It started as a bit between friends. Lucy Kennedy-Wong and Priscilla Wu both work downtown for the City of Portland—Kennedy-Wong long encouraged Wu to bike a trip or two more per week even if the commute from Wu’s Brentwood-Darlington spot seems long.
Naturally, the two joined Portland City Bike Bus, a program where city employees and downtown workers ride their bikes to their respective offices en masse, the pre-caffeinated peloton grooving through early morning streets. With Naked Hearts PDX acting as DJ with their colorful sound system, commonplace on most Bike Summer party rides. When a Bright Eyes song came on, Wu turned to Kennedy-Wong to say that her ex-boyfriend loved this song. Kennedy-Wong’s ex had too.
Related: Bright Eyes play Grand Lodge September 28, more info here.
The two laughed and started listing more and more bands shared by mysterious and moody boyfriends’ past: Future Islands, Radiohead, Animal Collective, Arcade Fire, Talking Heads, Neutral Milk Hotel, Ratatat. Thus a genre—and new bike ride—was born: Ex-Boyfriend Music.
“Indie or alternative [bands],” Wu explains. “[That] probably had one hit that made [them] somewhat mainstream, but that’s not what [the exes’] listened to. They hate [those] songs actually. It’s always about the deep cuts, the earlier stuff, the B-sides. Usually a male vocalist who isn’t conventionally good at singing or a great dancer. But he’s enthusiastic which [the exes’] feel make it more authentic.”
The duo continue riffing with one another, reminiscing about their youthful romances while working on a Spotify playlist. As their inside bit continued building, the two kept biking together, going on a few themed bike rides over the past two summers. With the deadline for the Bike Summer’s print calendar May deadline looming, they decided it would be fun to host their own ride, inviting friends in on the sly dig. Turns out, people like to share the highlights (and low lights) of their dating lives—many of which feature ex-boyfriend mixtapes, CD’s, and playlists.
“I was talking about [Ex-Boyfriend Music] with someone who’s a little older than me, and for them it was Pavement,” Wu says. “A different era, but it’s all the same. When we’re in our 20s and 30s, we’re kind of messy, we don’t know how to talk about feelings—so we [use] music. I feel like it’s really fun to share our ex-boyfriend stories with each other and be kind of irreverent about it. It’s not that deep anymore, but it’s also sweet because they were a huge part of us. All relationships [shape] who you are now, and I feel like we don’t often talk about our exes. It’s kind of like we’re over them and we move on. Unless you’re queer, then you see your ex every PRIDE at Twirl.”
“When you’re in early relationships figuring out how to communicate you probably couldn’t afford therapy yet, but you could afford a CD,” Wu says. “He’s secretly pining for someone that’s not you. It’s music that’s not about their current relationship, but some past relationship that has blown up. Deeply nostalgic.”
“Deeply nostalgic, deeply nostalgic,” Kennedy-Wong adds. “Probably a very young love that was not realized.”
“You’re brilliant,” Wu says, gassing Kennedy-Wong up.
“I’m just describing an actual person.”
The Ex-Boyfriend genre is first and foremost one of longing, though not limited to sad boy indie rock of the mid-’00s/early-2010s. They listed Courtney Barnett, the Knife, and Ani DiFranco. When Kennedy-Wong brings up how she makes sure everyone listens to Mitski, Wu shares how important it was seeing her at a small Central Eastside music venue that “isn’t around anymore,” referring to Mitski’s 2016 Analog Café show—a concert I also attended.
“I realized I’ve become the ex-boyfriend,” said Wu. “Generally, straight women get it right away. But when I talk to other queer people, sometimes they’re like, ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Then I ask more questions: Did you have a record player? Did you try wood carving at one point? Or, did you talk about opening a speakeasy with your friends? Did you invite someone to break up with you? Like come on! Now I’m the one telling people, ‘You just have to listen to the Jamila Woods album.’ No, not that one, this one.”
“And I’ll admit it,” Wu paused. “I still listen to the National. Sometimes I’m feeling like a sad boy, and that’s what I need.”
The ride became a summer project of sorts: Writing up copy for the Shift Calendar, chatting with friends who had led rides before, and making an email address for others to submit songs.
“Invest in [the] bit,” Kennedy-Wong says. “They’re all we can enjoy right now.”
While Wu tested out the route for the ride, taking detailed notes on intersection safety, Kennedy-Wong worked on activities like “Ex-Boyfriend Bingo” to be played at stops. Though almost anybody is invited, both ride leaders assure me they are happily in their current relationships.
“It’s fun to reminisce, it’s not just about how a boyfriend was weird, because we were also really weird,” Wu says. “But our exes should know that we are really over them.”
“Yeah, [the ride] is not about you,” Kennedy-Wong concludes. “Please don’t come actually. It would be really awkward.”
I Need My Girl and Other Ex-(Boy)friend Music Ride is on Sunday August 17. The ride starts 11 am at Laurelhurst Park, stoping at Irving Park, and ending at Speck’s Records & Tapes for some crate digging.
Related: Check out Cameron Crowell’s review of another Bike Summer event, the Pure Moods Ride.
