I want to correct you on something youāve said repeatedly: a man can āhideā his bisexual orientation. I disagree. I felt my boyfriend was gay or bi immediately, but he flatly denied it. But it was so obvious! He sucked at sex, he never initiated, and he was clueless about female anatomy! I was forced to hunt for proof, which I discovered after nine months. Then I mercilessly outed him to friends, humiliated him to his face, and finally confronted him with the proof of his profile on a gay hookup app. I enjoyed every wicked minute exposing his lies and telling everyone the truth because he used and exploited me in a fake relationship. I was wrong about a couple of things. First, I thought if I asked him if he was gay, he would confess and...
Furious And Vengeful Ex
You are a terrible person, I donāt want you reading my column, and I hope your gay friends come to see you for the toxic person you are and cut you out of their livesāunless theyāre just as awful as you are, in which case they deserve you.
To be clear, FAVE, what your ex did was wrong. I have always taken a dim view of closeted gay men who date straight women to throw people off the scent of cock on their lips (assuming your ex was gay and not bi). But if this dude sucked at sex (when he had it with you), never initiated sex (at least not with you), and couldnāt find your clit if you gave him a flashlight (and probably not even then), why waste nine months on him? You couldāve and shouldāve dumped him the first time the sex was awful, FAVE, or when you first suspected it wasnāt you (or your kind) that he wanted to have sex with.
And for the record, FAVE, anyone can hide their sexual orientation, not just bi men. But many bisexuals donāt come out because they fear being mercilessly outed by angry, bitter, vindictive partners. Again, I donāt have much sympathy for closeted gay men who lie to and mislead women. But if your ex-boyfriend was bi, not gay, and you two hadnāt made a monogamous commitment to each other, he had every right to fuck other peopleāincluding other people with penises.
I have a question for you about pubic hair. Iām a straight female in my forties and began dating someone new recently. Weāve only been dating for about a month and this person keeps making requests that I shave or trim my pubic hair. I havenāt known this person long enough to feel comfortable making changes to my body on their account. Am I unusual in this area? Is it standard practice now to get rid of pubic hair? I honestly couldnāt care less about my partnersā hair, so long as theyāre hygienic. This email may be boring, but I was curious about your thoughts on this topic.
Lover Interrogates My Pubes
Some people get rid of their pubic hair to please themselves, LIMP, and some people get rid of their pubic hair to please their partners. Youāre not obligated to shave just because the man youāre dating asked you to, LIMP, but unless heās pressuring you or pouting about it, I donāt think heās being an asshole. If he asked nicely and you said no and he dropped it, LIMP, that means your new boyfriend can take ānoā for an answer and isnāt that a nice thing to know about him? That said, I donāt think trimming your pubic hair to please even a new partner amounts to āchanging your body.ā Itās not like getting a tattoo or removing a limbāif you donāt like how a trim looks or feels, LIMP, you can stop trimming and, in a few weeks, your natural habitat will be fully restored.
Iām a woman in a committed relationship with a man and weāve just started exploring ABDL. Iām the sub, heās the Dom. I was wondering if it would be ok for me to change his diapers. I want to show him Iām willing to clean him and take care of him too, but I feel like subs arenāt really supposed to take on those roles. And to be a good sub, I really want to know my place. I trust your opinion on these things.
Pensively Approaching Diapered Dom
Itās fine with me if you change your boyfriendās diapers, PADD, but youāre going to have to check with him. Not all āAdult Baby/Diaper Loverā play involves power exchange, but when people combine ABDL with D/s, itās typically the sub who wears the diapers (and has them changed) and the Dom who does the diapering and changing. But if your Dom is into wearing diapers, PADD, heās already blurring those boundariesāso, I donāt see why you canāt at least offer to change his. If having his diapers changed by his sub would make him feel less dominant, he can continue to change his own damn diapers.
Iām a single cis woman in my mid-40s. Iāve never wanted kids, but I did think at some point, Iād get married or have a long-term partnership. That hasnāt happened. Which is fine. Iām content with my life, I make good money, I own my own home, and I love and appreciate all of the great things that come with being single. (Doing whatever I want, whenever I want, andāletās be honestāfarting at home whenever I gosh darn need to.) I have a lot of dear friends who are married, and they are family. I accept that I may be single (but not alone!) for the rest of my life, and thatās fine too. But it comes down to this: I need physical intimacy. Iām okay with my life, but Iām not okay never having a sexual partner again. I really, really, really like sex. I want to be with a person I know well enough to get comfortable. But I live in a place where online meetups are either fleeting or scary. And Iām overweight and lack confidence and donāt exactly have all the boys coming to my yard. Give me some guidance, Dan.
She Isnāt Necessarily Getting Laid, Eh?
Online meetups feel fleeting because most online meetups, like most offline meetups, are fleeting. Theyāre chance encounters, like striking up a conversation with a stranger in a bar, and like most chance encounters, they typically go nowhere. Occasionally an online meet-up is scary in the dude-gives-off-serial-killer-vibe sense, but most are scary in the making-yourself-vulnerable-and-risking-rejection senseāand thereās no avoiding that kind of scary, SINGLE, only building up your tolerance for it.
And finally, SINGLE, and somewhat controversiallyā¦ if youāre content with your life as it is, and if you value being able to fart whenever you need to, there are married men out there who arenāt getting any at home, SINGLE, and not all of them are assholes. Some are loving, decent guys in loving, low-conflict marriages whoāve decided to stay married for loving, decent reasons. An ongoing connection with a loving, decent woman who doesnāt want more than they can give could obviously make one of these guys very happy, SINGLE, and it might make you a little happier too.
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