In a barn-burning speech to social conservatives here, Michele Bachmann called Monday for abolishing the entire tax code and the Department of Education, labeled Planned Parenthood the "LensCrafters of big abortion" and slammed same-sex marriage advocates for going against what she called 5,000 years of human history.

In addition to the Department of Energy, she also railed against the Departments of Commerce, and Energy, which she said we could "live without." Also on her hit list? The judicial branch, which was apparently added to the Constitution by Marxists or something. "That's what you had here in Iowa: black-robed masters," Bachmann said. "They are not our masters. They are not our morality. They are not put there to make the decisions."

It must be nice to be as crazy as Michele Bachmann. Everyone else has to clean up your messes and worry about reality, and you just get to walk around and flap your fucking gums as though words don't actually have consequences.