The Nabisco workers strike (born in Portland) is over, so I guess its okay for you to try these now.
The Nabisco workers strike (born in Portland) is over, so I guess it's okay for you to try these now. Nabisco

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IN LOCAL NEWS:

• After a fraught (and occasionally violent) few weeks, Portland's Nabisco workers' strike has come to an end after the national union and the company agreed on a new contract—one that local workers aren't 100 percent pleased with. Abe Asher has the details and the report.

• Warning: Get ready to lose your goddamn mind. I'm just going to leave the opening graph for this story by the Newberg Graphic right here: "A staff member at Mabel Rush Elementary School in Newberg showed up to work in Blackface on Friday, calling herself Rosa Parks and doing so in protest of a vaccine mandate for all school district staff." Newberg has also been in the news because of their heavily conservative school board who banned Pride and Black Lives Matter symbols in their district. Coincidence? I seriously doubt that.

• VERY MUCH RELATED: Yamhill County Commissioner Mary Starrett (who represents Newberg) is in the news for maliciously spreading misinformation about COVID-19 vaccines, and then, after being pointed out how wrong her ignorant conclusions were, doubled down on her ignorance.

• Speaking of an excess of ignorance, hundreds of anti-vaxxers demonstrated outside of the Oregon capitol on Saturday to protest against Gov. Kate Brown trying to take away their right to kill friends and family. Here's my fave quote from the story, spoken by a Salem pastor (who apparently hasn't read much of the Bible): “If we can get 10,000 to 20,000 people to do this, we will shut down the whole state.” Aren't these the same guys who were protesting months ago when the state was shut down? MAKE UP YOUR MINDS ALREADY!

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• After months of testing, Pfizer is saying their COVID vaccine is both safe and highly effective for kids 5-11 years old, even though it is a much lower dose than the ones administered to adults. Pfizer will be asking for US authorization, and if their vaccine gets the FDA okay, kids could be getting shots by as soon as Halloween.

• A Texas doctor who has admitted to performing an abortion against state law is practically begging the anti-abortion zealots to sue him, which will once again test if the unconstitutional law can stand the heat. Meanwhile a Mississippi anti-abortion law will be coming before the conservative-leaning Supreme Court in December.

• The US Border Patrol is trying to defend the indefensible way 6,000 Haitian migrants have been forced out of their encampment on the Texas border—which included agents chasing them on horseback with what appeared to be whips. The chief of the border patrol said the response would be investigated, and the White House called the photos depicting the mistreatment "horrific." Meanwhile the Biden Administration announced today that it would raise the refugee admissions cap to 125,000 in 2022—a campaign promise Biden made before the election.

• And here we go again: Congress has until September 30 to figure out a way to fund the government or risk a shutdown, and naturally, Senate Republicans are refusing to help and informing Democrats they need to figure out the problem themselves.

• Are you ready for some sexy fun? Then don't miss HUMP! 2021—featuring tons of hotsy-totsy five-minute filthy flicks—coming at ya LIVE AND IN-PERSON at Revolution Hall for two screenings only on October 1! (You can stream it online, too!) GET THOSE TIX QUICK, it's heading toward a sell-out!

• Hey Savage Love fans! Get your tix now to see Dan Savage live and in-person on October 2 for a reading of his newest book, Savage Love from A to Z, an illustrated collection of 26 never-before-published essays! (Plus, paid attendees get their own copy of the book!)

• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: We're bouncing back to summer tomorrow with a sunny high of 82.

• And finally, somebody needs to make this into a series so we can give it an Emmy!