OPENING

ADVENTURES OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE- Century Eastport 16

AMERICAN FRIEND-Northwest Film Center at Whitsell Auditorium

BETTER LIVING THROUGH CIRCUITRY- Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater

DISTANCE FORMULA TRAVELLING CINEMA-- Lola's at the Crystal Ballroom

FOREIGNER- Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater

GRASS- Cinema 21

HAMLET- Koin Center

PERFECT STORM- Broadway Metroplex

SHOWER- Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater

THE PATRIOT- Broadway Metroplex, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Eastgate, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Moreland Theater, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Westgate, Wilsonville

REPERTORY & REVIVAL

BIG KAHUNA- Laurelhurst Theater

EAST IS EAST- Laurelhurst Theater

FLINTSTONES IN VIVA ROCK VEGAS- Avalon Theatre

GHOST DOG: THE WAY OF THE SAMURAI- Bagdad Theater

LIFESTYLE: GROUP SEX IN THE SUBURBS- Clinton Street Theatre

MY DOG SKIP- Avalon Theatre

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT- Avalon Theatre

SMALL TIME CROOKS- Cinemagic

SUNSHINE- Koin Center

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY- Kennedy School Theatre

TIME CODE- Hollywood Theatre

VIRGIN SUICIDES- Movie House

MOVIES & EVENTS

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
A glossy, big-budget live action remake of the wonderful, humble, old cartoon. Put the gun down--just walk away. Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Vancouver Plaza, Washington Square Center, Wilsonville

The American Friend
Dennis Hopper as a smooth villain who convinces an art restorer to turn political assassin in West Germany. Directed by Wim Wenders. Northwest Film Center at Whitsell Auditorium

Batman
Admit it. You like looking at Micheal Keaton in tight, black spandex. It's ok, you can pretend you're going for Kim Basinger. Hollywood Theatre

Battlefield Earth
So John Travolta is this 10-foot-tall alien who wants every living human to take the Scientology test. When the humans balk, it's goodnight planet...until a few rebels rise up against his tyranny and fight back, that is. As anyone who has seen the trailer to this howling dog can attest, it might be time for Travolta to fade back into obscurity. Avalon Theatre, Mt. Hood Theater

Better Living Through Circuitry
A documentary of ravers, thier culture, and thier DJ gurus. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater

The Big Kahuna
Kahuna, starring Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito as a couple of crappy salesmen, is a play adaptation, which means that the filmmakers face the eternal challenge: how to make three people talking for 90 minutes into an actual movie. They fail. Despite about 20 excellent minutes toward the end, the movie's not worth the ride it takes to get to the point. (Sean Nelson) Laurelhurst Theater

Big Momma's House
Martin Lawrence is back, and he's got a big old prosthetic ass. Where do I sign? 82nd Avenue, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, HillTop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Vancouver Plaza, Washington Square Center

Boys and Girls
A completely generic title for an utterly insipid, totally unoriginal wet noodle of a movie. It's always sad when a film references the classic it wants to be, like when the characters in this travesty head out to see Sixteen Candles. The best part of the whole experience was when my girlfriend won a soundtrack CD at the screening for knowing that Freddie Prinze, Jr. was raised in Albuquerque, New Mexico. (Marc Mohan) Cinema 99, 82nd Avenue, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza

Chicken Run
Chicken Run is about chickens trying to escape. It is very funny and exciting; each chicken has a great sense of humor and is weird. Mel Gibson is the voice of Rocky, and Julia Sawalha (from Absolutely Fabulous) is Ginger. It all starts when Rocky the Chicken comes blasting over the fence and everybody thinks he can fly. The chickens ask him to teach them to fly but they don't make any progress. Something fishy is going on--Mrs. Tweedy (the farmer's wife) has a machine that lets the chickens go in and pies come out. They do whatever they can to resist becoming pies. (Sam Lachow & Maggie Brown) Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lake Twin Cinema, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, St. John's Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Westgate, Wilsonville

The Comedia Infantil
A young boy escapes the horrors of Mozambique's civil war to become leader to a group of street children. Proclaimed a healer by those around him, he finds his new popularity can't protect him from the war. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater

