Here’s the new trailer for New Moon, featuring insanely interesting commentary from Teen Wolf Taylor Lautner. (I love you, Tay-Tay!! Oh sweet Jesus… I can’t breathe.) As you will see, this sequel is a vast, maybe even VASTER, improvement over Twilight—primarily because this one features not one shirtless steroid addled were-teen… but like, a WHOLE GAGGLE! (Pant… pant… can someone PLEASE pass my inhaler?!?)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

One reply on “New <i>New Moon</i> Trailer: Pushin’ it to the Next Level, Guys!”

  1. I do NOT want to see Robert Pattison back in the area again until he learns how to bathe. He stunk to high heaven when he was in Portland last time. No thank you, never again.

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