Along Came a Spider
Along Came a Spider is a prequel to Kiss the Girls. Morgan Freeman plays Dr. Alex Cross, a detective who deals with the most psychotic white men in America. Though Kiss the Girls is the better of the two thrillers, I still enjoyed Along Came a Spider because Morgan Freeman is Morgan Freeman. Evergreen Parkway, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Wilsonville, 82nd Avenue, City Center 12, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Washington Square Center

Angel Eyes
Jennifer Lopez stars as a Chicago cop ("Stop, or my publicist will shoot!") whose life is saved by a mysterious stud who seems eerily familiar. 82nd Avenue, Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Sherwood 10, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Westgate, Wilsonville

* Ann Arbor Film Festival Tour
Spotlighting short works shot on 16 mm, the Ann Arbor Fest is great opportunity to see animated and avant garde work from aspiring filmmakers. Northwest Film Center at Whitsell Auditorium

* Before Night Falls
The real-life story of Cuban writer Reynaldo Arenas, from his childhood in Cuba, to joining Fidel Castro's revolutionaries, to later being persecuted for homosexuality. A politcal film which centers on one man's loneliness. Laurelhurst Theater

* Best In Show
Christopher Guest's latest with Eugene Levy follows several dog owners on their quest for the blue ribbon at the 2000 Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show. A well-executed, ridiculous little film lovingly mining ridiculous little people's ridiculous little lives. Kennedy School Theatre

* Bike-In Theatre
Hey! Hop on your bicycles and ride in to the P.S. What? house-llery (1968 SW 5th) for two new Sunday afternoon films. This edition showcases movies by Portland filmmaker Alan Langdon. First, check out The Quest for Eggwoman, a 30-minute documentary about Brazilian love, except instead of a person, the love is for Eggman, who is this egg-shaped saltshaker. Even kitchen utilities get lonely, you know? Next, watch The Poet, based on a story by Herman Hesse. If you're metaphysical to the gills after the Dalai Lama Brouhaha, don't fret: this film keeps it real by playing out like a DOS video game (i.e., ">Go North"). Also, Rubin & Ed might screen for reals this time. P.S. What?

* Blow
Blow is Hollywood all the way to the bank. But despite all its predictability--a young man (Johnny Depp) rises to the top of the international drug trade and then falls to the bottom of the prison system--its portrayal of Mexicans, Central Americans, and middle America is unexpectedly sympathetic. Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Vancouver Plaza , Wilsonville

* Boomerangs
This flick is about a group of less than likeable people, who go to a party, drink about fifty wine coolers, and realize how much they all dislike each other. It's a sort of inverted Big Chill. Actor Luke Hollywood is adorable, and does an impressive acting job, especially in the scene where he and the cat called Baby Jesus both wear party hats. Cool Portland bands like Awesome and Hockenkeit crank out the soundtrack. (Katie Shimer) Hollywood Theatre

Bread and Roses
In this film by Ken Loach, two Latina sisters work as cleaners in a downtown office building, and fight for the right to unionize. Laurelhurst Theater

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones is a cow. She desires a boyfriend, so she sets her sights on the office cad (Hugh Grant), and then moans when he dumps her. Why do we keep coming back to these romantic comedies? Is it that we secretly hope the Jerk will change into a Good Guy so we can justify our bad choices in life? Is the office cad actually a misunderstood prince? Does this ever happen in real life? Fuck no. And I've got a long line of sisters who can back me up on that: the very same sisters who'll be standing next to me in the ticket line when the next romantic comedy comes along. (Kathleen Wilson) 82nd Avenue, Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Moreland Theater, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Sherwood 10, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Wilsonville

* Caddyshack
Chevy Chase, Bill Murray and Rodney Dangerfield star in this searing docudrama of class subterfuge, and animal (groundhog) rights. Laurelhurst Theater

* Calle 54
There is very little to compare the Buena Vista Social Club with Calle 54, although that's the first impulse since both films document the unsung history of Cuban music. In Calle 54, however, the past and present of Latin jazz are celebrated naturalistically, with consecutive performances by 13 jazz masters, filmed simply. Such faith in the subject matter left very little need for talk in this film--the musicians aren't forced into mythologizing themselves. Director Fernando Trueba displays a beautiful concern for humility in Calle 54. His narration is spare, so he never gets overentangled in his subject. Though the film slips from unstable black and white into full, shocking color, the filmmaking remains reverent and observational, allowing for all the movie's rhythms to be born of the music. Tito Puente, Bebo Valdés and his son Chucho, Jerry Gonzàlez, Eliane Elías--all give mesmerizing performances. (Paula Gilovich) Koin Center