Croupier
Mike Hodges' 1998 masterpiece Croupier makes a convincing case that a sleazy and specialized profession-in this case, the guy who rolls the ball and collects the chips at a roulette table-is a perfect metaphor for existential malaise. Jack (the very beautiful Clive Owen), is a wannabe London novelist with nothing to write, and no money coming in. He reluctantly takes a job as a croupier/dealer at a casino, and almost instantly becomes addicted-not to gambling, but to watching people lose. Like nearly all great films, Croupier is great specifically because of its genre trappings. It's the inevitability factor, that gives the movie the power to be more than it seems. (Sean Nelson) Koin Center

Dinosaur
A heroic muddle of prehistory, computer animation, and talking monkeys, this entertaining flicker posits that dinosaurs might have survived if only they'd learned to work together. If you're the kind of person who wished Jurassic Park had dispensed with all that plot and character crap and just made with the giant reptiles, this might be the one for you. Century Eastport 16, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Tigard Joy, Washington Square Center

East is East
This decent little movie is set in the early '70s, in an English town called Salford. The great Om Puri plays a fanatical father married to a British woman (Linda Basset). They own a small chip shop and a small house, which is packed with seven rebellious kids. With the exception of one boy, all the children are headed one way (toward total assimilation of British culture), and the father the other (preservation of Pakistani values); all that's left is a big showdown in the end. A rather ordinary story, you will agree. But Puri saves the day by doing what he does best: deepening and extending his character's emotional and psychological range. (Charles Mudede) Laurelhurst Theater

Election
A budding cult classic, with Reese Witherspoon as the infuriatingly perfect high school student who runs for student body president and wrecks her teacher's (poor schlumpy Matthew Broderick) life in the process. Laurelhurst Theater

Erin Brockovich
Despite being directed by indie superstar Steven Soderbergh, Erin Brockovich is just what it is: another big-budget Hollywood film starring Julia Roberts. (Charles Mudede) Laurelhurst Theater

Fantasia 2000
An updated version of Walt Disney's cartoons set to classical music. Though it includes one original short (Mickey Mouse in the Sorcerer's Apprentice), this version relies more on picturesque visuals than drug-induced psychedelia. Yawn. Century Eastport 16, Division Street, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas
Fred, Wilma, Barney, and Betty: the early years. Yabba dabba don't bother. Avalon Theatre, Bagdad Theater

The Foreigner
Double bill with Comedia Infantil. When Koffi arrives in town, he is treated like crap by the townspeople, and befriends a homeless child, Vusi. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater

Frequency
A hodgepodge about time travel, ham-radio enthusiasm, the hazards of firefighting, baseball, mother love, and a father-son tag-team tracking down a nurse-butchering psychopath. This utterly confused film is a perfect example of Hollywood's shameless tendency to pillage the graveyard for the spare parts of its own shmaltzy genre. The result is a Frankenstein monster that bumbles and stumbles across the thin, emotional terrain of an Americanized (and therefore totally false) idea of nostalgia and redemption. (Rick Levin) 82nd Avenue, Tigard Cinemas

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai
When he was young, Ghost Dog (Forest Whitaker) was saved from a group of street thugs by Louie (John Tormey), a low-level Mafioso who just happened to be passing by. In thanks, Ghost Dog pledged to serve Louie for the rest of his life, as faithful to him as any ancient samurai was to his master. Director Jim Jarmusch infuses Ghost Dog with the deadpan humor of his earliest films. (Charles Mudede) Bagdad Theater, Laurelhurst Theater

Gladiator
Director Ridley Scott tramps through the standard gladiator movie plot like a tipsy party host, embracing each and every clichè like a dear old friend. War hero General Maximus (Russell Crowe) is stripped of his position by a scheming new Caesar (Joaquin Phoenix). Escaping too late to save his family, Maximus falls into the hands of a slaver (the late Oliver Reed), and with the help of a former love and his rough-but-likable gladiator pals, seeks his revenge by finding glory within the Coliseum. Scott then uses all the technical advantages of modern film making to make the details as lavish as possible. (Tom Spurgeon) Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Evergreen Parkway, HillTop, Lloyd Cinemas, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Tigard-Joy Theater, Wilsonville

