Oh, you’re quite a catch, Cloney McBeardo at a NE 28th bar. Surely you noticed the three women in line waiting to order, and must have decided you could wait no longer. You sidled in front of me to attempt to order first. Nice move. It would have been smooth if you had picked on anyone but me, who called you out on it. You claimed, “There are no lines at bars ‘in Portland!!'” I had no idea the line ambassador of all of PORTLAND was at the bar ready to lay down some knowledge on the first person to follow common-sense decorum! You were clearly shocked when I pushed back on your assertion. It’s hard to have your privilege checked, but you were in the wrong in the situation. I got served first, as I had waited in line like a goddamned adult, thanked you for the lesson in how to act “in Portland,” and walked away. The cutest part was how you tried to dog me from across the bar. No one is afraid of passive-aggressive man-children. I’m sure your parents told you that you were very special, but apparently they never told you to WAIT YOUR GODDAMNED TURN. —Anonymous
I, Anonymous
The Tale of Cloney McBeardo
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This happens a lot! People don’t know how to fucking act.
I’m glad to see I’m not the only person who doesn’t put up with this shit. I had a similar experience recently and the offender said “relax, what’s your hurry”. What’s MY hurry? she’s the one in so much of a hurry that she acts like she’s the queen of England or something. jeez. In the words of the great George Costanza “WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!”.
It was incorrect for the person to proclaim that there are no lines in Portland, because that’s just ridiculous. This is the only city I’ve been in where people DO wait in line for a drink. I think people just really like waiting in lines here. Whether its for a drink, for brunch, or for a donut.
But, while you’re all queuing up in a cute little line at the bar, I’m gonna go take that empty spot down a ways and probably order ahead of you. It’s a bar, that whole long counter is designed for multiple people to hang out, drink, and order drinks. Its been happening that way for many many years.
Ask almost any bartender and they will tell you they fucking HATE it when people line up. They can take two or three orders at once but when you’re lined up chatting with your friends or swiping right on anything with a pulse on Tinder you make it miserable for everyone. Fuck you, line formers. Belly up like you’ve been there before.
Some adult children were never taught how to behave in proper society.
must not have heard the term “ladies first”