DANGERS
OF
THE MEDIEVAL WORLD
TRADING CARD SERIES–COLLECT THEM ALL!
#3 BLACK BILE
WHAT IS IT? “Black Bile” is one of the four “humors” or bodily fluids
that make up the human body. These humors are directly related to the four basic
elements: fire = yellow bile or choler; water = phlegm; earth = black bile;
air = blood. A perfect balance between all four humors must be maintained lest
tragedy ensue!
BLACK BILE PROS: While a profusion of Black Bile can cause melancholy,
it is NOT the result of entering into congress with Satan, or bad odor as our
naive ancestors once believed. An excess of Black Bile is easily cured by the
placing of leeches or bloodletting by the local barber.
BLACK BILE CONS: Without treatment, Black Bile spreads throughout
the body, causing hemorrhoids, gangrene, cataracts, and fistula. Though these
can be cured by cauterization or by the gall from a castrated boar, an agonizing
death almost always results.
CONCLUSION: Black Bile is one of the “Dangers of the Medieval World!”
#4 SQUIRRELS
WHAT ARE THEY? The smallest member of the bear family, this tiny animal
is one of the forest’s most useful creatures. It is often hunted by the serf
to supplement his meager diet, or skinned alive to provide pelts for making
shoes, lutes, or mechanical clocks.
SQUIRREL PROS: The blood of squirrel is composed of briony, opium, henbane,
and the juice of hemlock; the only known cure for tuberculosis.
SQUIRREL CONS: The squirrel is widely renown for collecting nuts, unscrewing
their tops, and filling them with the yellow bile of the dead. They take these
nuts and slip them into the noses of sleeping children, subsequently causing
a disease that eventually wiped out half of Europe; the BLACK PLAGUE. (See “Dangers
of the Medieval World #5: THE BLACK PLAGUE”)
CONCLUSION: Squirrels are one of the “Dangers of the Medieval World!”