During their first soapbox derby race, Aaron Abrams and Pete
West’s car ended up in a bramble of blackberry bushes.
“The Muddy River Nightmare Band racer knocked us off the road the
first year,” Abrams claims. “The nails on their car tore my
jumpsuit—they mangled our ride.”
Welcome to the annual Portland Adult Soapbox Derby.
For the past 11 years, bold gearheads have paid for the privilege of
racing their gravity-powered deathtraps down a curvy mile-long track.
They’ve suffered abrasions, lacerations, concussions, and contusions
due to the perilous twists and turns of Mt. Tabor. But this Saturday,
they will gladly risk injury again. For what? Money. Fame. Shiny
trophies. The jealousy, envy, and hatred of one’s peers. The usual.
The event, run by (Mercury Marketing Director) Zach Hull and
Patrick Leyshock, will start at 10 am on Saturday, August 25. The races
will be followed by an afterparty at Plan B (1305 SE 8th), where awards
will be distributed with the help of music and beverages. (During the
race however, it’s BYOB.)
Soapbox cars must rely on gravity for propulsion rather than
engines. Because entries are strictly DIY, some cars fall apart before
reaching the finish line, but that’s half the fun of the
derby—it’s a test of engineering know-how as much as racing
prowess.
Cars fall into one of two categories: “Art” for the pretty ones and
“science” for the fast ones. That’s not to say an “art” car can’t be
fast or a “science” car can’t be pretty—it’s really up to the
contestants to figure out what’s best for their babies. Awards are not
only given for winning, but for more esoteric goals: best art car,
engineering, crowd pleaser, costumes, and the ever-dubious lame duck
award.
Abrams and West are a prime example of the DIY ethos of the Adult
Soapbox Derby.
“We pretty much wing it,” West says. “Think on the fly. Make it up
as we go.”
He says they had no idea how to make a soapbox car when they started
racing five years ago. Their first car was a tricycle-like vehicle made
out of steel plumbing pipes. They christened it Landshark I, after a
recurring character from Saturday Night Live.
Even after being run off the road in their first year, Abrams and
West weren’t discouraged. The desire for revenge strengthened their
resolve, and they went to work improving Landshark so they could beat
the team who mangled their ride.
Despite having zero knowledge of the basics of designing and
building an effective racing vehicle, they kept at it. They learned
welding from West’s father. They created a workspace in West’s garage
and filled it with the necessary tools. They redesigned Landshark from
scratch for last year’s race, ditching the tricycle look of Landsharks
I-III in favor of a 1940s-style Indy racecar influence. Out went the
plumbing pipes; in went the sheet metal.
The new design gave them a much-needed boost last year. In each of
the three time trials, Landshark IV finished in less than 1.5
minutes—a barrier they could never crack with the original
design.
“As the day went on, we thought—yeah, we could actually win
this,” West says.
The two just barely missed finals after falling a single second
behind last year’s first-place winner, Fix Diesel Teaser V, during the
semi-finals. They achieved a respectable third-place finish, which was
a welcome surprise to both racers. It was their first time winning an
award; they didn’t even remember to go to the afterparty to pick up
their trophy. This year, they’ve set their expectations
higher—they want first.
With only a short amount of time before this year’s derby, Abrams
and West are hurrying to make as many changes to last year’s model as
possible. They’re trying to get a recently installed steering box from
an old Mercedes-Benz to work. And if there’s time, they hope to extend
the back cab and lengthen the brake bars.
But they’ll have to hurry. Both Fix Diesel Teaser and last year’s
second-place winners, Team F.A.N.G., are returning for another go at
the coveted first-place spot. And who knows—a new design may come
out of nowhere to smoke the competition.
Suspense—that’s the other half of the fun.
Adult Soapbox Derby: Mt. Tabor Park, SE Salmon & 60th, Sat
Aug 25, 10 am, free, all ages; Afterparty: Plan B (formerly Acme), 1305
SE 8th, w/Muddy River Nightmare Band & Motorama, 6 pm, $3,
21+