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Entitled white guy baffled that fellow entitled white guy Nick Kristofs campaign was thwarted. ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK LIKE THAT!!
Entitled white guy baffled that fellow entitled white guy Nick Kristof's campaign was thwarted. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK LIKE THAT!! MangoStar_Studio / iStock / Getty Images Plus

GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday! And on this Friday you can expect mostly sunny skies and a very pleasant high of 55—but showers return this weekend, so get your sunny sun TODAY. Now... LET'S DO SOME NEWS.


• If you're a person who thinks Portland needs a lot more cops (and if so, I'd encourage you to read the Mercury more often), you will be very happy to learn that the new contract between the city and the Portland Police contains just that—but the city is getting a lot out of the deal, too. Our Alex Zielinski has more.

• As you may have heard, former NYT columnist (and fair weather Oregon resident) Nick Kristof was booted out of the governor's race yesterday after the state Supremes ruled that he didn't meet residency requirements. BUT! Everyone wants to know one thing: What does this decision mean for all the other white, entitled, and unqualified white men of Oregon? Our Wm. Steven Humphrey (hey, that's me) has a smart-assy essay that could answer just that.

• The family of Jenoah Donald, a Black Vancouver man who was shot and killed by Clark County deputies during a traffic stop a year ago, are suing the officers, claiming the pull-over was illegal and they unnecessarily escalated the situation.

• Oregon's Dept. of Transportation is moving ahead with their plan to expand the I-5 corridor towards Harriet Tubman Middle School, but, but, BUT! So far the community is split on whether or not to force the kids to move to avoid pollutants. Our Isabella Garcia has the latest updates.

• More woes for Dutch Bros! Co-founder Travis Boersma received more unwelcome news about his proposed "entertainment and gambling" venue in Grants Pass—the governor has put pressure on the Oregon Racing Commission to deny horse racing machines at the casino. The casino idea was already nixed by the DOJ, since such venues are only supposed to be on tribal lands or run by the state. Looks like Travis might be stuck selling super-sugary caffeine bombs like Dutch Bros. "Double Rainbro Rebel Energy Drink." (Try it if you want to see your teeth hop out of your mouth and run for their lives.)

• The youth of today (also known as the "Now Generation") is flipping ass over teakettle for the Portland-bred indie rock sounds of MAITA, and our Jenni Moore has a profile and review of her new album!


• Russia, despite their lies about deescalating the situation in Ukraine, are actually escalating the fuck out of the situation, by playing war games, inserting up to 190,000 troops into the area, and testing nuclear-capable missiles. NOT... GOOD.

• As promised, Canadian cops began arresting dingbat anti-vax organizers as well as their fellow dingbats and towing away their vehicles, after refusing to leave the capitol building in Ottawa.

• A judge has ordered Trump and his evil brood (Ivanka and Don Jr.) to answer the New York AG's questions under oath regarding his shady business dealings. (Rest assured, Trump's lawyers are teaching him and the kids how to plead the fifth.)

• Former Minnesota officer Kim Potter is scheduled to be sentenced today after being found guilty of manslaughter when she allegedly mistook her handgun for her taser, shooting and killing 20-year-old Black man, Daunte Wright. A first degree manslaughter charge in the state usually results in a 7-year sentence.

• Today in "the Mercury has a new nickname": "Melania Trump Calls Media ‘Dream Killers’ for Accurately Reporting Her Murky Fundraising."

• If you think you're a smarty-pants (and you probably are), test your knowledge of local scandals, elks, and dance crazes of the '90s with this super fun edition of POP QUIZ PDX!

• It’s back for 2022! America’s sexiest, funnest dirty movie fest, HUMP! Coming at ya starting February 24 at Revolution Hall—GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

• And finally, look I get the need for safety... but these airport security guys are just a little too nosy for my taste!