GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Everyday I walk her home from school, and she tells me how she really feels. And there’s no doubt in my mind that this girl is one of a kind. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Police have suspended the investigation of a black Lewis & Clark student who was allegedly attacked on campus by three white men. While some say his account is a hoax, he’s sticking by his story.

Who’s got two thumbs and is ready for three straight days of heavy rain? THIS G… wait. Not this guy.

In last night’s GOP debate, there was no clear winner—but Trump was forced to defend his idiotic stances while his main competition, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, bickered like your parents on a long road trip.

And surprise, surprise: According to the AP fact checking squad, the Republican debate was teeming with lies.

In other GOP idiocy, House Republicans are working on a resolution that would stop the imaginary “War on Christmas.”

According to witnesses, a black Memphis teen was running away from cops when they shot him dead.

Meanwhile in Baltimore, the verdict in the Freddie Gray case is quickly approaching, and activists are unsettled by the police who are drilling in full riot gear.

Los Angeles schools are reopening today after receiving emailed threats (supposedly sent from Germany) that turned out to be a hoax. New York got similar threats and ignored them.

In Japan, their highest court rules that when women get married they must continue to take their husbands’ names. OLD-TIMEY!

Now let’s check out this WEATHER situation: As mentioned before, RAIN RAIN AND MORE RAIN. With highs in the mid-to-upper 40s.

And finally, here’s the cast of The Force Awakens (and Jimmy Fallon & the Roots) doing an a capella version of the Star Wars theme! Oh, you know… BECAUSE.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)