THE REVENANT “Oh, goddammit. I totally left the stove on, didnt I?”
  • THE REVENANT “Oh, goddammit. I totally left the stove on, didn’t I?”

Over the two and a half hours of The Revenant, Leonardo DiCaprio goes through a lot of stuff! Here’s a checklist to take to the theater!

In The Revenant, Leonardo DiCaprio is…

❑ buried alive!
❑ stabbed!
❑ shot at (with bullets)!
❑ shot at (with arrows)!
❑ mauled by a bear!
❑ mauled by a bear again, after the bear takes a break for a minute!
❑ forced to watch everyone he loves and/or remotely cares about get murdered!
❑ frozen!
❑ almost drowned while being battered by icy whitewater rapids!
❑ flung off a cliff!

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE! CONTINUE READING >>>

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.