The Merriam-Webster
Gay Lexicon
Third Edition
If one is “straight,” traveling into the land of the gays is tantamount to visiting
France; if you don’t know the language, you don’t know what you’ll get. Therefore,
it is with great pleasure that Merriam-Webster (the makers of fine reference
books since 1869) presents this updated selection of words which “the gays”
use.
tea-bagging • The soaking of one’s testicles
in a pot of boiling tea for erotic pleasure. (preferably Earl Grey).
rainbow • A naturally occurring meteorological
phenomenon that proves that God is gay.
rainbow flag • An emblem of the secret gay code
of conduct, which whispers ever so discreetly, “we’re gay.”
poppers • A fried delicacy (often stuffed with
jalapenos) eaten during the sexual act to heighten erotic pleasure.
glory hole • A shallow pit used by gay serial
killers to dispose of their “dates.”
rimming • The act of sweeping the tongue around
the teeth, then exclaiming, “Mmmmmy mouth tastes terrific!”
felching •A mathematical equation used to deduce
the circumference of “Pi.”
fellatio • The 32nd of Baskin-Robbins “31 Flavors.”
fisting • An act used while listening to Iron
Maiden, where participants punch their fists into the air to derive erotic pleasure.
prince albert •Making prank phone calls to derive
erotic pleasure. (See also, “running refrigerator.”)
queer window • Also known as “scat.”
butch • A lesbian who happens to be particularly
masculine, and thinks nothing is funny.
swedish porno • The IKEA catalog.
fame •The single greatest movie ever made.