Hopefully you are as happy to finally see the dawn of December as Dave Franco is to see himself in The Disaster Artist, a film that somehow manages to be uplifting and inspirational in a way that 2017 desperately needs. Which maybe says something about 2017 in that the story of Tommy Wiseau is the shining star atop our Christmas tree. But hey—that’s why we’re happy it’s December! 2017 is almost over, and there’s a lot of stuff we have to squeeze into a month’s worth of time. This weekend is a great start, with visits from one of the smartest comedians in the business, Joe Mande; Pere Ubu swings through; the ScanFair takes over the Rose Quarter; and if the Portland Night Market turning on the lights doesn’t get you up and out the house, Wake the Town sure as hell will. That’s not even a tenth of what’s on deck; hit the links below and load your plate accordingly.
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Friday, Dec 1
Joe Mande
Comedian and writer Joe Mande made a name for himself trolling celebrities and corporations on Twitter, but now that he’s denounced the platform, you’ll need to seek out his sharp tongue and relatable wit through other channels. His Netflix debut, Joe Mande’s Award-Winning Comedy Special, is a great place to start, as is his work on the brilliant NBC fantasy sitcom The Good Place, but why not get acquainted in person this weekend when he swings through Helium for a full slate of shows. CHIPP TERWILLIGER
7:30 pm, 10 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $22-33
The Most Wonderful Season
As a former choir nerd, I get giddy thinking of putting on festive evening wear and stepping out to hear gorgeous choral arrangements of new and traditional holiday songs. Starting the month of December off right, the Portland Gay Men’s Chorus returns for The Most Wonderful Season, a joyous holiday event that’ll see them perform seasonal selections that celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice and the New Year. Get excited for costumes, lights, dancing, and a few surprises. JENNI MOORE
8 pm, Newmark Theatre, $18-50
The Disaster Artist
Don’t come to The Disaster Artist looking for answers. James Franco’s film about the making of The Room probably won’t resolve your biggest questions about Tommy Wiseau, the writer/director/producer/star of that infamously bad 2003 movie. Rather than craft an exposé, Franco embraces Wiseau’s inscrutability while drawing a vivid emotional portrait. At first you think it’s going to be a sniggering, get-a-load-of-this-guy takedown, but Franco’s Wiseau—while enormously funny—is given surprising depth and complexity. Despite all the jokes it cracks at The Room’s expense, it eventually becomes clear that everyone involved in The Disaster Artist has deep affection for Wiseau’s weird, wretched movie. NED LANNAMANN
Various Theaters, see Movie Times for showtimes and locations.
Del McCoury Band
Del McCoury’s band is a well-oiled machine of precisely plucked strings and high lonesome vocals that should sound positively divine bouncing around the Aladdin Theater tonight. BEN SALMON
8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $39.50-42
Portland Night Market
The Industrial District is transformed into the kind of bustling, busy, brightly lit street market you see in movies where the director wants you to know you’re visiting a strange, magical place. Except said magical place is in Portland’s Industrial District for three nights, and features a multitude of Portland’s best makers and creators, as well as some of its best food, drink, and music, too.
4 pm, 100 SE Alder, free, all ages
From Smiths to Smithereens: Portland’s Tribute to ’80s College Rock
Tonight’s show features a handful of great and diverse Portland acts paying tribute to alternative rock’s forebears: heavyweights like the Smiths and the Smithereens (obviously), but hopefully also underrated icons of the era like the dBs, Let’s Active, and XTC. The show also benefits p:ear, an organization that pledges to form relationships with homeless and transitional youth through art and education. MORGAN TROPER
6 pm, Doug Fir, $15-18
Desi Comedy Fest: Portland Edition
The annual San Francisco comedy event hits the road for a nationwide tour, and the Portland stop includes stand-up sets from some of the comedy scene’s best Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, and Sri Lankan performers, including Neeraj Srinivasan, Mohanad Elshieky, Samson Koletkar, Richard Sarvate, Mona Shaikh, and more.
9:30 pm, Curious Comedy Theater, $25
The Grouch, Del the Funky Homosapien, DJ Fresh, DJ Abilities
A pair of Bay Area-hailing hip-hop legends make their way to the Star Theater stage for the Portland stop on the “How the Grouch Stole Christmas” tour. World class producers DJ Fresh and DJ Abilities lend their support to the proceedings.
