Most Oregonians—the lucky ones who aren't essential service workers, that is—are stuck at home these days, unable to enjoy many of life's simple pleasures. But one, um, pleasure is still in reach for many of us, which leads to a natural question: Is it okay to fuck during the pandemic?
Fortunately, the Oregon Health Authority (OHA) is here to help.
While much is still unknown about COVID-19, we do know that the virus can be spread through some bodily fluids—including saliva and fecal matter, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Last month, New York City advised its residents to cool it with in-person hookups, and pivot to masturbation and having sex with people they lived with instead.
It also gave a warning against rimming that felt simultaneously pointed and evasive:
NYC sent out a sex guideline during coronavirus
They could’ve just said, “don’t eat ass my guy” pic.twitter.com/FNPk3voGoV
— Alexis Guerreros (@NotAlexis) March 21, 2020
Not to be outdone by the highfalutin' folks of New York City, the OHA has now released its own delightful graphic guide to safe sex in the time of the coronavirus:
Here's the gist of OHA's advice: Do masturbate, don't rim, and do practice commonsense guidelines like using condoms, and washing your damn hands. Also, act like you're the most popular boy at the middle school dance and practice selective kissing.
So there you have it, Oregonians: Even if you aren't donating blood or sewing face masks, you can still do your part right now—by doing yourself.