THURSDAY, JUNE 8
8:30 MTV 2006 MTV MOVIE AWARDS
Far more relevant than the Academy Awards, plus it’s hosted by Jessica Alba! (Pant! Pant! Woof! Ah-OOOH-GAH!)
10:00 NBC WINDFALL
Debut! Luke “90210” Perry hits the lottery, and discovers money can’t buy happiness. Yeah, but it apparently buys hair plugs.
FRIDAY, JUNE 9
9:00 SCI FI DOCTOR WHO
Season Finale! This newest incarnation of the British import finishes its campy (and fun!) first season.
9:30 MTV2 WHERE MY DOGS AT?
Called the Midnight Cowboy of animated cartoons about dogs in Hollywood. I’m sold!
SATURDAY, JUNE 10
9:00 SCI BLACK HOLE—Movie
(2006) A botched science experiment creates an artificial black hole that threatens to suck up the world (that is, if leading man Judd Nelson doesn’t suck it up first)!
SUNDAY, JUNE 11
9:00 HBO DEADWOOD
Season Premiere! The filthiest talkin’ Western EVER gets even dirtier-like this season. Yee-HAW!
10:00 HBO ENTOURAGE
Season Premiere! Vince’s Aquaman movie premieres—and somebody ends up smelling like fish.
MONDAY, JUNE 12
9:00 FOX HELL’S KITCHEN
Season Premiere! Chef Ramsay returns to hilariously torment another crew of wannabe cooks.
9:00 TNT THE CLOSER
Season Premiere! Check out the second season of this surprisingly likeable detective drama.
TUESDAY, JUNE 13
9:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST
Kathy learns that the road to fame should be re-titled “the road to humiliation.”
10:00 CBS TUESDAY NIGHT BOOK CLUB
Debut! It’s like Desperate Housewives except even more BORING.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 14
8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
The pack is thinned down from “the hilariously bad” to just “the bad.”
10:00 ABC COMMANDER IN CHIEF
Series Finale! Geena Davis hangs up her crown as America’s first woman president. (Maybe she should hang up the collagen implants as well?)