Unless something drastically changes by press time, I’ve been single for the entirety of my 26-year existence.
I’ve never lived with a person I was dating. I’ve never declared my relationship status on Facebook. I’ve never said “I love you” to a partner and meant it. So, as far as dating is concerned, I’m about one step away from taking engagement photos with a burrito and calling it good.
When I moved to Portland last February, I was convinced that was all about to change. This would be the time and place in my life when I could date freely and successfully. Carpe diem, OkCupid! Here I come!
But with my new city came new problems. My high hopes and daily bus-ride marriage fantasies were quickly dashed by off-the-market married men, noncommittal fuckbois, and my own overwhelming lack of ambition. (Is it my fault burritos are so much easier to talk to?) Now I find myself back at the crux of perpetual singledom. I’ve finally started to wonder if it’s because my life is some sort of Never Been Kissed parody or if the fault lies with the city itself. Maybe Portland isn’t the dating mecca I dreamed it would be.
In an attempt to find out, I surveyed a wide variety of Portland friends, coworkers, comedians, and storytellers. These people represent a slice of the diverse sexualities and relationship statuses of our city. For all their differences, what they have in common is a sharp perspective on the assets and liabilities of dating in Portland.
Even after all these interviews, I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about Portland dating. It depends on my mood, and the level of my hope for humanity—which typically decreases with the number of times I’ve swiped Tinder that day. What I did learn from these generous interviewees is that I’m not alone in wading through the awkward Portland dating pool. Each of their stories reminded me that when dating, it’s best to be honest (with yourself and your potential partner), authentic, and remember that even if a date goes horribly wrong, you still walk away with a good story.
