COMEDIAN/ACTOR PATTON OSWALT is coming to Portland this
weekend—not only to do standup, but also to present his new film,
Big Fan (see review this issue, and My, What a Busy Week!). Need some background? Here. You’re welcome.
The King of Queens (1998-2007)—Yes, this show
was on the air for NINE YEARS. And yes, I have seen EVERY SINGLE
EPISODE. Most of them TWICE. (A) It’s better than you think, so shut
up, and (B) Oswalt’s fantastic as Kevin James’ nerdy pal. Also, just
wondering: On a scale of one to 10, how gay does it make me if I point
out that Kevin James seems like he’d be a really good cuddler?
Ratatouille (2007)—Pixar. Patton Oswalt. You’re
still reading, like you need something more. YOU NEED NO MORE. Fuckin’
watch it already.
Dollhouse (2009)—The first season of Joss
Whedon’s sci-fi drama was pretty rocky, but the sixth episode, “Man on
the Street,” offered a glimpse of how excellent the show could
be—thanks in no small part to Oswalt’s funny, creepy, and
surprisingly affecting appearance.
Observe and Report (2009)—The funniest movie
this year that nobody saw, Observe and Report comes from the
brilliant Jody Hill (Eastbound & Down) and stars Seth Rogen
as a sociopath security guard. Oswalt’s got an excellent role as a
dickhead manager in a mall food court.
The Comedians of Comedy (2005)— Patton Oswalt.
Brian Posehn. Maria Bamford. Zach Galifianakis. Portland’s very own
Excalibur Comics. You’re still reading, like you need something more.
You aren’t going to get it. YOU NEED NO MORE. Fuckin’ watch it
already.
Blade: Trinity (2004)—Okay, so the Blade series
kinda shit the bed with this installment, which crammed together Wesley
Snipes, Ryan Reynolds, Jessica Biel, Parker Posey, and Dracula. Sadly,
this did not leave any room for Oswalt, who was killed .04 seconds
after he first appeared. If I were writer/director David S. Goyer, I
would’ve told Snipes to go screw himself and then I would’ve hired
Oswalt to play Blade. Also, I would have had the King of Queens play
Dracula. Also, it would have been called Blade II: Part II. It
would’ve been pretty sweet.
