Developed by EA Montreal
Now Available for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3
During a gunfight toward the end of Army of Two, one of the
game’s two masked protagonists casually asks the other who his favorite
member of the Wu-Tang Clan is. Normally this sort of dialogue would
earn the game a gold star, but here it’s just another example of
Army of Two‘s great concepts being undermined by the game’s
exceedingly average execution.
Army of Two‘s plot tells the story of two soldiers who sign
on with a private military contractor. It’s a good setup for a game,
but in practice the whole thing sounds like it was penned by a stoned
undergrad at UC Berkeley: The attempts at being topical come off as
hyper-liberal propaganda, the lesson about the dangers of war for
profit is insulting, and the two main characters are stereotypical frat
boys, right down to the constant, vaguely homoerotic fist pounds that
become their trademark.
Furthering the game’s slide into the realm of MTV-style
cliché is the weapon customization system. In theory, giving
players the ability to alter the appearance and function of their guns
is a great idea—but when the game actually gives you the option
to “pimp” an AK-47 by adding gold plating and embedded rubies, you can
almost hear the developers high-fiving Carson Daly in between keg
stands and wet T-shirt contests.
The most depressing part of the entire experience is that the game
obviously had a lot of potential: The title’s main selling point is an
excellent cooperative mode, and it really delivers. If you have a pal
and a case of beer, there’s a lot of fun to be had, despite the game’s
flaws. Those lonely souls without anyone to play with, though, will
find the seven-hour-long single-player campaign marred by an idiotic
computer-controlled partner with a tendency to get stuck behind bits of
scenery.
Hopefully, EA will fix Army of Two‘s issues in its inevitable
sequel—but until then, save your $60 for more entertaining
multiplayer fun. Like sex.