9 pm, Star Theater, $22
Scrooged
Richard Donner has a tendency to let the manic energy of his filmmaking slide into shrillness. Films that played as madcap hijinks on release (The Goonies, Lethal Weapon 2) are, on second viewing, just annoying noise. But 1988’s Scrooged—arguably the last great movie Donner made—is different. Rewatches reveal an underlying sweetness and patience it didn’t get credit for at the time—audiences and critics were likely distracted by its on-the-nose parodies of then-crass-but-now-quaint television programming and the evergreen joy of seeing Carol Kane swing a toaster like a mace. But Bill Murray’s expert blend of acid and schmaltz (along with the genius idea of making Bob Goldthwait into Bob Cratchit) turn what could have been a mean-spirited misfire of soured sentimentality into a Christmas gift that is both 100 percent of the decade that spawned it, and better than that decade deserved. BOBBY ROBERTS
9:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre
Bling Bling: Early 2Ks Hip-Hop Tribute
Tribute Night returns to Holocene, with DJ Ronin Roc serving up smorgasbord of early 2000’s rap gems from the likes Nelly, Ludacris, DMX, Lil Jon, Ja Rule, and more. Get nostalgic while dancing the night away to jams and accompanying visuals, and take advantage of the event’s free photo booth to help preserve the memories.
10 pm, Holocene, $10
Saturday, Dec 2
ScanFair
Trust me when I say the Scandinavians know how to do the holidays—which is why the annual ScanFair is such a holly-jolly blast. Eat your fill of Nordic delicacies such as aebleskiver, lefse, krumkake, Swedish meatballs, pickled herring, rice pudding, and lotsa COFFEE, you betcha! Plus expect tons of vendors, a Pippi Longstocking kids area, a meatball eating contest (!!!), and a very special visit from Joulupukki—the Finnish Santa Claus! Uff da, that’s a lot of fun and entertainment. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
10 am, Rose Quarter Memorial Coliseum, $7-17, all ages
Wake the Town
Wake the Town comes bearing gifts. For December, the monthly bass/hip-hop/reggae night features local standouts The Last Artful, Dodgr and Neill Von Tally, whose Bone Music collaboration turned heads earlier this year, and who are guaranteed to bring enough heat to dry out those rain-soaked galoshes you’ve got on. DIRK VANDERHART
9 pm, The Liquor Store
2017 Holiday Ale Festival
For the 22nd straight year, Pioneer Courthouse Square gets tented, heated, and filled with over 50 specialty winter ales from some of the best brewers in the country. Come down spread some holiday cheer while indulging in an array of delicious Belgians, barleywines, stouts, and sours you won’t find at the supermarket.
11 am, Pioneer Courthouse Square, $35
Pere Ubu, Diminished Men, Lithics
Born from the same Midwestern subversion of fellow musical weirdos Devo and the Waitresses, Pere Ubu has been making compelling, existential art-punk since 1976. Since then, the band’s gone through multiple lineup changes—lead singer David Thomas is the only original member remaining. But his presence, along with the distorted noises lining each melody, is what defines Pere Ubu’s avant-garde existence. Thomas sings with frenzied desperation, his voice an emotional current rippling throughout his whole body during live performances. It’s impossible to hear the group’s early releases and not feel as though you’re listening to the source material for contemporary alt-rockers. But Pere Ubu hasn’t aged out—if their debut, The Modern Dance, were released today, it’d sound just as fresh and exciting as it did in 1978. EMMA BURKE
9 pm, Star Theater, $23-25
The English Beat, DJ Dr. Wood
The influential new wave, ska, and punk band out of Birmingham, England bring their energetic genre-hopping sound to the Aladdin stage for the Portland stop on a North American tour.
