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Republican Rep. Devin Nunes and minority counsel Steve Castor share a tender bro moment at Wednesdays impeachment hearing.
Republican Rep. Devin Nunes and minority counsel Steve Castor share a tender bro moment at Wednesdays impeachment hearing. drew angerer / Getty images

Good morning, Portland! As we wade ass-deep into these impeachment hearings, a friendly reminder: The US federal government has been doing shady shit for a long time!

Here are the headlines.

Impeachment? I Barely Knew Peach! Yesterday brought the first public, televised, Very Special Impeachment Episode of the Trump presidency. New details emerged, nobody knew how to say Kiev, Republicans continued to defend Trump, and Democrats invited Trump to come testify for himself. There, I just saved you several hours, but you can see more here.

By the 'Book: You know who this whole impeachment thing has been great for? Mark Zuckerberg! Impeachment ads—both those pushing for impeachment, and those from Trump and his supporters railing against impeachment—are bringing in millions for Facebook.

A Fated Alliance:

Who? Former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick is.......... (drum roll please)........ running for president in the Democratic primary!

Campaign Finance Reform Now: Mayor Ted Wheeler announced yesterday that he will set limits on contributions for his re-election campaign. But those limits—$5,000 for individuals and $10,000 for organizations—dwarf the contribution limits approved by Portland voters last year. (Those standards aren't yet in effect, because they're being challenged in court.) As a very objective, serious journalist, I can't give my opinion about this. But you, a civilian, might be inclined to say Wheeler's self-imposed limits are lacking in substance, perhaps?

Yikes Again! After former Nike Oregon Project runner Mary Cain spoke up about the abuse she suffered under Nike's watch, many more former Oregon Project athletes are coming forward with their own horror stories.

One Last Thing Before You Go: People Magazine named John Legend its Sexiest Man of the Year yesterday, and one horny Shark Tank star was not happy about it! Let's all try to emulate Barbara's impressive ability to advocate for what she wants today, shall we?