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In Ukraine, counter attacks are pushing Russian forces back in some places. Babushkas in Svitylnia victoriously ride bikes.
In Ukraine, counter attacks are pushing Russian forces back in some places. Babushkas in Svitylnia victoriously ride bikes. Anastasia Vlasova/Getty Images

Good Afternoon, Portland. Last night I had the misfortune of being seated behind two CLEARLY IN LOVE people at the symphony (so much canoodling), but we are all the enemy of whomever is sitting behind us at the theater. Theater seats are capitalism! NOW FOR THE NEWS.


• Portland is the only major city in the US that still uses a commission form of government, and the opportunity to change that model may soon end up on the city's ballot. So by all means keep arguing about that elk statue.

• The federal government requires the city of Portland to maintain a citizen police accountability group—as part of a 2014 settlement agreement—but just a month before Portland is set to appear in federal court to provide an update... it looks like the board is moving towards conflict-laden hiatus. What does that mean? Mercury News Editor Alex Zielinski breaks it all down for you.

• After being a mainstay of Portland nightlife for the last 11 years, dance club/burger bar Dig A Pony will close its doors this June. But the venue's final shows sound epic and the new owners look very promising.

• If you spent too much on cheese again (AGAIN, SUZETTE?), the Mercury's got you covered with this round-up of fun, affordable events to check out this weekend. If you're already booked up we also have the hot tips on upcoming shows that are gonna sell out fast.


• Some good labor news: Amazon workers in New York’s Staten Island have voted to unionize, despite (surprise!) heavy duty lobbying from the devil corporation.

• So far 3,000 civilians have escaped from Mariupol in Ukraine, however the Red Cross has been stymied in their attempts to assist the humanitarian evacuation—thanks to a Russian blockade. As many as 100,000 civilians remain trapped there. Meanwhile, Russian troops appear to be withdrawing from the airport near the capital of Kyiv, following weeks of digging in and bragging about their conquest.

• The House voted in favor of legalizing cannabis nationwide today, mostly along party lines. (Funny that the GOP doesn’t like pot… they seem to love their cocaine orgies.) Now the legislation will move to the Senate where it will surely be shat upon by Sen. Joe Manchin.

• AHOY THERE, STONERS! The SPLIFF Film Festival—featuring short, hilarious, trippy, and thoughtful mini-movies about cannabis and made by stoners just like YOU—is coming to Revolution Hall for one night only on Saturday, April 16! GET THOSE TICKETS NOW!

• Wry Tik Tok star—and young adult author—Kyle Prue has an idea about motivating your partner to vote.

@kyleprue Lysistrata for democracy #fyp #foryou #lysistrata #polyamory #bears #BridgertonScandal #LizzosBigGrrrls ♬ original sound - Kyle Prue