New Portland is like when your parents joined Facebook.
"Oh look, what a quirky and fun place."
Spots one homeless person: "I didn't pay all this money moving here to have to look at the people my lifestyle tourism and selfish consumerist attitude displaced!"
They use the police like they're personalizing their reality feed.
Check PDX alerts lately. The calls are getting more and more vanilla by the day.
Someone called the cops because a kid was smoking a cigarette.
A tattooed man on a bmx "looked out of place".
What the fuck? You yuppie scumbags moved to this city and think your money will still protect you from reality. Guess what? This ain't the hills of San Diego. Portland is scummy, dirty, and gross. We like it that way.
Doesn't matter how many dumpster diving homeless folks you call the police on: you are not above the rest of us, and Portland is not your "safe space."
Welcome to the real world, jackass.