Could you imagine if the Rapture really happened on Saturday and all those evangelicals got sucked to to the sky and left the earth to us? What kind of a world would we who are left behind experience?

Who would try to ban books in libraries? Who would make idiotic "challenges" to evolution and otherwise actively attempt to drag public education into a practically pre-literate state? Who would obsess over controlling everyone's sex lives? Who would protect the pedophiles? Who would teach impoverished people around the world that family planning—the simplest and most important tool they have to gain control of their own lives—is evil? Who would use fiction as an excuse for bullying? Who would steal from the poor in an insane extortion racket and then build an immense palace to celebrate their own wealth?*

Please, please go to heaven, you radical, regressive Christians. The fields of science, education, the arts, and health care are begging you to go away. Politics would be better if you disappeared. The world would be a more peaceful place. I cannot think of one way in which my world would be worse if you all went to heaven. I can think of dozens—probably hundreds—of ways in which my world would be better.

Fucking go, already.


* Okay, this last one isn't a strictly religious problem.