GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Bling-bling-bling, I don’t see no ring. So why you got to go and change everything? LET’S GO TO PRESS.

It’s Day 33 of the Malheur Wildlife Refuge standoff, and the four remaining occupiers are still stubbornly holding on, even as leader Ammon Bundy tells them from jail to go home. One of them, David Fry, is saying “it’s time to break the law.” (Oh, he’s just figuring this out?) Meanwhile the family of dead occupier LaVoy Finicum have issued a statement claiming the FBI and law enforcement are covering up the real details of the shooting. (Mmmm… is anything not a cover up to these people?) And Franklin Graham, the son of late evangelist Billy Graham, has joined negotiations to end the stand off, because apparently this stupid situation CAN get more ridiculous.

The WW is reporting that a high ranking Multnomah county female deputy has accused the sheriff of making frequent “offensive sexual comments and derogatory comments about women in front of her.”

A former soccer coach is suing Clackamas County for wrongly accusing him of sexually abusing a minor.

The minimum wage bill currently making its way through the Oregon legislature has hit a snag thanks to a small part of our constitution which would allow counties to opt out of the law.

Today in “Oh god… here we go again”: Donald Trump is crying FRAUD! at Ted Cruz, who he says cheated the Iowa caucuses by announcing Ben Carson was dropping out of the race, thereby stealing his support.

Republican Senator Rand Paul has dropped out of the presidential race whatever who cares let’s move on Zzzzzzzzz.

Hillary and Bernie will be going head-to-head in tonight’s Town Hall debate on CNN.

The first American case of the Zika virus has arrived in Texas, allegedly passed through sexual transmission.

The Serial podcast’s Adnan Syed is getting another chance to argue for his alleged innocence in court.

Speaking of people who may have been unfairly accused, more prisoners are being exonerated for their accused crimes than ever before, which hit a record high in 2015.

Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin didn’t waste a second in signing an anti-woman abortion bill the second it hit his desk. (Wonder if he even read it?)

A reporter has been fired from the digital magazine The Intercept for printing blatant lies and making up sources.

Ohio governor (and prez hopeful) John Kasich has vowed to get the band Pink Floyd back together. Ummm… it’s okay. We’re good.

Now let’s look at outside’s WEATHER FORECAST: Scattered showers and sunbreaks today with a high of 49.

And finally… oh, dear. There’s this.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)