed, distance and time. You're a fucking moron, sadly this is most of the population. Before you leave a comment contesting this, think about when a slow driver lost their shit and started screaming or had a 'road rage' incident. Who else gets impatient and throws a temper tantrum? Whiny brats and fucking children, because they don't have the mental facilities and discipline to use their fucking brain. Frightening, most adults are just old children behind tons of steel trying to get somewhere 3-5 minutes faster. Like that red light up ahead as I coast to a stop right next to your stupid ass!


Fireworks

I grew up in a place where fireworks were and still is a tradition. On the 4th, let's say if there were 10 houses on a street, 6 of them would be blasting fireworks. That's on every street, in every city and town. Then when you get to NYE, the 4th is a joke compared to the display on this day. It's just loud all night with aerials and thousands strands Chinese firecrackers. The biggest ones saved for midnight. 50 little packs blasting up until then. The after math is smoke fog that you cannot see feet in front of you if you're trying to drive home. Oregonians complain over nothing in comparison.


Puzzled

I'm watching this jig saw puzzle being put together. I look at the table the pieces are being assembled on. I see all the grease finger and palm prints. I wonder about all the individual pieces and its histories. I think about all the playing cards in the casinos. What goes around, comes around. Imagine all the mixtures of DNA or prints on puzzle pieces or playing cards. If one of them were found at a homicide, there would be a few suspects to filter through.


Happy

I have never been less enthusiastic about waving our flag(even in protest or mockery) or blowing some shit up or watching some impotent little ball flare and bellow a little orange smoke, never.


A Mask is a Mask

How do you not know at this point? How do you walk up to Trimet and not know?
Btw, the Trimet provided masks are about 23 bucks a box. How does that compute for budget!
Think about that.
You exercise, though it's not helping for some of you, for a reason right?
Just fucking do it.
Btw, mask around your neck guy. When you came up to ask me a question if we have a product, your mask wasn't covering your nose or mouth, just to let you know. Although you came right up face to face to ask me. I didn't wanna be that overly paranoid person stepping back but I should've. How do you not know?
Btw, you group of 4 dudes shopping. Only one of you was actually shopping. The rest of you tagging along and bored. Morale support? Were you cheering your buddy? How do you not get it!


Which Way This Goes

An overweight man gets on, huffing and puffing. His mask is like how geniuses do it. Like it shows you pretend to care but also so off the cuff that you forget to use it for its purpose. Like to wear your mask around your neck, nose and mouth exposed. I don't know if this is pandemic talking or I'd normally feel anxiety? Of course, dudes gotta sit close to me. I keep thinking, huffing and puffing. Some liquid is leaking out his backpack. So he moves to sit right next to me, ignoring and oblivious to all signs. Some liquid is still leaking out his backpack. I guess his intelligence thought moving would stop leaking. He goes to get paper towels. A caring citizen. He wipes the 2 seats, but the ground is too low for his belly to bend. Tosses the garbage then sanitizes his hand. I forgot to tell you he had a 2 liter DIET Sprite open in his hand the entire time with the cap in his other hand. Mask still hanging off his neck, he starts to leave touching touch points on the way out. Purpose defeated with the disinfecting. Before he leaves, puts his bag on the ground to check what's leaking. He doesnt have time so he rushes out the door with his bag open. Timing is everything. In a pandemic or not. It is still comedy but in a moronic way. No wonder we are fucked as a society.


Laundry PSA

In my life of co-living and Laundromats, I have shared many laundry spaces. Today I waited a little longer than usual to grab my dry goods. "No big deal" in my mind, and assume my faux pas means less due to everyone not working or being retired largely in this zone. Maybe a half hour late and I walk in to see a topless man folding my laundry - folding it, bare hands, laundry, topless. He proceeds to ask me my name and my unit as I try not to just run away. It is one thing to move it to the side, or top of the machine, or whatever surface - folding is not caring, and laundry is a sensitive subject matter, old topless stranger manhandling my goods. Get your mitts off my knits - no shirt no lip service!


