Steelers fans to world: “WHOOOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOOOOOO! SUCK IT!”

Some people in Arizona got a little something extra with their Super Bowl coverage—30 second of porn! Thanks Comcast!

In other sports news, Olympian Michael Phelps gets caught huffing a bong. After winning nine medals, is there something else he needs to be doing?

Obama’s pick to oversee health care reform, Tom Daschle, screwed up his taxes and is “profoundly apologetic.” Geez! What would he say if he strangled a kitten?

Former Gov. Rod Blagojevich will be appearing on Letterman Tuesday night! Ohhhhh boy!

And finally, do you need to buy some quality leather at competitive prices? Well, you’re going to have to listen to this rant about Elliot Spitzer and Hillary Clinton first.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)