Mean Machine
dir. Skolnick
Opens Fri March 8
Fox Tower

It is sometimes difficult to remember--or even fathom--that Rocky was a groundbreaking story and winner of the 1976 Academy Award for Best Film. Since then, so many underdog sports movies have crowded the playing field (from Bad News Bears to Hoosiers) that little oxygen is left for anything fresh. Yet Barry Skolnick's debut film--the insipidly titled Mean Machine--shows that this type of movie can be fun, if not inventive.

After a drunken assault, former soccer superstar Danny (Snatch's Vinnie Jones) is thrown into jail. His notoriety quickly wins allies and enemies in the Big House--most notably, the warden who has fielded a semi-pro soccer team and wants Danny to coach them to a championship. Instead, Danny begins to train the inmates for a soccer match against the prison guards.

Like Bad News Bears, the inmates are doomed to lose, yet they're as adorable as they are troublesome. Setting this familiar story line in a prison, of course, ups the ante. Playing the requisite role of the loner superstar, for example, is the Monk, who reputedly has killed dozens. "They say he killed Hannibal Lecter," jokes one inmate.

However, the low-key slapstick of the film (enough guys were kicked in the nuts that I checked the credits to see if a sports cup company sponsored the film) debilitates any capacity for grown-up emotions. Like guys who believe that deep feelings can be expressed by chucking each other on the shoulder, virtues like camaraderie, loyalty, and pride are not handled with any real head or heart, but as if they're baseball cards to swap and trade.

Decidedly a guy's guy film, Mean Machine joins the ranks of Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, all sharing the star, Vinnie Jones. None of these films advance any real thoughts about maleness, but they shed humorous light on its stereotypes.