* The Center of the World
Richard (Peter Sarsgaard), an Internet millionaire, hires Florence (Molly Parker), a stripper, to accompany him for a weekend in Las Vegas "to get to know you better," he says. She scoffs, but agrees, adding the following conditions: no talk about feelings, no kissing on the mouth, no penetration, separate rooms, and all contact shall be confined to between the hours of 10 pm and 2 am. What ensues is a bold, graphic, often hard-to-watch examination of what passes for love among the ruins of prosperity. See review this issue. Cinema 21

Chocolat
Today I'm not weak. The film critic in me has control over my emotions; it can and will repress my wolflike desire to fill this review with hungry words that praise the celestial beauty of Juliette Binoche. That said, the movie itself is unremarkable, and has absolutely nothing new to offer. (Charles Mudede) Cinema 99, Koin Center, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Tigard-Joy Theater

* The City of Lost Children
Hands down, one of the most visually stunning, heartbreaking, surreal films ever made. Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro's (Delicatessen) compelling, sympathetic tale of a little girl named Miette (and other scraggly orphans) who must face a nightmarish world of creepy adults and frightening villains who have lost the ability to dream. A must-see on the big screen, especially if you're slightly tipsy. Mission Theater

Crocodile Dundee In Los Angeles
Crocodile Dundee winds up in LA, gets in a couple of pickles, gets out, and goes home. Nobody gets hurt, nobody dies. If you paid money to see it you won't feel cheated, because one would only pay to see this if they were seeking dependable entertainment. 82nd Avenue, Cinema 99, Division Street, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Sherwood 10, Vancouver Plaza , Washington Square Center

* Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Legendary warrior Chow Yun Fat can never declare his love for fellow martial-arts expert Michelle Yeoh. Instead, he entrusts her with Green Destiny, his nearly magical sword. But in the dark of night a hooded thief steals it, which leads to a fight held mostly in midair. An attempt to wed emotionally reticent drama with the exhilarating freedom of Hong Kong-genre filmmaking, but director Ang Lee can't quite pull off the combination; for too long a time, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's shifting gears only jam. The film finds its rhythm and earns the accolades it received once it leaves the stars behind and gives its heart over to the young and engaging Zhang Ziyi, as the aristocratic daughter of privilege who opts instead for the dangerous yet thrilling occupation of thief. (Bruce Reid) City Center 12, Koin Center, Washington Square Center

Driven
A race car movie guilty of tantalizing, but not satisfying the prurient interest. With Sylvester Stallone AND Burt Reynolds. 82nd Avenue, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Hilltop, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Vancouver Plaza , Washington Square Center, Wilsonville

Drugstore Cowboy
Matt Dillon, Kelly Lynch and Heather Graham knock over drugstores and glamorize addiction in this cuddly film by Gus Van Sant. Fifth Avenue Cinemas

Enemy at the Gates
This film by Jean-Jacques Annaud (Seven Years in Tibet) tells a story of two men in love with the same woman, set against a backdrop of international conflict. The action scenes are great, concentrating mostly on a game of wits and nerves between Vassily and an opposing sniper, a German aristocrat (Ed Harris) called in to squelch the popular Vassily. The only trouble is, the alternating love story sequences are utterly boring. (D.K. Holm) Avalon, Kiggins Theater, Mt. Hood Theater

Exit Wounds
Exit Wounds tells the story of how Steven Seagal, with the help of rapper DMX, cleans up a corrupt police precinct one bad cop, and unattended jelly donut at a time. Steven Seagal has had a tough time in recent years with his rampant pot belly and poor box office performances. He's lost a bit of weight for this one, though; he's healthier, younger looking, his flexibility is once again bordering upon functional and there is a lot of chemistry between he and his onscreen partner. Unfortunately for DMX, however, the chemistry between Steven Seagal and any actor will always result in the organic compound that I like to refer to as shit, and really that's no fun to watch at all. (Kudzai Mudede) Avalon, Kiggins Theater, Mt. Hood Theater

* Festival of Portland Animation
Hot-shit animators from Will Vinton and Flying Rhinoceros team up for this jam-packed fest of the best in local animation. See review this issue. Clinton Street Theatre

Finding Forrester
A kid from the Bronx excels at both basketball and composition, befriends a hermit writer, undergoes a crisis from which the writer must extract him, thereby helping the writer overcome his own reclusive, blah blah blah. (Barley Blair) Edgefield Powerstation

* Flat Mass Media
Mostly bands tonight, but go for the films of Portland filmmaker Slickerhat, too. He does use some computer-assisted graphics, but mostly his stuff is animation mixed with DV, and it is fuh-nee. Watch little plastic military guys fly through the sky, a tub of meat cook and feed itself to an unsuspecting bystander, a scientist get an alien implant in his eye, and (my personal favorite) two boys mocking America's perception of Eastern European, avant-garde art. (Julianne Shepherd) P.S. What?