8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $35-40, all ages
Sugar Town Sno-Ball
We adore the semi-regular queer dance night, Sugar Town, which spins the most foot-stompingest classic soul. What could be better? The Sugar Town Sno-Ball: a semi-formal (or dress-to-impress) holiday party crammed with ’50s and ’60s R&B and ’70s soul, all spun by DJ Action Slacks and her special guest DJ Larsupreme! Ho-ho hit the floor! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
9 pm, The Spare Room, $10
A Perfect Circle
It’s tough to pinpoint what makes any Maynard James Keenan project so polarizing. His most popular creative vehicle, Tool, spawned a million pseudo-metalheads who probably had a hard time reconciling the band’s aggressive prog dalliances with Keenan’s emotional, nuanced vocals. When A Perfect Circle formed in 1999, it was billed both as a super-group, which it ostensibly was, and as something new, which was highly debatable. Despite the quality of the group’s 2000 debut, Mer de Noms, there was little to differentiate the music from Tool’s AEnima. A Perfect Circle recently released the lone single “The Doomed” to tease its as-yet-untitled forthcoming album. Some will probably hate the shit out of it—this first track includes strings, heavy metal flourishes, and xylophones—but that won’t stop thousands of fans from packing Memorial Coliseum. RYAN J. PRADO
8 pm, Rose Quarter Memorial Coliseum, $39-375, all ages
Bell Witch, Monarch, Usnea
Seattle duo Bell Witch crafts colossal funeral doom that’s as brooding and glum as a Pacific Northwest winter. The group dropped its self-titled demo in 2011, and most recently released Mirror Reaper, its grisliest work yet. The record’s format is unconventional, to say the least—it’s not broken up into tracks, and instead stretches across one epic, 83-minute-long journey of ambient ruin. It honors the band’s former drummer and vocalist, Adrian Guerra, who passed away in his sleep last year at the age of 35. There’s a heart-wrenching section of the album that incorporates some of his unused vocals from past releases. With Aerial Ruin’s Erik Moggridge providing guest vocals, Mirror Reaper is a fitting tribute to Guerra and Bell Witch’s most darkly beautiful composition yet. CERVANTE POPE
9 pm, Tonic Lounge, $10-13
PDXtreme Film Fest
’Sup gorehounds? Portland’s popular genre film festival, the PDXtreme Fest, has returned for a third year to treat audiences to a three-day glut of indie horror. There are guts, suspense, ill-advised amateur surgeries, and the devil, in all his many guises! So many devil’s guises this year! There are a few surprises and developments, too: First, PDXtreme has moved to the Laurelhurst Theater… to be closer to you! Mua ha ha. Second, there are even more features and shorts this year than in the past—61 total. The last surprise is likely mine alone, as I’m new to covering this festival: PDXtreme has some straight-up quality films! SUZETTE SMITH
Laurelhurst Theater, click here for titles and showtimes.
Skating Polly, Starcrawler, Skelevision
The Oklahoma-hailing “ugly pop” and rock trio spearheaded by the stepsister duo of Kelli Mayo and Peyton Bighorse headline an all-ages show in support their new EP, New Trick, which features contributions from Veruca Salt’s Louise Post and Nina Gordon.
6 pm, The Analog Cafe & Little Theater, $10-13, all ages
Mope Grooves, Charlie Moses, Mersky, Scorch
Evan “Maus” Mersky is one of Portland’s busiest behind-the-scenes players. He was an original member of Portland power pop band the Cry! and is an engineer at Red Lantern Studios, one of the city’s best and most affordable recording studios. With his eponymous project, Mersky is stepping into the spotlight for the first time. His debut EP is a collection of indie pop songs that bring to mind the hazy nonchalance of early Grandaddy, and predictably, it’s great. Also performing is Charlie Moses, whose new album, Figurine, sits at the unique intersection of jazz and singer/songwriter pop. This show serves as the tour kickoff for both artists. MORGAN TROPER
8 pm, The Know
Sylvan Esso
The rise of electro-pop acts like Odesza, Tycho, Chvrches, Purity Ring, and Sylvan Esso as ticket-selling powerhouses is one of the more interesting recent trends in the music business. Not because these bands are connecting with throngs of people—it’s no surprise that young folks dig electronic sounds plus catchy tunes—but because they’re all so darn likeable. Sylvan Esso pairs Nick Sanborn’s glitchy, burbling sounds with Amelia Meath’s warm voice and lively vocal melodies. Plus they keep it low-key on the personality/spectacle front—it’s not that bands have to be boring to be enjoyable, I’m just saying there’s obviously a huge market for danceable electro-pop without all the whomp and glitter of the Electric Daisy Carnival. BEN SALMON
8 pm, Crystal Ballroom, $27
Giants in the Trees, The Wild Body
Kris Novoselic’s latest band, Giants in the Trees, bring their blend of Pacific Northwest-rooted pop and indie rock back to the Fixin’ To stage.
9 pm, The Fixin’ To, $8
Gran Ritmos & Club Tropicana
Gran Ritmos and Club Tropicana join forces in an effort to pull you up from out of the depths of winter and into a bright and sunny paradise, with disco boogie, Latin house, and tropical bass sounds courtesy of 2TABS (Michael Bruce + Coast2c of Gran Ritmos) and Baby Mango and Jonny Guava (of Club Tropicana).
9 pm, Holocene, $5-7
White Christmas
Maybe consider doing something nice for once and take your grandmother to a Bing Crosby movie, you ungrateful, selfish little jackass.
