Here’s a deleted scene from the hilarious Bridesmaids featuring Kristen Wiig and her jewelry store argument with a 16-year-old customer (Mia Rose Frampton). The main difference between this and the film version? It goes on for TEN MINUTES—ten gut busting minutes of the funniest snipey girl fight you’ll ever witness. Choice topics: blackheads, Iraq, saggy boobs, vaginas, wet eggs, “woman science,” ugliness, “Kids Jeopardy,” and JESUS! IT DOESN’T STOP!! (Thank god.)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=MfJcEziJcy4

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)