Like animals? So does nominee/animal activist, Matt Rossell. Successfully disguising himself, Rossell was hired in May 1998 as an animal care technician at the Oregon Regional Primate Research Center. In late August of this year, he released alarming photos and videotapes of physically and psychologically disturbed rhesus monkeys. Like an activist’s dream come true, he got results: The USDA recommended the elimination of electro-ejaculation procedures and that the more highly social monkeys be housed in groups instead of alone in tiny stainless steel cages. Nice work, Matt! Both the Academy and the monkey community thank you.
Our second nominee, PETA, has unfortunately been disqualified for its repeated, and stupefying, attempts at grabbing media attention. In one of PETA’s more confusing stunts, last year they hired an attractive, nearly-nude young woman painted with tiger stripes. For an afternoon, she grinned and cooed from a small cage in the middle of Pioneer Square. However, slack-jawed onlookers were more intrigued by her pasties than her message–a protest against the Barnum & Bailey Circus and its exploitation of animals. C’mon PETA. Replacing one brand of exploitation with another only confuses the message. But better luck next year!
And now our final nominee: the People for Protecting Our Pets from Smut! Half-joking and half-serious, a dozen people went to unique lengths recently to protest the new Mr. Peeps porn shop in sleepy Aloha, OR. Brandishing placards saying “No Titties for Kitties,” the group marched alongside bandaged dogs wearing testimonial signs about the horrors of exposing pets to porn!
And, the award for the Best Protest Involving Pets goes to by unanimous decision, that monkey-lovin’ activist Matt Rossell! (Accepting the award for Mr. Rossell is Clyde, the orangutan from Any Which Way But Loose.)