To the guy who harassed me in line at Tiny's

You, cis, white, entitled male were rude and abusive to the staff at Tiny's and you harassed complete strangers in line. Tall, white, light brown afro, pot belly and a dirty black Checkerboard Pizza T-shirt. Despite the fact that you say you work at a restaurant (yikes hope it's not Checkerboard) your time isn't more valuable than others. You are not entitled to the first spot in line. I appreciate Tiny's for offering complimentary coffee to the people who had to suffer this complete asshole's harassment this am. And if you run a local restaurant, do check your staff as they're behavior in and out of house is a direct reflection of you.


Now a Mandate, NOT!

You know how many folks aren't wearing masks. All up and around Trimet. Walking by the park, it's like party central and mask free, kids running a muck. There was a guy at the grocery store at the entrance reminding folks about masks, but you know what, on the inside some folks gallavanting around in daisies and lavender field, maskless, yet must go shopping. It's all leisure business now with absolutely no business in public but for being bored at home. I mean, what gives? It seems essentially a topic of function versus aesthetics. So some folks won't wear them because they don't think they can help reduce transmission? Well, you wear jackets for cold and rain. You wear hats and sunglasses for shade. I mean, you wear clothes, you get a tattoo, you have certain facial hair. But this becomes a vanity for most of these folks that refuse to wear them. So then masks ties into aesthetics so get your favorite sports team or some skull, or meme statement mask. If it's a breathing issue, the mask can be taken off when appropriate. It's this simple gesture of not wearing masks that proves to me time and time again that humanity sucks. We are not in this together. It's purely a selfish, ignorant, and unjust reason to ignore the mask. You don't have them? Well, Trimet is providing thousands of them daily that are being littered all over the streets sometimes without being worn. I mean, I don't whether to be disgusted, angry, or indifferent. No shirt, no shoes, no service!


Fighting for the wrong things

we've been directing our energy as a society toward the wrong things for the past ten years. Recently, or more before covid, we had a push for UBI. Why not instead of pushing for UBI, just backpack onto AOC's green new deal? You know, the deal that places an emphasis on accessible affordable housing for all? I think an aspect of UBI is also in the green new deal, but my imediate concern is just that we all need housing in America. For families who are able to afford paying market rate rent or a mortgage, good for you, but we need to ensure the most vulnerable of our society has stable affordable housing. Some families cant even afford a studio apartment rent rate, and really, the only housing safety net we have is public housing or section 8, which isn't offered to everyone who needs it. I believe everyone deserves a roof over thier head.


HB 4212 Eviction Relief

I understand that renters need protections from unfair evictions. I realize that we ALL have to take on some of the burden caused by Covid 19. However, allowing renters to remain rent-free, with no obligation to repay through September, and then to give until March 31st of 2021 to repay is the first shot fired in a war that will pit property rights vs. community rights. Why not require of renters some small gesture of good faith, even a minimum amount due that is reasonable? As a modest property owner, I can't possibly be expected to pay a mortgage without rental income. I can't pay for repairs without cash flow. This policy will result in lower standards of quality due to the lack of secure income or predictable income, with higher more stringent application requirements. It also provides more fuel for conservatives to attack the left.


Grab my hammer

you are so full of yourself to think that the reason we aren’t friends is because you had beef and blocked me. I unfollowed you because I didn’t want to see y’all plastering my feed with pics of my manipulative ex. your social media presence is so important to you, that you texted me first thing in the morning asking if I had unfollowed you. I explained why, but you threw a tantrum and peaced out.
I then deleted all of my social media accounts. I had enough distance from the ex and my feelings about everything that I reached out, wondering if we were cool. you responded by saying maybe the fact that I messaged someone from a different account after they block me is the reason people don’t like me.
I shouldn’t be surprised that you assumed that I had wronged you, but, you never blocked me I unfollowed you.
I don’t know why I tried to open that door, I definitely nailed it shut for a reason.


Not so human after all

I always challenged others to see just how far thier breaking point was. I wanted to see how much they really meant when they said they cared.
After years of stretching peoples will, I have found that everyone has a breaking point, but also that everyone is a hypocrite.
One person may be a bleeding heart activist for the environment, while at the same time they call poverty level families leeches to the system.
Some people claim to care about the disadvantaged but at the end of thd day they will always put themselves before others.
Some people cannot even see thier own privileges. Those people also stomp on the less fortunate, they mock them for thier misfortunes..
So whenever I see my fellow humans today, I know deep down inside they are truly cold and uncaring beings spreading a false image of empathy. It holds no true weight because its all an act. Fake. You are all fake.