I'm a gay guy living in New York in his late twenties. My boyfriend has really been emotionally impacted by the pandemic having been a frontline worker. I think he is suffering from some mild depression or at the very least some intense anxiety so I just want to preface this by saying I completely sympathize with what he's going through. Before the pandemic we had a really good sex life, but lately he hasn't been interested in sex at all besides a few assisted masturbation sessions. While I know that these aren't usual times, I can't help feeling rejected. Normally, I would suggest opening up the relationship, for the sake of both myself and him, and I think that he might benefit from having sex with some guys where there isn't an emotional investment. Of course, right now...
Thanks For Reading
As much as I hate to give you an unsatisfactory answerāyou arenāt satisfied with what youāre getting at home and youāre not going to be satisfied with what you get from me eitherāthe only way to find out whether his loss of libido is entirely pandemic-related, TFR, is to wait out of the pandemic and see if your sexual connection doesnāt rebound and/or if opening up the relationship is the right move for you guys as a couple. But if you suspect the collapse of your boyfriendās libido has more to do with what heās witnessed and endured as a front-line worker than it has to do with you or your relationship, TFR, therapy will do him more good than sleeping with other guys or masturbating without you. Urge him to do that instead.
My dad is dying. He had a stroke two days ago and is in a coma with no brain function. My aunt (his sister) is trying to make me feel guilty for not traveling to see him. Even though I'm pregnant and high risk. I would have to take an airplane across the country and multiple public buses to see him. I would have to risk my baby's life to say goodbye to a man I love with all my heart. She insists that if I donāt, I don't love my dad. I'm heartbroken. I keep calling his hospice and they set the phone next to his head so I can talk at him. He was so excited about my pregnancy and I know he would not want me to risk it. But now not only am I grieving my father, I feel guilty and selfish. Am I right to be angry? My aunt's brother is dying. Sheās sad. Everyone is sad. But this is not the first time she has used guilt to try and control others in moments of trauma.
Crying On My Abdomen
There has to be someone in your life who would be willing to step in and tell your aunt to go fuck herself. If there isnāt, COMA, send me your auntās phone and Iāll do it.
P.S. Iām so sorry about your dadāwho is already goneāand Iām sorry your kid wonāt get to meet their grandfather. And you have every right to be furious with your aunt for giving you grief when you have all the grief you can handle right now. Donāt get on that plane. And if your aunt never speaks to you again, COMA, just think of all the guilt trips she wonāt be able to drag along on in the future.
I am a 26-year-old heterosexual girl. After four years with my boyfriend (and with the pandemic on top of it), we started to experience sex issues. It is mainly from my side, I (almost) never get satisfaction out of sex. Iām always enthusiastic about having sex but I donāt feel āinvolvedā and I could literally be solving math problems in my head while we have sex. As the situation is frustrating, I talked to him and suggested that more foreplay could help me stay engaged and enjoy the sex. He was puzzled by my āneed for foreplayā to reach orgasm but committed to trying. However, after minimal initial effort, he stopped trying and the limited foreplay ceased. He probably got frustrated by the amount of time I require to āwarm upā and his efforts dried up and he began rebuffing me whenever I attempted to initiate sex. Recently after he turned my sexual advances down yet again, I decided to masturbate. The result was him being upset and taking offense at my āunpleasant behavior.ā Should I feel guilty about masturbating when he turns me down? I am hurt and I very frustrated by this situation.
Masturbation Alone Turns Harsh
Allow me to decipher the message your pussy is desperately trying to send you, MATH, as you lay there doing math problems while your boyfriend uses treats your body like itās a Fleshlight: āWouldnāt you rather masturbate alone and in peace than ever have to fuck this asshole again?ā Everyone requires a little foreplay, women require more than men do, it takes women longer to get off than it takes men (five minutes on average for men, thirteen minutes on average for women), and very few women can climax from vaginal intercourse alone. Any straight guy who isnāt willing to do the workāprovide the necessary foreplay and come through with the non-PIV stimulation or concurrent-with-PIV stimulation required to get a woman offādoesnāt deserve to have a girlfriend. DTMFA.
Iām a 53-year-old gay man and Iāve never been hornier in my life. I really need to guzzle about a quart of jizz right now. I havenāt been dating anyone and the COVID isolation has intensified my loneliness but itās the lack of D thatās driving me to distraction. The last time I sucked a dick was the afternoon Los Angeles began its first shutdown. Hereās the thing. I just had the first dose of the vaccine and the second is scheduled in a couple weeks. Is it safe to suck someoneās dick who has also had the vaccine? Everything I found on google only talks about how the vaccine may affect pregnant women. What about us cum whores?
Got the Fever for the Flavor
Where have you been? I predicted at the beginning of the pandemicābased on what we little we knew about transmission at the timeāthat we were entering a new golden age of glory holes. Two months later the New York City Health department was recommending ābarriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face-to-face contact,ā aka glory holesāand that was the harm-reduction advice given by health professionals long before vaccines became available. Seeing as youāre vaccinated, your risks are going to be lower. But to play it safe: build your own glory hole, invite a guy over, tell him to keep his mask on, and avoid close face-to-face by staying on your knees on the other side of that barrier.
I wanted to second something you wrote about kinks last week. You saidāIām paraphrasing hereāthat kinks are hard-wired but some people do manage to acquire them. My husband is into rope bondage. I gave it a try a couple of times at the very start of our relationship and for whatever reason being tied up didnāt work for me. We had great vanilla sex and he had a small stable of bondage boys on the side. A few months after the lockdowns began he started to worry about getting rusty. I offered to let him practice on me. I donāt know what changed, Dan, but when he tied me up for the first time in a decade, I was so turned on! At first I thought it was the pot edible but weāve done it a bunch of times since, times when I wasnāt high, and Iāve enjoyed it just as much or more. Now Iām the one pestering him to go get the ropes. I somehow acquired his kink and he couldnāt be happier!
Restrictions Of Pandemic Enables Development
P.S. I wouldāve called in to share our āpandemic sex success storyā for your podcast but my mom and both sisters all listen to the show and they really donāt need to know.
Thanks for sharing, ROPED!
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