10th Portland Lesbian & Gay Film Festival

Films screen at Cinema 21. More info: Film on pg. 52, plgff.org.

AMNESIA See review this issue.

A TIME TO LEAVE

A young gay Parisian gets a tumor! (Like that Arnold Schwarzenegger joke! But gayer.)

DO I LOOK FAT?

A doc about gay men and eating disorders.

EATING OUT 2: SLOPPY SECONDS

American Idol's irksome Jim Verraros plays Kyle, who pretends to be straight to nab hottie Troy (Marco Dapper). But when Kyle's ex-boyfriend discovers the plot, he too pursues Troy—but as a fag! (Will Gardner) Director in attendance.

EL CALENTITO See review this issue.

FOLLOW MY VOICE: MUSIC FROM HEDWIG

A slew of indierockers come together to make a benefit compilation album featuring cover songs from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. (Courtney Ferguson) Screening features live performance by Holcombe Waller.

HERE I AM: COMING OUT IN A JEWISH SCHOOL

A doc about a ninth-grade lesbian who attempts to create a gay-straight alliance.

INFAMOUS See review this issue.

LOOKING FOR CHEYENNE

A drama about a Parisian teacher, sex, and politics.

THE MAN YOU HAD IN MIND

A look at five Oregon gay male couples. Director and documentary subjects in attendance.

MRS. STEVENS HEARS THE MERMAIDS SINGING

Finally! A movie about a 70-year-old lesbian poet!

PAPER DOLLS

A doc about "Filipinos in various stages of gender transition" living in Israel.

POSTER BOY

Political and sexual issues swarm around the gay son of a conservative senator.

PUCCINI FOR BEGINNERS

A "sophisticated screwball comedy" that centers on a New York bisexual love triangle.

RED DOORS

The Wongs are a Chinese American family in transition—the father just retired and attempts suicide and the middle daughter is (surprise!) coming out of the closet. Each of the characters' stories is TV-movie familiar, but Red Door is hardly unpleasant. (Scott Moore)

SMALL TOWN GAY BAR

The ups and downs of a little gay bar in rural Mississippi. It's the kind of place just walking in to get a beer is a politically charged act. (Amy Jenniges) Director in attendance.

H.P. LOVECRAFT FILM FESTIVAL

Films screen at the Hollywood Theatre. More info: Film on pg. 51, hplfilmfestival.com.

BEYOND DREAM'S DOOR

Lovecraft meets Nightmare on Elm Street!

CTHULHU!

"An unspeakable and unnamable horror" strikes.

DARK WATERS See Film, pg. 51.

DEAD BIRDS See Film, pg. 51.

FROM BEYOND

More unspeakable terror, indefinable horror, etc.

NIGHTMARES & DREAMSCAPES

Episodes from the television miniseries.

THE RELIC

Forgettable horror flick from 1997 ahoy!

SUBJECT TWO

A mad scientist kills his subject over and over again.

X: THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES

Roger Corman's 1963 film. Featuring Don Rickles!

America: From Freedom to Fascism
There are a lot of stupid people in this world, and some of those stupid people are going to see America: From Freedom to Fascism and buy into its half-baked, hole-ridden, libertarian rhetoric about the alleged illegality of the federal income tax. And that's a shame, if for no other reason than it'll be a small defeat for logic. (Scott Moore)

THE BOYNTON BEACH CLUB
An ensemble of retired geezers in a gated community in Florida try to get their joie de vivre back after their respective husbands and wives kick the bucket. More aptly titled Faces of Death, this unintentional horror movie stars a passel of vaguely familiar old cooters and it's probably the most disturbing "romantic comedy" I've seen all year. (Courtney Ferguson)

The Departed See review this issue.

Employee of the Month
Dane Cook is painfully unfunny. Jessica Simpson is an empty-headed hussy. This film was not screened for critics. Draw your own conclusions.

FILM SCHOOL: THE BUZZ ABOUT COFFEE: FROM BEAN TO BARTOP
Footage from Stumptown Coffee's trek to find the perfect coffee bean; a Too Much Coffee Man animated short; a coffee vocab lesson from Crema; footage from ex-Mercury editor Phil Busse's new film on baristas, and Jim Jarmusch's Coffee and Cigarettes. Phew.

Flyboys
I have two words for you: "zeppelin" and "explosion." Because a "zeppelin explosion" is the only good reason to see this WWI film about a group of US fighter pilots who joined the Lafayette Escadrille, a French air squadron specializing in dog fighting. (Courtney Ferguson)

The Guardian
While The Guardian might just be a lamer, wetter version of Top Gun, Ashton Kutcher looks a hell of a lot better with his shirt off then Tom Cruise ever did. (Courtney Ferguson)

Jesus Camp See review this issue.

The Last King of Scotland
See review this issue.

Lunacy See review this issue.

Mad Cowgirl
Therese (Sarah Lassez), a health inspector with a taste for steak, goes from jilted ex-girlfriend to murderous, incestuous nympho. Featuring Star Trek's Mr. Chekhov (Walter Koenig) as a shriveled-up, Jim Bakker-esque pastor. Watching Lassez give Chekhov a blowjob = no good at all. (Adam Gnade)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
The story arcs of horror prequels are at a disadvantage to their more linear counterparts—if for no other reason than the assumed knowledge of who dies and who doesn't. In its favor however, the horror prequel is given a lot more license to up the creep factor—providing, presumably, a palpable depth to the motivations of its typically (and in this case, literally) faceless killer. In the case of this prequel to the annoyingly stylized 2003 remake (wrap your head around that one), the filmmakers relegate the very purpose of a prequel—the elucidation of historical details—to its stale, post-Seven title sequence, and spend the rest of the movie basically remaking the remake. Which is fine, honestly—they do a pretty good job of it. Sure, they're still working within the music video cliche constructs of most contemporary Hollywood horror, but with an appropriately brutal hand that the other, more chickenshit remake wholly lacked. Oh, and just in case it isn't entirely obvious: everybody dies. (Zac Pennington)

The US vs. John Lennon
The problem with The US vs. John Lennon is that there's hardly a movie here; it's more a portrait of Lennon's activist leanings. And it doesn't help that there's already a powerful documentary portrait of the best Beatle on video store shelves—it's called Imagine, and it's a much better film than this one. (Chas Bowie)

The War Tapes
Shot in 2004, The War Tapes doesn't spin the facts. Instead, it gives digital cameras to three National Guardsmen and lets the war tell its story. We get the bloodthirsty and blindly patriotic, right along with the terrified, cynical, and those outwardly skeptical of putting their lives behind a war for oil. As bullets zip with neon tracers and homemade car bombs pop and thud in the distance, we're given a straight story, and the results aren't pretty—for either side. This is not easy watching. (Adam Gnade)