The Golden Bowl
The Golden Bowl is, in part, a drama of manners, and Merchant Ivory's production moves neatly upon the joints and hinges of a repressed society. But the filmmakers seem to think that a well-appointed costume drama with the weight of Henry James behind it doesn't need any creative help to succeed, so the neatness is plodding. People enter rooms, whisper to one another, make out passionately behind closed doors while holding lit candles, and glare portentously at photographs--but the movie remains too damp to make a spark. Fox Tower 10

* Himalaya
Himalaya is a groundbreaking, genuine portrait of the Dolpo region of Nepal. The story revolves around Tinle, an old chief who loses his eldest son. What follows is a mesmerizing adventure that evokes the forces of ancestral strife and nature at its most treacherous. Says director Eric Valli: "This film is a love story, a love story between this place, these people, and me. It's very simple." (Kudzai Mudede) Fox Tower 10

* The House of Mirth
British director Terence Davies' The House of Mirth, starring Gillian Anderson and Dan Aykroyd, adapts Edith Wharton's 1905 novel about New York high society--the tragic story of a beautiful young woman looking to marry a rich husband and finding herself torn between her need for financial security and her desire for personal integrity. Koin Center

* In the Mood for Love
Tired of Meg Ryan damsel-in-distress love stories? Directed by Wong Kar-wai (Fallen Angels), an achingly beautiful film about two neighbors in 1960 Hong Kong whose spouses are having affairs with each other. Like cinematic Kara sutra, the scenes unfold slowly but with mesmerizing charm. In spite of their smoldering lust for each other, the two jilted spouses try to refrain from falling into the same trap of lust and betrayal as their spouses have. In one simultaneously yin-funny and painful-yang scene, the two act out scenarios in which they imagine their own spouses carrying on with their affair and mocking them behind their backs. (Phil Busse) Laurelhurst Theater

Joe Dirt
David Spade plays a radio DJ searching for his white trash parents. Kid Rock is in this movie. You're not going to see it, are you? Didn't think so. Cinema 99, Koin Center, Movies on TV, Vancouver Plaza

A Knight's Tale
Closer in spirit to the video game Joust than to the Chaucer book from which it takes its name, this Heath Ledger vehicle makes ample use of '70s anthem rock and other anachronisms to create a really long, boring teenager movie. Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower 10, Hilltop, Lake Twin Cinema, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Sherwood 10, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Westgate, Wilsonville

* The Luzhin Defence
I can think of no filmmaker (with the possible exception of the Brothers Quay) who could successfully transfer The Defense--Vladimir Nabokov's third and most cerebral Russian novel--from text into moving, speaking images. So how was the Dutch director Marleen Gorris able to make a decent film out of Nabokov's least cinematic book? By not making a film about the book. The movie is about eternal love, the book is about the limits of art. The movie ends with an accidental death, the book ends with a suicide. The movie is focused on the body of a woman, the book rarely leaves the mind of a madman. Those who love Nabokov's novels, and are outraged when filmmakers fail to capture the master's intellectual essence on film, must do their best to avoid this film. But those who want to watch an atmospheric film about love, sunlight, and beautiful Italian lakes will not be disappointed. (Charles Mudede) Fox Tower 10

Manchild Unmasked
Manchild Unmasked is a two-year-in-the-making, collaborative documentary by Portlanders Ted Jackson and Justin Calloway, plus Angela C. Foster. It's about Calloway, who forms a pop band (the Manchild 4, including Halo Bender Ralf Youtz, Heavy Johnson Trio's Eli Johnson, and Mandarin's Paul Johnson) based on his performance art character, who has a big stuffed babyhead, smells like rotten fish, and pastes bologna onto public telephones. When he realizes he cannot make money off his shtick (or go Top 40 with his band), he joins a hard rock band called Mistress (including Made for TV Movie's Tanya Smith, Swords Project's Jeff Gardner, and ex-Distance Formula Andrew Dickson). The problem with Calloway's plan is that he painfully, absolutely cannot sing, yet he wants to make a million bucks on his music. Despite cameos by lots of interesting Portlanders and excellent, organic use of Digital Video, the subject himself is kind of boring. Calloway wants to make money off his freakishness, but you get the feeling he's just trying to be a freak, rather than being inherently freaky--the downfall of all bad performance artists. (Julianne Shepherd) Hollywood Theatre