Gone in 60 Seconds
You've seen the trailer, now see the remake of this obscure car-thief movie, which has been revamped and given the full Bruckheimer treatment (shame a bunch of good actors with massive paychecks so your crappy film has the patina of class). Big, red, fast, and loud--Kids'll love it! 82nd Avenue, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Wilsonville

Grass
A documentary about reefer and the dudes who try to keep us down. Narrated by the wicked righteous Woody Harrelson. See review this issue. Cinema 21

Groove
The characters are good, the writing is terrible, and the acting so much worse. But magically, like taking a little pill, the movie makes you wonder--what if you had fallen into the rave life?--and you catch yourself picking out your DJ moniker? The movie also lets you comfortably writhe in embarrassment and smirk at this silly culture. Writer/director Greg Harrison makes raves seductive with great music, romantically empty warehouses, and good drugs. He laughs pretty hard at the PLUR scene, though, knowing exactly how falsely fulfilling it is with its glitter, lollipops, and new VW Bugs. (PAULA GILOVICH) Koin Center

High Fidelity
A romantic comedy for guys. John Cusack plays the cynically introspective Rob Gordon, the owner of a small record store who, for various reasons, has shit luck with women. He's a jerk, basically, but he's not altogether clueless about his jerkiness. He struggles and obsesses and makes lists that he thinks define his life, but he's no closer to understanding women than he was in the fifth grade-which happens to be when he got dumped for the first time. Based on the popular novel of the same name. (Kathleen Wilson) Koin Center

The Kid
Bruce Willis stars with the most annoying, ugly little kid in the world. Oak Grove 8 Theater

Lawrence of Arabia
A restored director's cut of David Lean's sweeping epic about a lone British soldier who helps the Arab Bedouins fight against the Turks during WWI. With Peter O'Toole and Sir Alec Guinness, in 70mm. NO PRISONERS! TAKE NO PRISONERS! Kiggins Theater

The Lifestyle: Group Sex in the Suburbs

Mission: Impossible 2
I loved this movie. I loved the vertiginous helicopter swoops as Tom Cruise scales an impossibly sheer cliff to receive his impossible mission. I loved the profligate back flips in the fight choreography as he takes out villain after glass-jawed villain. I loved the preposterous motorcycle chase/ joust. I loved the human touches, too: the love triangle set against the backdrop of global intrigue; the lascivious slo-mo close-ups of Thandie Newton; the villain's Scots accent. But most of all, I loved the giddy sense of hyperbole and spectacle that coursed through the whole enterprise. It may not last too long after the credits roll, but pleasures like this aren't meant to. Otherwise, they wouldn't need to make part 3. (Sean Nelson) Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, HillTop, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Westgate, Wilsonville

My Dog Skip
The movie that had Good Morning America's Joel Siegel "sitting up and begging for more." Based on the late Willie Morris' coming-of-age memoir in a sleepy Mississippi town during World War II. Avalon Theatre

The Nomad Video film Festival 2000
This year's experimental video, film, and media festival is focusing on 12 "real and faux docs," short video films that explores the varied forms of documentary. The short works come from all around the world (including Eugene, with pickAxe production's RIP WTO N30) and use music, animation, borrowed imagery, and computer media to get the point across. Hollywood Theatre

The Patriot
Okay, remember that episode of The Simpsons where Mel Gibson remade Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and ended up impaling the President on a flagpole or some such silliness? Well, now he's gone and made a three-hour movie that's just like that, but without the irony or humor. It's set in a colonial America where slaves and owners get along pretty darn well, the British are a bunch of baby-killing, dog-kicking hooligans, and the one French guy around makes Gerard Depardieu sound like Peter Jennings (don't worry, there's no sign of the Native Americans in this heartwarming saga). Did I mention that the movie justifies killing wounded soldiers and teaching your kids to fight in war, as long as it's for something you really believe in? And have I gotten around the sheer pomposity and lack of anything resembling subtlety in the film? And another thing-hey, leggo, I'm not done yet! There's this part where Mel-- (Marc Mohan) Broadway Metroplex, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Eastgate, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Moreland Theater, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Westgate, Wilsonville

