CLEAN MY HOUSE, YOU STUPID BABY!! What??? What are you using to clean that table top? Haven’t you ever heard of a sponge, stupid? And why don’t you take off that stupid jacket?? You look like albino Michael Jackson, for the love of stupid Christ. Look… just… just… OMIFUCKINGGOD, JUST NEVERMIND!!! I’ll do it myself!! Just go and sit in the corner. Sure, you can keep on drinking that cleaning fluid. Maybe it’ll make you less STUPID!!!!


Stupid baby cleaning fluid poisoned stupid baby.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)