He literally cannot do anything right.
He literally cannot do anything right. Courtesy CBS

Here's your daily roundup of all the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

• Before we start, I have a serious question for Trump supporters: How in the WORLD can you stand behind a weak, crybaby like this? I'd really like to know.

• A Portland cop who was driving an unmarked police van during a June protest has reportedly been charged with three misdemeanors after hitting a protester who police say was suspected of vandalism. And right on cue, the Portland Police union is crying foul, calling the victims' account of the incident "false" and "self-serving." Unfortunately for these serial liars, the Oregonian has video of the incident. Judge for yourself who's being "false" and "self-serving."

• Portland has joined Seattle and New York in a lawsuit against the Trump administration for labeling the cities as "anarchist jurisdictions" and withholding federal funds—WHICH WE PAID FOR WITH OUR TAX DOLLARS, LET US NOT FORGET!

• The good news? COVID numbers in Oregon dropped last week following a worrying rise in cases. The bad news? The numbers are still too high to send kids safely back to school, though the governor is renewing talks to see how and when that could happen.

• BE ON ALERT: A new report from crisis-mapping project ACLED and research group Militia Watch has discovered that five states are at high risk of seeing increased militia activity and... yep! Oregon is definitely included on the list thanks to violent fart cushion groups, Proud Boys and Patriot Prayer.

• Clear your mind with Jenni Moore's newest "Refresh Playlist"—the best new music releases of the week, featuring Aminé, Black Thought, Blossom, and more!


• If you feel mentally strong enough to endure it, the final Biden/Trump debate is tonight at 6 pm PST on all major networks and YouTube, moderated by the excellent Kristen Welker of NBC News. A reason to watch: the introduction of the Trump muting button which is designed to stop his constant interruptions. Reasons not to watch: More than 47 million Americans have already voted, and there are barely any undecided voters left. But the most important reason to skip it? Trump is a participant.

• Once again Trump has shot his own foot off by preemptively releasing footage from his disastrous interview with Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes, where he looks like an insecure crybaby and the posterboy for white male fragility.

• To show their disdain of the GOP trying to jam the unqualified, right-wing Amy Coney Barrett into a Supreme Court seat, Democrats boycotted today's Senate Judiciary Committee whose unanimous approval sets up a final vote in the Senate this coming Monday. HOWEVER: Biden says he will set up a commission of scholars to explore what can be done to reform the Supreme Court, which he correctly states is "out of whack."

• Despite the administration's claims that Iran is monkeying around in our election, intelligence officers are far more worried about Russia, who they say are gearing up to cause some serious havoc if the presidential results are the slightest bit close.

• This headline should be repeated every day until all guilty parties are in prison: "Lawyers say they can't find the parents of 545 migrant children separated by Trump administration."

• The ex-officer who brutally killed George Floyd by kneeling on his neck for 8 minutes has had a charge of 3rd-degree murder dismissed by a judge—though the more serious second-degree murder charge remains.

• Today in "Greedy Bastards Get Caught" news: International investment bank Goldman Sachs has been fined a record $2.9 billion dollars for embezzling $4 billion from a fund dedicated to helping Malaysia's economic development and using it to buy "real estate in Beverly Hills and New York, yachts, a jet and works by Vincent Van Gogh and Claude Monet."

• Find out what it's like to be on the front lines of Portland's nightly protests against systemic racism and police brutality with our livestream event/forum, "Eyes on the Ground: A Conversation With Portland's Protest Journalists and Documentarians"—coming at you Tuesday, October 27 at 7 pm. GET THOSE TIX NOW!

• In these terrifying times, don't you need a good, wholesome scare? Get your tickets now for SLAY—the short, eight-minute-or-less HORROR film festival from the makers of HUMP! Streaming right now through the 31st! (Interested in getting out more? Then come to the SLAY Drive-In at Oaks Park! Details here!)

• The WEATHER REPORT: Cloudy with a good chance of showers tomorrow and a high of 53!

• And finally... Daaaaaad! STOP!! You're embarrassing MEEEEEEEEEEE!!