WHEN DVDs GO BAD
DVD commentaries offer focused insight into the artistic process. But, perhaps more importantly, they also offer a chance for us, the viewers, to listen to inane directors and actors ramble on about their atrocious films. For example:
Coyote Ugly (2000)–Jerry Bruckheimer’s Flashdance redux posits
the question: What happens when a simple(ton) Jersey girl moves to the big city
in pursuit of her dreams? The answer, apparently, is getting a job at a T&A
bar called Coyote Ugly, landing a dreamy guy from Australia, and becoming wildly
successful–all within a three month time frame! But as bad as the film may
be (and it is, indeed, very, very bad), the supplemental commentary by all the
principal ladies (“Coyotes,” as they are referred to in the film) is spectacularly
dunderheaded. Giggling, fawning, and… giggling their way through the
film, the ladies seem to be completely oblivious to the (very apparent) fact
that the film itself is a colossal piece of shit, making the commentary
alone worth the price of the rental. Choice commentary quote: “Ohmigod,
it was so…”
Battlefield Earth (2000)–After sitting through John Travolta’s futuristic
ode to Scientology once in its entirety, I sat back and attempted to witness
director Roger Christian’s commentary. Unfortunately, I was unable to hack it
as even witnessing the film all over again proved to be too daunting a task.
Still, perhaps you are a stronger person than I, and would find such an undertaking
entertaining. May God be with you. Choice commentary quote: “Jesus fucking
Christ!” by me, after watching the film.
Also recommended: Keeping the Faith (2000), with commentary
by director Edward Norton and screenwriter Stuart Blumberg; Gossip (2000),
with commentary by director Davis Guggenheim and actor James Marsden.