You: “Ehhh… I’m bored with work. I’m going home to watch some porn.”
Me: “Oh, yes? Well, before you do, I would suggest watching this news report about a porn-watching guy who was attacked by a neighbor because he thought someone was being raped.”
You: “Okay… sure. I’ll watch it. You always seem to post very funny and memorable videos on your blog site.”
Me: “Why… thanks. That’s sweet.”
You: “No problem. Would you like to come to my house and watch porn with me?”
Me: “Wow… that’s flattering. However, as mentioned earlier, I really think you should watch this video first.”
You: “I said I would… you want to stop nagging me about it?”
Me: “WHOA, DUDE. I just figured you wouldn’t want to be stabbed by a three-foot sword—that’s all.”
You: [pause] “Maybe… maybe not. Let me take a look at your three-foot sword before I decide.”
Me: [pause] Let’s go watch some porn. WAIT… let me put on my “Burt Bacharach” sweatshirt.”