A Perfect Storm
Plot: Fishermen fight storm in hopes of getting home to some pussy. Protagonists: Marky Mark, Dr. Ross, Happy's competitor in Happy Gilmore, a few guys who are in every other movie, some no-names. Villains: Hurricane Grace, backed by two other vengeful storms. The money-grubbing boat owner. Perks: Awesome special effects-50-foot sea swells, water rescues, hurricane clouds etc. Downers: Canned dialogue, excessive machismo, totally stupid ending. Recommendation: If you're looking for a marijuana freakout, smoke some and head to this flick. If you're looking for an Academy Award Nominee--forget it. (Katie Shimer) Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lake Twin Cinema, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, St. John's Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Westgate, Wilsonville

Road Trip
Road Trip takes the 15-minute road-trip sequence from Animal House and expands it to feature length. In this case, "University of Ithaca" college student Josh (Breckin Meyer) accidentally mails his long-distance girlfriend Tiffany a videotape of him having sex with another woman, forcing him and a trio of college buddies to drive 1,800 miles to recover the tape and save his relationship. Relating the tale of this Odyssean quartet is Benny (Tom Green), the first unreliable narrator figure in what must be the first humanist teen sex comedy. Why "humanist"? This genre of comedy is generally predicated on fear and repulsion toward "the other." This movie parades a sea of creepy or scary archetypes past its travelers (the only one missing is a predatory homosexual)-and then allows them nuanced responses. The foot-fetishist and food molester are just creepy, but the large, horny black woman is allowed a dose of humanity, as is the likable, boner-bearing Grandpa. Josh's sidekick E. L. (Seann William Scott) discovers the joys of prostate stimulation, while dorky Kyle (DJ Qualls) wins over an all-black frat house with his dancing before bedding the aforementioned BBW. Repulsion executes a complicated dance with attraction, and we (and by we, I mean over sexed, underaged boys) emerge from the movie theater better people for it. (Eric Fredericksen) Century Eastport 16

Rules of Engagement
When a movie is titled Rules of Engagement, I'm there. Too bad this one implodes like a giant star after a promising start. The performances of Samuel L. Jackson, Tommy Lee Jones, Blair Underwood, Guy Pearce, and Anne Archer are sucked into the resulting black hole. In the end, we are left with nothing-absolutely nothing. (Charles Mudede) Avalon Theatre

Shaft
Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks? SHAFT! You damn right. Who is the man who would risk his neck for a brother-man? SHAFT! Right on. He's a complicated man, but no one understands him like his wooooo-man. JOHN SHAFT! Can you dig it? Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Eastgate, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Wilsonville

Shanghai Noon
Even the presence of Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson can't save this revisionist Western action comedy from the musty odor of the second-rate. Its plot unfolds like a fifth-generation Xerox. Some princess has to be saved from some clumpy, labor-driven railroad/mining concern, and the male leads must shed their current roles and embrace new, dimly-conceived identities. Wilson and his co-star are to be credited for occasionally rising above the material, but there are much better ways to spend a summer afternoon. (Tom Spurgeon) 82nd Avenue, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Tigard Joy, Vancouver Plaza, Washington Square Center

Shower
Entertaining if sometimes strained men-must-honor-their-fathers sentiment. It's the story of an ambitious young man who leaves for the Shenzen economic development region, leaving his father to run his bathhouse, along with a retarded brother, in dilapidated Beijing. Ungrateful son returns, tears are shed, lessons are learned, remakes surely await. (And aren't old men a hoot?!) Shower is the most Western-seeming of Chinese films I've seen in ages, and I hope it doesn't presage a sixth generation of mainland filmmakers trying to out-dazzle the likes of their Hong Kong counterparts. ( RAY PRIDE) Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater

Small Time Crooks
Woody Allen's 2000 entry is one of his unambitious, hoping-only-to-amuse movies. Too bad it's unoriginal, not very amusing, and a near waste of some of this world's greatest comic talent: Tracey Ullman, Elaine May, and Jon Lovitz. (Eric Fredericksen) Cinemagic

Sunshine
What says "sunshine" more perfectly than the history of Hungarian Jews in the 20th century? And who says "sunshine" more beautifully than Ralph Fiennes? The irrepressible Fiennes takes on three sequential roles in this epic (that's one hour per role) account of one poor family's travails through three generations of Europe's now famous anti-Semitic hi-jinx. A total downer. Koin Center

Superman
Despite the fact that Christopher Reeve is obviously TOTALLY GAY, we're still watching Lois chase him around the world (did you really think he was "changing his clothes" in that phone booth?) Help carry on the tradition. Hollywood Theatre