* Memento
Memento has a lot of starch in it; the film sticks with you for days as you rehearse it over and over in your mind. It's also a movie so good that you almost fear a critical backlash against it. You come out of it feeling almost resentful at how good it is, and given that almost everyone is an aspiring filmmaker these days, this resentment is unvarnished jealousy. But this reviewer is pure of spirit, or at least spite: I may have seen a better film so far this year than Memento, but if I have, I've forgotten it. (D.K. Holm) Century Eastport 16, City Center 12, Fox Tower 10, Lloyd Cinemas

The Mexican
This movie was never meant to be a singular entity: It feels like two movies that have been forcefully welded together. The first of these movies is The Mexican; it features Brad Pitt, an antique gun, and the mob. It is vaguely interesting and Brad Pitt is very handsome. Secondly, there is what I will call National Lampoon's Seventh Circle of Hell, it stars Julia Roberts, a green V.W., and a sensitive hitman. It is a disgrace and Julia Roberts' performance is criminal. (Kudzai Mudede) Avalon

The Mummy Returns
The first 30 minutes of this film are excruciating; the rest is better, thanks mostly to the appearance of John Hannah, but writer/director Stephen Sommers gets trumped by a ceaseless parade of god-awful digital effects. Digital mummy, digital scarabs, digital scorpions, digital armies, digital waterfall, digital river, digital dirigible... even the city of London is digital. It's not the worst summer movie ever, it's just that by being only not that good, it manages to seem terrible. 82nd Avenue, Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Sherwood 10, St. John's Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Westgate, Wilsonville

* O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Set in Depression-era Mississippi, George Clooney stars as Everett Ulysses McGill, a suave and well-groomed petty criminal doing hard time on a chain gang. Shackled to Pete (John Turturro) and Delmar (Tim Blake Nelson), he convinces them to join him in escaping by promising to split a fortune in buried treasure with them. (Andy Spletzer) Century Eastport 16, City Center 12, Fox Tower 10, Westgate

On and Off the Res' with Charlie Hill
Director Sandy Osawa will be on hand for the screening of her documentary about Native American comedian Charlie Hill, who cheerfully sends up the reservation stereotype. Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater

* Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
While looking for his stolen bike, Pee-Wee travels to the desert, Texas and Hollywood before finally getting arrested for masturbating in a Florida porno house. Fifth Avenue Cinemas

Pollock
Another attempt from the film industry to mine the romantic lie of Bohemian life. This is actor Ed Harris' directorial debut (he also stars), and seems too hurried to establish the iconic events of painter Jackson Pollock's life--see Pollock urinate in Peggy Guggenheim's fireplace, see Pollock overturn the Thanksgiving table, see Pollock accidentally discover drip painting--instead of letting any of these moments achieve any natural resolution. Cinemagic

Scream
Kevin Williamson wrote this parody of horror flicks (starring Courtney Cox, and the dork from the "1-800-Dial-ATT" commercials) before going on to write the even more horrific Dawson's Creek. Fifth Avenue Cinemas

Shrek
With fart and poop jokes aplenty, this computer animation flick is like a little boy's dream come true. Mike Myers puts on his Irish accent as the misunderstood Ogre Shrek, and Eddie Murphy ceaselessly yaks as his over-zealous, donkey sidekick. The most horrible actress in the world, Cameron Diaz, succeeds in making her character an inflamed, bloody ear sore that one would rather see squished than find true love and happiness. I found this movie kinda cute, but pretty annoying, while my boyfriend was doubled over in hysterics. Dads, take your sons, but be prepared for a lot of tooting and snickering afterwards. (Katie Shimer) Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lake Twin Cinema, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Sherwood 10, St. John's Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Westgate, Wilsonville

Someone Like You
If cuteness becomes a commodity, Ashley Judd will become an enormous, publicly-traded, multinational corporation. Please think twice before you go see this film. Edgefield Powerstation, Mission Theater

Spy Kids
Fellow earthlings, I regret to inform you that even now as we speak, it is too late. Spy Kids is headed towards us like a juggernaut and only the childless have means of escaping. When a brother and sister set out to rescue their parents (played by Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino)--and, subsequently, the world--from a malignant army of robotic children, they simultaneously deliver us straight into the jaws of humanity's most lethal foe, consumerism. The jet-packs are corporate fueled. The adrenaline rushes are company sponsored. And as we leave, the advertisers wave goodnight as they wish us, and especially the children, many many sweet McDreams. (Suzy Lafferty) Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Kiggins Theater, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Sherwood 10, Tigard-Joy Theater, Vancouver Plaza , Wilsonville

