Dear People Who Enjoy Going Out and Having "Fun":

In case you haven't noticed, the Portland Mercury has junked our old, rickety online calendar, and replaced it with THE BEST EVENT CALENDAR IN PORTLAND. (Yes, you could call it "a step up.") It's called Things to Do, and you'll see it right at the tippy-top of What makes this the BOSSEST event calendar in Portland? Check this out:

• New, clean, and easy-to-read design... especially on your phone!

• No offense to robots—but they don't make good calendars. We have a kickass calendar department, whose only job is to seek out fun, entertaining stuff for you to do, and make ours the most accurate, up-to-date event calendar in town.

• Our calendar gives you all the pertinent info you need, PLUS photos, videos, reviews, venue information and directions, AND even how to get tickets.

• Want to know the funnest stuff to do for Pride weekend (or other Portland festivals)? It's right there at the top of our Things to Do drop-down menu!

• Our movie listings are updated daily and are insanely easy to use—and we'll tell you if the film is amazing or an unwatchable tub of crap!

• Love theater, dance, comedy, food, fashion, art, or pot? If there's an event for it, rest assured Things to Do will have it.

• And don't miss our new Things to Do page in the print edition of the Mercury, giving you our heavily curated picks of the best things to do in Portland all week!

However, there is ONE thing that Things to Do is not: a broken-down, confusing, out-of-date garbage calendar like you'll find on other sites. If you like fun, excitement, and exploring Portland, now there's only one calendar for you.

THINGS TO DO: Portland's Best, Most Accurate, and Up-to-Date Entertainment Calendar—only at