There's Something About Mary
Ben Stiller stars as the archetypal high school dork who grows up to be an archetypal grown-up dork, still pining for his high school sweetheart Mary (Cameron Diaz). Unable to move on with his life, he vows to track her down with the help of shady insurance claims investigator Matt Dillon, who also falls for her omnidirectional charms. In the paws of the Farrelly brothers this film becomes a plethora of jokes aimed at the homo, animal, geriatric-not to mention physically and mentally disabled-communities, ladled over a bland Hollywood story. It's obvious the Farrelly brothers (creators of Dumb and Dumber) are proud as a peacock over their "anti-PC" image, but I can't help but feel it's pretty goddamn cowardly to make fun of the handicapped, and then distance themselves from the joke by putting it in the mouth of the film's "villain." (Wm. Steven Humphrey) Kennedy School Theatre

The Tigger Movie
From the fever dreams of Christopher Robin comes this movie about a maniac tigger who gets into all kinds of trouble. Kennedy School Theatre

Time Code
The screen is cut into quadrants. Four films on one screen. No editing. Story takes place in Hollywood; is about Hollywood. No script. Cast wears synchronized digital watches. Fortunately, the experiment is founded on a formidable story-the four films unfolding simultaneously onscreen are all facets of one large narrative, dealing with the quotidian emotional reality of show biz folk. (Paula Gilovich) Hollywood Theatre, Laurelhurst Theater

Titan A.E.
A new animated feature from the Bluth studios. The Earth has been blown to shit, and it's up to a cocky, smart-mouthed teenager to find a spaceship filled with survivors and lead them to a new Earth (presumably one that doesn't have fuck-wit cartoons like this one). Voice characterizations by Matt Damon, Drew Barrymore and ... Tone Loc?!? Waitasecond, we take it all back! Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Vancouver Plaza, Washington Square Center

Titus
Movie based on the early, violent play by William Shakespeare, with plenty of scenery chewed by Anthony Hopkins and Jessica Lange. Cinemagic

U-571
One of the most important turning points in World War II was the Allied capture of the German code machine Enigma. U-571 is an attempt to show us modern folks what this dramatic event must have been like. The only thing not historically accurate is the damn story. A British destroyer was responsible for capturing the machine, not Matthew McConaughey! Better you should watch Das Boot. (Juan-Carlos Rodriguez) Avalon Theatre, Bagdad Theater, Hollywood Theatre, Kennedy School Theatre, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission Theater, Mt. Hood Theater

The Virgin Suicides
The most consistent element of The Virgin Suicides is a steady stream of images that echo the feminine-hygiene commercials of the 1970s. Considering the material-five teenage sisters growing up in a repressive home and headed for funerals rather than graduations-the lightness of touch is surprising. But to juxtapose suicide with buoyant innocence might be uniquely appropriate; if the film has a message, it seems to be that a mythologized purity of youth can't survive into adulthood. (Monica Drake) Movie House

Where the Heart Is
Attention Wal-Mart shoppers! Natalie Portman is giving birth on aisle 3! Hollywood Theatre

Swingers rejoice! The Lifestyle explores the creepy and divine inside Long Island sex clubs. See review this issue. Clinton Street Theatre

Me, Myself and Irene
When is Jim Carrey going to grow up and be a man? One of the best movie comedians when he's in the right project, Carrey is in danger of succumbing to Robin Williams Syndrome. For those without a Merck Manual nearby, that's a severe case of reality dissociation. This sickness describes a comic unable or unwilling to appear real. Constantly shielded by the gauzy mask of "goofiness," said comedian is trapped in a realm of total artificiality, in which he can't even say hello without a blend of caustic irony and grim mugging. This dire state of his health is relevant to Me, Myself & Irene. It's Fight Club lite, with all the dangerous ideas reduced to revenge comedy, and its radical rage homogenized. Carrey, who is a great physical actor, and is occasionally very funny in this movie, succumbs to the temptation to rely on the ghastliness of his face rather than the sincerity of his feelings. If he continues to insist on appearing in such roles without bothering to learn how to act them, between him and me, it's splitsville. (D.K. Holm) Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Westgate, Wilsonville