1 pm, Hollywood Theatre
Sunday, Dec 3
SALES, Chaos Chaos
SALES has built steady buzz over the last couple of years with a series of small lo-fi releases, culminating in this year’s self-titled and self-released debut full-length. Lauren Morgan and Jordan Shih’s stripped-down arrangements layer drum loops and ambient electronics beneath the sort of restrained electric guitar work that would otherwise place them alongside bedroom-auteur peers like Frankie Cosmos and R.L. Kelly. The effect is endearing, if somewhat precious, but the Orlando laptop-pop duo manages to toe that line with assurance: Song titles like “Pope Is a Rockstar” and “Sorry Bro” suggest a band willing to embrace the goofy awkwardness of their aesthetic, and there’s even a post-ironic shout-out track at the end of the record for anyone who somehow missed the preceding 40-odd self-aware minutes. There’s nothing forced; the shtick is as unassuming as Morgan’s melodies, catchy if you let them sink in, and Shih’s beats, danceable if you feel like it. NATHAN TUCKER
8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $16-18, all ages
Suspiria (35mm)
Dario Argento is a sick man. He makes sick movies. They look like the sort of rancid fever dreams a sick brain would sweat out under slicked-up satin sheets. 1977’s Suspiria is the distillation of every twisted, nightmarish filmmaking fetish Argento’s ever had, poured straight into this lurid, glossy, beautifully disturbing masterpiece of giallo-inspired horror.
7 pm, NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium
André Watts & The Oregon Symphony
It’s fitting that this week’s Oregon Symphony concert coincides with Portland’s annual Scandinavian festival, as the four-piece program showcases composers from Scandinavia—and Finland, which some don’t consider part of Scandinavia. I suppose it’s really up to the Finns whether they are or not, but they definitely dominate this bill, with Joonas Kokkonen opening the affair with his stormy, wonderfully intriguing Symphonic Sketches. Next, Edvard Grieg’s fussy, overly romantic Piano Concerto is one of only a few large-scale orchestral works the Norwegian ever wrote; soloist André Watts will assuredly make Grieg’s melodrama work wonders. The titan among tonight’s composers, Finland’s Jean Sibelius, is represented by his relatively lightweight Valse Triste, which levels the playing field. And lastly, Danish composer Carl Nielsen’s meandering, fidgety Symphony No. 5 boasts two expansive movements that sound like an army of soldiers falling apart and coming together, learning from each musical sputter until the piece affirmatively concludes with balletic grace and power. Unsurprisingly, Sweden does not place; despite reasonable showings by Berwald, Alfvén, and others, the Swedes never produced a classical composer of Nielsen or Grieg’s stature, let alone Sibelius’. Which is fine—they turned out to be really good at pop music. NED LANNAMANN
7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $25-120, all ages
Cyrus Gengras, Verner Pantons, Plastic Cactus
Los Angeles-based singer/songwriter Cyrus Gengras brings his mellowed-out folk and rock sounds up the West Coast in support of his 2016 full-length, Fuckin’ Up My Name.
8 pm, The Know, $8
Woolen Men, Campfires, Fronjentress
The jangly, murky tunes of Campfires are the sound of waking up from a dream and humming a forgotten pop masterpiece that slips further away with every waking second. NED LANNAMANN
8 pm, Turn! Turn! Turn!, $5
Laurel Halo, Golden Retriever, Strategy
Ann Arbor-hailing/Berlin-based electronic musician Laurel Halo brings her unique blend of avant-pop and experimental techno to the Holocene stage in support of her acclaimed third album, Dust.
8:30 pm, Holocene, $15
Die Hard
Somewhere around a decade back, it became fashionable to answer “Die Hard” when asked “What’s your favorite Christmas movie?” People would laugh and go, “Yeah, I guess that counts.” But then—like bacon, unicorns, and LOLcats—the shit got played the fuck out, to the point where people now say “anything but fuckin’ Die Hard. God! Ugh!” Here’s the thing, though: No matter how many corny dipshits might vomit up this title as their go-to response? They’re not wrong. You could do a hell of a lot worse than arguably the single best action film ever made as your pick. So pull up a seat, kick off your shoes, and make some fists with your toes. Christmas has a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho. BOBBY ROBERTS
9:15 pm, Laurelhurst Theater, $3-4
Holiday Storytime with Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas
A special holiday installment of Kids’ Storytime featuring a reading of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! and a special appearance by the Grinch himself.
11 am, Powell’s City of Books, free, all ages
Bubble Cats, Ah God
Bubble Cats are not a joke band. Despite their adorable moniker and their Tumblr full of strange feline memes, the genre-bending Portland quartet is less concerned about the perception their artistic motif might give off, and more focused on their somewhat overlooked cache of up-tempo post-rock outbursts. RYAN J. PRADO
8 pm, Rontoms, free
Christmas in a Galaxy Far, Far Away
A two-day fundraiser from Torchsong Entertainment, with an opportunity to find yourself sipping on Star Wars inspired drinks, and a chance to get your picture taken with “Vader Claus,” and a storytime that features remixed versions of your favorite “Sithmas” tales. None of this is canon.
noon, Peninsula Odd Fellows Lodge, $5-8
Don’t forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!