* State and Main
Alec Baldwin, William H. Macy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and David Paymer descend on a small Vermont town to make a movie, bringing their sophisticated mores with them. The town end is held down by Charles Durning, Clark Gregg, Ricky Jay, Patti LuPone, Matt Malloy, Rebecca Pidgeon, and Julia Stiles... Do you begin to see a problem here? The cast is as fixedly big-city as a traffic jam. Though to tell you the truth, I was laughing too hard to worry about small inaccuracies. David Mamet has said that he was thinking of Preston Sturges when he put this film together, and it's a worthy successor to the Master. (Barley Blair) Bagdad Theater, Laurelhurst Theater

The Tailor of Panama
Brit superspy Andy Oxnard (Pierce Brosnan) has been banished to Panama for overindulging his appetites. He sizes up the tense, complicated international scene at the Canal and finds himself a hapless ex-pat British tailor (Geoffrey Rush) to squeeze for information. Boorman's film is far too awkward and self-conscious to allow the audience to sink into spy fantasia; as a result, Brosnan's absurdly dashing spy becomes utterly grotesque, even sickening. (Evan Sult) Koin Center, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Washington Square Center

* This Is What Democracy Looks Like
This documentary fills the void left by both major media vessels and underground, activist film/zine testimonials in their coverage of the 1999 WTO protests. Well-edited from footage by 15 filmmakers, it profiles people who know exactly what they were protesting and lets the film speak for itself, as opposed to sweeping over the issue or bleating reactionarily. Ranging from exhilirating shots of solidarity (in the form of dancing, chanting, puppets, and music) to emotionally intense, undisputable police brutality on peaceful protesters, the most important issue here seems not to be the WTO itself, exactly-it's how quickly and unremorsefully Constitutional Rights can be snatched away. Excellently made, and an imperative watch for anyone who believes in human rights. (Julianne Shepherd) Laurelhurst Theater

Traffic
What with Hollywood throwing Oscars at director Steven Soderbergh, this film is perhaps the most over-hyped film of the year. By now, unless you've been hiding up Richard Gere's butt, you know the scoop: With jumpy camera movements and "edgy" editing, the film braids together three loosely connected stories about the--gasp--drug war. What you may not have heard, though, is that one of these three stories is about as challenging as an after-school special, and another a blatant Miami Vice rip-off. The only truly lasting quality of the film is Benicio Del Toro, whose unflinching performance explores the conflicts between loyalty and self-preservation. (Phil Busse) Avalon, Bagdad Theater, Kennedy School Theatre, Koin Center, Laurelhurst Theater, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Mission Theater

* Usual Suspects
Benicio takes acid and gives out tons of rim jobs in this film. Ha, ha. Just joking. Laurelhurst Theater

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
It's your standard story: Boy meets Chocolate Baron, Boy offends Chocolate Baron, Boy inherits Chocolate Factory. Bagdad Theater

* With a Friend Like Harry
This Hitchcockian thriller took France by storm last year, winning several Cesar awards (France's version of the Oscar). The blackest hue of comedy tints the tale of Harry (Sergi Lopez), a wealthy bon vivant with an unshakable affinity for Michel (Laurent Lucas). Harry, firm in his belief that Michel's child-strewn, moneyless life could be made more easy, begins to use his influence--and cash--to remove various obstacles to Michel's happiness. A new car here and a case of Champagne there escalates to a predictably absurd degree. The film is plain in comparison to its obvious inspiration, Hitchcock's oeuvre. But a deft French wit, and that oh-so-well-done trick of Euro-allegory (this film is about the difficulty of making art) rise like cream to the top of this film: The first taste is awfully sweet, even if it doesn't linger long. (Jamie Hook) Fox Tower 10

* You Can Count on Me
This is the sort of well-crafted, nutritious drama that gets critics burned out on adrenalized hoopla all tied up in knots. It's fine work, featuring Laura Linney's best performance since Congo (or maybe even before) as a single mom in the quaint burg of Scottsville. Her pothead drifter of a brother, also well played by Mark Ruffalo, shows up, spurring an eventual, earnest realization of the importance of family. Matthew Broderick has an amusing role as Linney's new boss, who says things like "I like paperwork." The latest product of the Culkin Family Factory Farm for Cuteness, Rory, plays the precocious eight-year-old. Playwright Kenneth Lonergan has, for his first film, created a movie for grown-ups that hardly ever surprises, but somehow that's OK. (Marc Mohan) Cinemagic