I wish that someone would make a movie that was 120 minutes of Mandy Moore describing an orgasm. There's a scene like that in Mandy's new movie, Because I Said So, in which Mandy co-stars with Diane Keaton. But the scene is way too short, even though it's the best one in the movie. It wasn't the best part because Mandy has anything extremely insightful to say on the subject (actually, the whole move is short on insight), but when you have a big fat lesbian crush on someone—like I do on Mandy Moore—you could listen to her make clichéd banter about orgasms all day long.

In Because I Said So, we watch the insanely overbearing—and I mean that in the most certifiably and annoying way—Diane Keaton attempt to find love for her relationship-challenged daughter, Milly (Mandy Moore, in all her beauty). While the idea is charming, Because I Said So fails to charm because of bad writing and comedy that relies heavily on the stupidity of both the characters and the audience. Plus, beyond Keaton's constant neurotic rambling and freakouts, she's constantly and inexplicably wearing a large black belt and a scarf tied around her neck—clearly, Keaton is either a witch or she's attempting to hold her body together with accessories. If she took the scarf off or didn't wear a turtleneck, her head might roll right off her body.

Okay, so true—Because I Said So might offer some truths about the relationships between mothers and daughters, but it also doesn't offer anything that everyone didn't already know. The smartest character of the film is, of course, my girl Mandy; she's what makes the movie bearable, and she even sings! (Melt). That said, unless you're carrying a torch for my Mandy, Because I Said So really isn't worth it.